Simple As ABC
by LindsayC173
Summary: His parents spoiled him; hers barely noticed her existence. He was a Death Eater; she joined the DA. He was left broken and regretful; her life was only just beginning. He had no hope; she was the very picture of it. They were too different, living in different worlds. They could never belong together. Not in a million years.
1. A World Apart

**Disclaimer: All characters, events, settings etc. belong to J. . This goes for the entire story.**

**A World Apart**

He grew up in a pureblood family, the only child of parents with the ability and inclination to spoil him rotten. From the age of three, he knew he was special. From the age of five, he knew that it was being a Malfoy that made him special. From the age of eight, he knew that he was better than most other people in the Wizarding World, particularly those filthy Mudbloods (though his mother had said, "Ssshhhh, Lucius, you mustn't use that kind of language in front of a child") and that he had the right to look down on them as inferior. From the age of ten he knew that Mudbloods were evil and that it was his _duty_ to look down on them. Or at least, that was what his father said, and why would his father be wrong?

_ She, too, grew up in a pureblood family, along with her older sister, Daphne. Her parent loved her, of course, but there was no disguising the fact that Daphne was their favourite. From the age of three, she knew that she would never be as pretty or as clever as Daphne. From the age of five, she knew that house elves made better companions than her parents and their pureblood friends anyway. From the age of eight, she knew that her parents wouldn't have approved of the way she saw the world, but that she couldn't help thinking they were wrong about being better than everyone else, just because they were pureblood. From the age of ten, she knew that she wasn't going to go into Slytherin, or make friends with all the "right" people, or be the perfect pureblood princess that Daphne was. And her parents wouldn't like it, but there wasn't much she could do about that was there?_

Nobody was surprised when he got to Hogwarts and went straight into Slytherin. The Hat didn't even consider any other house. Why should it? He was a Malfoy. Of course he was in Slytherin. Within weeks he had a significant crowd of followers, but no actual friends. Not that he was aware of this. As far as he was concerned, it was the same thing. The concept of friendship wasn't one he had been introduced to, but his father had a whole group of followers, so it must be what he wanted. After all, he was going to be just like his father when he grew up. He was going to work at the Ministry, and have lots of money, and lots of people would listen to him and do the things he asked them to. _Then_ maybe his father would finally be proud of him.

_Everybody was surprised when she was sorted into Ravenclaw. Everyone except Daphne, that is, who was much more perceptive than people gave her credit for, and truly did adore her sister. The Hat did consider Slytherin, but finally settled on Ravenclaw as more appropriate to her talents and general attitude to life. The Ravenclaws greeted her cautiously, having heard a lot about the Greengrass family, but within weeks she was liked by everyone in her house, who couldn't help but love her openness, generosity and enthusiastic attitude to life. Her friends consisted of a mixture of purebloods and half bloods; those from rich families and those from poorer ones; people who were considered "popular" and people who were far from it. She worked hard in all her lessons, achieving exceptional grades and winning the approval of every single one of her teachers, in the hope that one day she might still make her parents proud of her. _

By his sixth year he had accepted that his father would never be proud of him, or anything he did. It began to dawn on him that perhaps his father was the wrong person to look up to, or to seek approval from. It was too late by now, of course. His father was in Azkaban and he had to complete a task he knew, deep down, was impossible. Even should he succeed to a certain point, he knew he would never go ahead with it. Unlike his father, he wasn't a killer. He never would be. He was just a pathetic copy with no beliefs or willpower of his own. Perhaps he once had the freedom to make his own decisions, but that no longer existed. He was trapped.

_ By her fourth year, she knew she would never make her parents proud. As far as they were concerned, she was a traitor. Daphne did her best to reconcile them, but it was never going to happen. She was grateful for Daphne's support, but her parents were a lost cause. Not that it mattered now. She had more important things to worry about. A war was coming, and she would be ready when it did. She knew what side she would be fighting for. It saddened her that her parents would be fighting for the other side, and that Daphne would probably have no choice but to join them, but there was nothing she could do to change that. Somehow, the knowledge that she no longer had any obligation to any of them helped a little. She had once been constrained by the wish to please them, but that was gone now. She was free._

His seventh year was hell. When he was at school he had to watch his classmates terrorised and bullied and tortured, knowing that he had played a part in bringing it about. He was hated by everyone, and even his former followers looked down on him now, but he couldn't bring himself to care. It was impossible that anyone hated him more than he hated himself. And, difficult though his time at school was, going home was worse by far. There he lived in constant fear, slave to the slightest whim of the Dark Lord. He found himself doing terrible things, things he hated himself for, knowing that if he were braver he would stand up for what was right, but knowing too that he couldn't. He told himself he was doing it for his parents' sake – that they would be punished if he disobeyed – but the truth was that he was too scared. Too scared to do what was right; too scared to change what he had been taught to believe, even as his whole world crumbled around him.

_ Her fifth year was awful. Many of her friends – the muggleborn ones – didn't return to school at all, and those friends who were there were regularly punished and often tortured, as was she. She may have been a pureblood from the esteemed Greengrass family, but she was the rebel of the family and was treated as such. She joined the DA, naturally, and resisted the Carrows with everything she had. On joining, she was informed that there were in fact several Slytherin members, including, to her very great surprise, Daphne. Daphne had been sucking up to the Carrows since the beginning of the year, and seeming to enjoy the new regime, but apparently that was all part of her cover. Neither of them went home for the holidays. Not that her parents were actually Death Eaters, but they certainly sympathised with them, and had disowned her. She no longer cared. She had her sister, and her friends, and the DA. Somehow, even in the midst of war, her world was finally beginning to make sense._

He changed during the Battle of Hogwarts. When Harry Potter saved his life, something inside him was transformed. If this was how Potter's lot treated their enemies – a lot better than the Dark Lord treated his own followers – then this was the side he wanted to be on, for better or for worse. Not that he did any valiant fighting or anything, but nor did he fight for the Death Eaters, and when the Dark Lord called his followers back to the Forbidden Forest, he didn't go. It was a small action, one that probably didn't register with either the Dark Lord or the Hogwarts fighters, but it took every ounce of courage he had. If the Death Eaters won, he had sentenced himself to death, and that wasn't an easy thing to do.

_She came into her own during the Battle of Hogwarts. Though not much of a fighter, she darted around the castle, helping those who had been hurt to get to safety, as well as spotting younger students who had sneaked back in and sending them to safety. When the hour-long respite was called, she helped tend to those who had been injured, saving many lives that might otherwise have been lost. Few noticed her as she flitted between people, tending to wounds, casting healing spells and administering potions, but many owed her their lives by the end of that long and terrible day. The work helped her to focus, and not to feel afraid. She wasn't scared for herself so much – if she died then she died – but if the Death Eaters won, then everything that mattered to her would be destroyed, and that was a terrifying thought._

When the war was won, he breathed a sigh of relief. He didn't care what happened to him any longer, so long as he didn't have to go back to that hellish year under the rule of the Dark Lord. He expected to be thrown in Azkaban with the other Death Eaters, but to his astonishment Potter spoke up for him, asking that he and his family be pardoned. And everyone listened to Potter, the war hero. Not that it helped much really. They still had their big house and all their money, but he couldn't live there anymore. His father was angry and bitter, raging at everyone and everything, refusing to accept that he and he alone was responsible for his own downfall. They were shunned by everyone, even those he had once called friends, and he found himself living alone in a little flat just off Diagon Alley. He was empty and broken and full of regret. He had lost everything.

_ When the war was won, she didn't waste time feeling relieved. There were people to tend to and families to support. Many people stayed in Hogwarts for the next week or so, and she had to arrange places to sleep for all those who didn't have dormitories. Working together with the House Elves, who had always been friends of hers, she kept everything running smoothly. Her parents came begging for forgiveness, which she granted immediately, but she couldn't go back to living with them. Instead, she moved in with a muggleborn friend to a flat in Muggle London and began working in Flourish and Blotts, though only temporarily, she told herself, until she figured out what to do next. That was where she met Matthew. From the moment they met he flirted and complimented and pursued her until one day she agreed to go on a date with him. He was the perfect boyfriend and they made a perfect couple. He made her feel happy and carefree and beautiful, as though her life were perfect. She felt she had everything._

He never thought of her except as the girl who'd been brave enough to stand up to her stuck up, pureblood family, and to wish he could have been that courageous. As a person, however, he'd never really known her; she'd merely been Daphne's strange, Ravenclaw sister when they were at school, and not someone he would have associated with. Mostly he never thought of her at all.

_ She never thought of him except to wonder what had become of Daphne's old classmate. He had never seemed like a particularly nice person when he was at school, but she accepted that sometimes people put up a façade, and that underneath he probably hadn't been as arrogant and presumptuous as he had seemed, so when she thought of him she thought of him with pity. Mostly she never thought of him at all._

He was broken and lost, an outcast with no one to turn to. He didn't belong in the world of happy, carefree people.

_ She was content and fulfilled, with more friends than she knew what to do with. She was a world away from the rejected of society._

They could never belong together, in the same world.

_ Not in a million years. _


	2. Beginnings

**Beginnings**

Draco slipped carefully through the bar, heading for a table in the corner. Mostly he went unnoticed, though the barman saw him come in and called, "Your usual?" Draco nodded, sitting down at the table, shoulders hunched as though bracing himself against potential abuse. It wasn't so bad nowadays, although he was occasionally the recipient of verbal harassment from slightly drunk former Hogwarts students who recognised him. At least he was no longer refused service in shops or hexed by random passers-by, as in the days shortly following the end of the war.

The noise level in the pub increased suddenly as a large group of young women crowded in, laughing loudly and calling for drinks. Shrinking away automatically as he did whenever he saw people of his own age, Draco watched them furtively, picking out people he recognised from Hogwarts. Daphne Greengrass was there, chattering away to a tall brunette he didn't recognise. She'd been a friend of his once – as far as he had considered anyone a friend – but he knew better than to think she might come and speak to him. She'd joined Longbottom's lot, he'd heard, during seventh year, and would want nothing to do with a former Death Eater, no matter how close they might once have been.

Aside from Daphne, he couldn't name anyone else. He thought some of them might have been Ravenclaws, though a couple of years younger than him, and recognised a few as muggleborns from his own year he'd once tormented, but couldn't put names to them. Not the sort of group whose attention he wanted to attract, not that there was really a risk of that. They were all downing glasses of firewhisky and giggling, clearly preparing for what would be a long and raucous night.

The barman placed a large glass of firewhisky in front of Draco and he picked it up, prepared to begin the process of drinking himself into oblivion. However, a flash of blonde caught his eye and he put the glass down again, turning to see who it was who had captured his attention. He hadn't noticed her earlier because she'd been hidden in the middle of the group of girls, but she looked strangely familiar, though he couldn't place where he'd seen her before. Suddenly it hit him. She was Astoria Greengrass, Daphne's little sister, the rebellious Ravenclaw who'd become a war hero after saving so many lives during the Battle of Hogwarts.

It was strange to see her again. Daphne didn't look significantly different from school, though a little more mature, but Astoria had changed dramatically. Her wispy, blonde hair had become a thick, silky curtain that cascaded down her back. Her features had filled out and her petite frame was slim and curvy. She was laughing at something her sister had said, but there was something slightly off about the laugh. It seemed forced, as though she were putting on a show. She talked and giggled with the rest of them, but her heart obviously wasn't in it.

Finding himself captivated, Draco sat and watched the girls for the rest of the evening. Rather than knocking back endless glasses of firewhisky, he sipped slowly at the first one. For the first time in at least a year, the clock struck ten without him feeling the slightest bit drunk, which was more than he could say for Astoria and her friends. Within an hour or so they were all very tipsy, Astoria more so than the rest, and the barman was threatening to throw them out for their rowdy behaviour.

"Well we don't want to be at this stupid bar anyway," Draco heard Daphne say loudly, "Come on, let's go some place else, girls." With much hysterical laughter they all staggered out of the bar and Draco turned back to his drink. Somehow the idea of getting completely wasted just didn't appeal anymore. Something about those girls had changed his mood. Perhaps it was the reminder of how he and his mates had once laughed and messed about, and the one time they'd smuggled a barrel of firewhisky into the Slytherin common room in fifth year and all got absolutely wasted. Back then the idea of getting drunk had appealed as something fun to do with friends. He would never have imagined that one day it would be something he did alone, sitting at a table drowning himself in firewhisky until the pain and the regret and the self-hatred were gone, and all he felt was numbness. His fifteen-year-old self would have been disgusted if he could have seen where he'd be in five years time.

Feeling a little horrified at what he'd become, Draco pushed the drink away and headed for the door. Coming out into the cold, fresh air, he felt his head clear a little. It was quieter out here, less stuffy and crowded and difficult to think. Draco took a deep breath, allowing cool air to flood his lungs.

A giggle alerted him to the fact that he wasn't alone. Glancing around, he spotted a girl leaning against the wall, fluttering her eyelashes at him and smiling in the uninhibited and exaggerated fashion of someone who was so drunk they were no longer really aware of what they were doing. It was Astoria Greengrass, the beautiful blonde from earlier. She seemed to have lost her extensive group of friends, and up close he realised she was a lot drunker than he had thought previously

"Heeey, watcha up to?" she giggled, stumbling towards him and grabbing his arm in a pitiful attempt at flirting. He rolled his eyes. She wasn't the first girl to have come onto him; late at night when they were so intoxicated they had no idea who it was they were flirting with. He'd certainly never had a girl show any interest in him while sober. They might start talking to him, but the moment they heard his name they would disappear, some with a quickly thought up excuse, some less subtly. One of the promises he'd made himself was that he'd never take advantage of a girl in this state. He might be a former Death Eater, but he would never stoop that low.

"D'y'wanna come back to my place?" Astoria asked in what she clearly thought to be a seductive tone. Draco ignored her, walking away, but then a thought struck him.

"Where _is _your place?" he asked.

"Just … well it's somewhere over in … over in Muggle London …" she waved her hand vaguely in completely the opposite direction to mMuggle London, "We could just apparate over there," she said decisively, "Watcha say?"

"You're in no fit state to apparate _anywhere_," said Draco firmly, and it was true. Many a time he'd seen someone attempt to apparate while drunk, and it rarely ended well. It was one of the reasons he'd bought a flat so close to the pub. Astoria was so drunk she probably couldn't walk in a straight line, let alone apparate to a home she couldn't actually remember the location of. She'd probably kill herself if she tried.

Wondering why exactly he cared – it wasn't like he'd gone out of his way to help any of those other drunk girls – he grabbed her arm and began to steer her down the dark street, ignoring her protests that, "I'm fiiine!"

Just as they rounded the corner, she threw up violently all over herself and him, before passing out. A little relieved that he no longer had to deal with her continuous attempts at seducing him, he threw her unceremoniously over his shoulder and unlocked the door to his little flat. Once inside, he transfigured her puke-covered dress into clean pyjamas and placed her carefully in his own bed, laying the duvet over her. She could sleep it off.

Once this was done, he stripped off his own clothes and disposed of them, grabbing a blanket and a pillow out of a cupboard and making up a bed for himself on the sofa. Wondering why exactly he was doing all this for a girl he barely knew and didn't particularly care about, he curled up under the blanket and fell into the first non-alcohol-induced sleep he'd experienced in a long time.

_When Astoria woke, the first thing she noticed was the splitting headache. The second thing she noticed was that she was in a bed she didn't recognise, wearing pyjamas that definitely weren't hers. Wincing at the light that crept in through the crack in the curtains, she studied the room. It was obviously a man's room, though sparsely furnished and meticulously tidy. Oh dear. What had she done last night?_

_Trying very hard to ignore the headache that really didn't want to be ignored, Astoria tried to recall the events of last night. She had gone out with Daphne and some of the others; that much she could remember clearly. She'd drunk a lot of firewhisky, in an attempt to forget about the last couple of days. It had worked. It had given her a warm feeling, as though nothing could possibly be wrong with the world. But then everything had started to blur a little. They'd left the pub – and she said they because she was fairly sure the others had been with her at that point – but she hadn't gone on with the others to the next pub. Somehow, she'd lost them and had stumbled around a little before ending up back outside the original pub. A guy had come out and she'd … oh no. Panic flooded her. She'd started flirting with him and trying to invite him to go home with her and then he'd muttered something about going back to his place and then … then she couldn't remember anything else. But she was in a man's bed, wearing what seemed to be a man's pyjamas. It wasn't exactly hard to fill in the blanks. _

_Just as she came to this conclusion, the door swung open and someone came in. Astoria made to sit up, but the pain in her head overwhelmed her and she had to lie down again. The person approached her slowly, a sympathetic smile on his face. _

"_Here," he said softly, holding out a glass full of some pale blue liquid, "It'll help with the headache." She gulped it down gratefully and the pain vanished almost instantly. It was incredible. Daphne had always complained about there being no potion that would properly cure hangovers, but she was fairly sure Daphne had never discovered this one. It was amazing how much easier it was to concentrate now that her head wasn't throbbing agonizingly. She focused on the face of the man in front of her, needing to know who it was she had so embarrassingly thrown herself at._

_It was Draco Malfoy. She recognised him immediately, though he had changed considerably since that hellish year when she had last seen him. He no longer had a permanently terrified expression on his pale, hollowed face, but that was the only improvement as far as she could see. He was still very thin, perhaps more so than he had been previously, and his eyes held a haunted look that spoke of long nights lying awake in the dark, and long days spent trying to forget. In comparison to his tidy, well-kept bedroom, his clothes were scruffy and ill matching and his hair was tousled, as though he didn't particularly care what anyone thought of him or had no reason to go out and try to impress people. There were dark shadows under his eyes. She felt her heart go out to him, but even her pity couldn't overcome her dread that she'd done something last night she would really, really regret._

"_Last night …" she began tentatively, "What … ummm … what happened?"_

"_You were outside the pub when I came out," he began slowly, "You were … well, not exactly in a great state. You started talking about apparating back to your place, but apparating can be very dangerous when you're drunk so I brought you back here. Halfway here you passed out, so I figured I'd let you sleep it off. And here we are."_

"_So we didn't … well … we didn't … you know?" she tailed off. He shook his head. _

"_No."_

"_Thank goodness!" she breathed, then, realising that might have been a little rude, added, "Not that I wouldn't have wanted to … well what I mean is that I … I'm sure that you're a great guy and that you … it's just that I … well I haven't even done it with my boyfriend yet and I … well I wouldn't want to …" she stammered stupidly for a while, absolutely mortified that she was discussing her sex life with this guy she hadn't seen in years. He watched her silently, his face blank, waiting for her to stop._

"_You've got a boyfriend, then," he said, his voice emotionless. She supposed he was worried about some guy getting completely the wrong impression and coming round demanding to know what his girlfriend had been doing in his bed all night. She opened her mouth to tell him that Matthew wouldn't think that … and then it hit her._

"_I … I don't …"_

Relief had flooded Astoria's face when she had realised that she _hadn't _slept with him while drunk, but now Draco saw a completely different expression take its place. It was a look he recognised well, having seen it in the mirror many times: the look of someone who had managed to forget something for a while, but to whom it had all just come crashing back.

"Well I don't … no," she finished firmly, "I don't have a boyfriend." She seemed to be telling herself more than him. That explained a lot, he supposed. He had wondered what had prompted her to get quite so drunk. She didn't seem the type to do that sort of thing regularly. Not like him. But a recent break-up made sense. People did strange things when they were upset about something.

For a moment she just sat on the bed, apparently deep in thought, and then something seemed to occur to her.

"If we didn't … you know … then what happened to my clothes. Why am I in your pyjamas?"

"You threw up all over your dress, so I had to get rid of it. Don't worry, though," he reassured her, "I changed them by magic. And I can change the pyjamas into something more suitable when you leave, if you want. Or you can probably do it yourself. You'd probably rather choose what to wear. Or if you want I've probably got jeans or something that'll fit you, because I know sometimes people prefer not to wear transfigured clothes, because they don't feel so real. Or–"

Realising he was just rambling now, Draco stopped talking.

"I'll borrow some jeans, if that's okay," she said quietly.

"Of course. Just help yourself," he gestured at the wardrobe, "And the bathroom's through there, if you want to take a shower or anything," he pointed at the door that led through to the tiny bathroom, "I'll just leave you to it then." Feeling himself flush slightly, he left the room and went through to the kitchen. There wasn't very much food in. He hadn't exactly expected to be providing breakfast for someone else.

Digging around in the cupboards, he managed to find some bread that still had a couple of days before going out of date, and there was jam and butter in the fridge. He supposed that would have to do. When Astoria came through, wearing his old jeans and a baggy t-shirt he hadn't worn in a long time and towelling her hair dry, he was making toast.

"I hope you like strawberry jam," he said, smiling a little awkwardly at her and marvelling at the strangeness of the situation. He was still astonished by the fact that she hadn't run away the moment she realised who he was, or at least been very angry that he had taken her back to his house. It must seem a bit odd, after all, for someone who was practically a stranger to take a drunk girl back to their house and let her sleep in their bed. He wasn't quite sure himself why he'd done it. Why did she trust him so easily? Most people wouldn't trust him to stand near them without shooting him dirty looks every so often as though worried he might try and curse them or something equally ridiculous. And yet she believed without question that his motives in taking her back here had been entirely pure. Which they had, but most people wouldn't have believed that.

The two of them ate breakfast in silence, avoiding meeting one another's eyes as much as possible. When they had finished, Draco quickly washed up, and Astoria prepared to leave. He had left her handbag and heels by her bed, along with her wand, and she had soon fetched them and was standing awkwardly by the door. Draco dried his hands quickly and hurried over to open the door for her.

"Thanks for … for everything," she said, "I'm not sure what I'd have ended up doing if you hadn't found me outside the pub. Probably something very stupid."

"No problem," he replied airily, trying to sound as though it was nothing unusual, as though it was normal for him to help out girls he barely knew, but not quite pulling it off.

"Well I'll see you around then."

"Yeah."

"Okay, bye."

"Bye."

_Astoria walked away from the flat, glancing back once to wave at the slim figure standing in the doorway. Why did she feel a pang of regret, walking away, probably never to see this guy again? It wasn't like she'd ever known him particularly well. Perhaps it was just that he'd been so kind. Yes, she told herself, that was the only reason. And, when her heart leapt as she realised that she was wearing his clothes, and so would have to see him again, it was only because it would give her another opportunity to thank him properly. That was the only reason. Nothing else._

Draco watched her walk away, turning back to give a little wave. Why did he wish she could have stayed a little longer? Why did the flat seem a little darker now that she was gone? Perhaps it was just that it was the first proper human contact he'd had in a long time (excluding ordering drinks or going to a shop, which didn't exactly count). Yes, that was it. He should go and visit his parents. He was obviously just lonely. That was the only reason. Nothing else.


	3. Coping

**Coping**

"Draco! What are you doing here?" Narcissa Malfoy looked positively shocked when she opened her front door to find her son standing on the doorstep. Which she had every right to be, Draco supposed. He'd hardly been the most devoted son over the last year or so. Then again, why should he be? Aside from ruining his life, what had his parents ever done for him?

"I fancied some company," he said, shrugging, "But if you're busy then I can come some other time." His mother gave him a sad smile as though to say, don't be ridiculous, when are we _ever _busy? She opened her mouth, probably to ask for the real reason he was here, but then seemed to think better of it.

"Come in, darling," she said softly, holding the door open for him. He strode past her and into the main sitting room, where he spread out across one of the sofas; deliberately resting his muddy boots on the coffee table because he knew it would annoy his mother. She glanced at them when she came in, but didn't say anything, and perched nervously on the edge of a chair opposite him.

"Where's Father?" he drawled.

"He's … upstairs I think. I'll go and tell him you're here." She leapt up and scurried out of the room. Draco sighed. Why had he come here? Just because of some stupid unsettled feeling left by a girl he barely knew. It was probably just the lack of drink. He hadn't touched a drop of alcohol since that night when he'd met Astoria a week ago, and he'd been feeling strange all week. But he seriously doubted sitting here in this stupid room was going to help.

That was when he realised what room it was, and what a big mistake he'd made in coming in here. Memories came flooding back.

_A man writhing in agony before him. His hand faltering, unable to continue._

"_Draco, give Rowle another taste of our displeasure …"_

_But he can't do it. He can't carry on._

"… _do it, or feel my wrath yourself!" And then that fear, that crippling fear that takes over everything else, and he's doing it, but then he can't do it any more and the Dark Lord is yelling at him to do it but he can't, he just can't, and the Dark Lord turns his wand on him and then there's pain and the whole world is pain and he can't stand it any longer, but he must because it goes on and on and on …_

"Draco? Are you alright, darling?" Draco was snapped back into the present by his mother's voice to find himself curled up on the sofa, clutching his knees to his chest. His hands were shaking violently and he felt as though he might throw up. His mother took a step towards him, reaching out a hand reassuringly, but he pulled away from her, standing up and facing his father, who looked as cold and haughty as ever.

"How can you live here?" Draco asked quietly, "How can you live with all the ghosts and the memories and the regrets? Or do you like it? Does this house bring back _good _memories for you: memories of the good times? The good times when you got to torture people and grovel to the Dark Lord and ruin people's lives, all supposedly in the name of _protecting_ the Wizarding World. Well, I may never have been the biggest fan of muggleborns, but there's no way they could ever do as much damage to the Wizarding World as you and your stupid friends. But your time is over, so now you hide away in here, reminiscing about the past and refusing to admit that you've lost."

"Whereas you run away, because you can't face up to the fact that you're a coward who was too weak and pathetic to pick a side and stick to it." Lucius spat out the words, and Draco recoiled slightly.

"That's rich, coming from the man who has spent his life switching sides, depending on who was winning at the time," he snapped.

"Self-preservation isn't cowardice. And you'll notice that our entire family _aren't _in Azkaban right now. If I hadn't–"

"If you hadn't _what_? Begged the entire courtroom on your knees not to send you to Azkaban? Tried to blame it on everything and everyone apart from yourself? But _you _didn't achieve anything. The only reason we're all free today was Harry Potter stepping forward and asking for our release, though God knows why. And, yes, I may be a coward, but I learnt it from you. And while I would be the first to admit I'm pathetic, but I am nowhere _near _as pathetic as you." Draco spun on his heel and strode from the room. His father watched him go, face impassive, but his mother ran after him.

"Draco!" she called after him as he threw open the front door, "Draco, come back! He didn't mean it! He's just … Draco! Draco, please …" her voice faded as Draco reached the end of the driveway and disapparated. He didn't really think about where he was going, but wasn't exactly surprised when he found himself standing in front of his usual pub. After a week of being sober and miserable, he couldn't wait to drink himself into peaceful oblivion once again.

"_Are you okay, Tori?" Daphne asked with concern. Astoria blinked back tears and looked at her sister._

"_I'm fine," she said, struggling to keep her voice steady, "Definitely starting to get over him. Give me another week and he'll just be a memory. I'll have moved on completely and I'll–" she burst into tears. Her sister hugged her tight._

"_I'm – I'm so sorry, Daph," she sobbed, "I know I should just get over it, but I can't. Matthew was … I loved him so much. I thought he loved me too. I thought we had something really special and then … then it was over. And it feels like my whole world has collapsed. What should I do, Daph?"_

"_You need to get out and do something, Tori. You can't stay cooped up in this room forever. And I know your boss likes you, but she's not going to let you skip work much longer."_

"_But I can't go back there! _Matthew_ works there! I'd have to see him every day."_

"_So you're going to let him ruin your life even further by taking away your job?"_

"_I suppose not," Astoria admitted, but she didn't mean it. She only said it to please Daphne. She couldn't go back to the bookshop. She _couldn't.

"_So you'll go back to work tomorrow?" Daphne asked and Astoria nodded, unable to think of a reasonable excuse._

"_Great! I'm really proud of you, Tori." Daphne got up and left the room, smiling encouragingly at Astoria as she left. As the door snapped shut, Astoria dissolved once more into tears, guilt added to her already overwhelming feelings of grief and frustration and failure. She hated lying to Daphne, but there was nothing else she could do. She couldn't go back to work and face Matthew, but Daph would never understand. She'd always been stronger than Astoria, and she struggled to understand people who were weaker than her. While her patience was almost limitless where Astoria was concerned, she wouldn't put up with Astoria's crying and moping around forever._

_As the room began to darken with the setting of the sun, Astoria changed into her pyjamas and curled up in bed, prepared to cry herself to sleep, just as she had every day this week._

Midnight. It still wouldn't go away. The pain and the regret were there, not drowned by the firewhisky as they normally were. Why wasn't it working? Why couldn't he find that wonderful peace that normally came after a night of drinking? It just didn't seem to exist anymore. Panic overwhelmed him. He needed to drink. How else could he keep going? He just couldn't cope.

_Midnight. Didn't the tears ever run out? Wasn't there a limit to how much she could cry before there were no more tears to cry? Apparently not, since they just kept coming. And yet the crying didn't help. There had to be a better way than this. A way to find peace. A way to move on. She couldn't go on like this. She just couldn't cope. _


	4. Deciding To Change

**Deciding To Change**

"_Tori. Tori wake up. It's seven o'clock. You need to get up." Astoria stirred sleepily. Her head hurt from all that crying last night, and she had only had a couple of hours sleep at the most. Why was Daphne waking her up so early?_

"_Tori, you need to be at work in an hour. You'd better get ready." Oh yeah. That was why. She'd promised Daphne she'd go to work today. Brilliant._

_Daphne left the room, satisfied that Astoria was awake, and Astoria dragged herself out of bed and through to the bathroom, where she had a quick shower and brushed her teeth, then went back into her room to get dressed. It was seven fifteen. She needed to leave fairly soon. When she was in the flat she shared with her friends, she was only five minutes walk from the Leaky Cauldron, but since the break-up she'd been staying with Daphne, which was a bit further away. She could have apparated, she supposed, but she'd never liked apparating much. If possible, she always chose to walk._

_Then again, it wasn't like she was actually going to work. She just had to make Daphne think that she had. Running down the stairs and grabbing her handbag, she called goodbye to Daphne and left the house, making sure to walk in the direction of the Leaky Cauldron until she was out of sight of the house. Then she turned a corner at random, heading off in a completely different direction. She paid no attention to where she was going, wandering up and down any street that caught her fancy, sometimes browsing round muggle shops and occasionally trying on clothes, but never buying anything, though she did have some muggle money with her._

_The hours slipped by, though not necessarily fast. Astoria tortured herself with the same thoughts over and over again, though she didn't cry anymore. Perhaps she finally had run out of tears. It was nice not to be crying uncontrollably all the time, but this wasn't really any easier. Now she just felt empty inside, as though she didn't even have the energy to be upset anymore. Was this the first step towards moving on? Or was it simply another form of torture her heart had thought up for her?_

Draco woke up at nine feeling as though his head might explode. The firewhisky last night may not have done much for the pain in his heart, but it was having all the usual effects on his body. Groaning, he groped around in his drawer for the hangover cure and swallowed it eagerly, feeling its usual relief spread through his body. Resolving to stop drinking, Draco rolled out of bed and pulled on the first clothes that came to hand.

Unable to face eating breakfast and feeling a little nauseous, Draco decided to go for a walk. As he stepped out of the flat into the fresh air, a group of kids walked past. They must have been fourteen or fifteen – so old enough to have been at Hogwarts the year of the Dark Lord's reign – and when they saw him they all glared and walked away, muttering to one another. He sighed and headed for Diagon Alley, and then out through the Leaky Cauldron into Muggle London.

Before leaving Hogwarts, Draco had never been in Muggle London very much. His father hadn't liked mixing with muggles, so they'd avoided it whenever possible. Since the Battle of Hogwarts, however, Draco had spent a lot of time here. Among muggles he was anonymous. They didn't glare or mutter or shout insults, nor did they refuse him service in shops and cafes. Here he was just another face in a crowd full of faces, no better or worse than anyone else. It was heaven.

For a long time he just walked, caring little about where he went. Over the last couple of years he had learnt a lot about London, and he was fairly sure he could find his way back from just about anywhere. And if not, it didn't matter. He could just apparate.

Around lunchtime, Draco was about to duck into a café and get some lunch when he spotted a familiar figure at the other end of the street. What was _she _doing here?

On an impulse, Draco jogged down the street, calling her name as he came within a few metres of her. She looked up in surprise and for a moment he regretted it, thinking she might not particularly want to see him again. Then her face broke into a smile.

"Draco! It's great to see you again. How are you?"

"_Oh, I'm fine," he replied, but he clearly wasn't. He was very pale and looked exhausted, as though he hadn't slept properly in a while. He looked at her apprehensively; like he was worried she might attack him. He looked at most people like that, she had noticed. Like he was scared of the whole world. Someone must have hurt him a lot to make him look like that._

"_How are you?" he asked, returning her question._

"Fine. I'm fine," she told him, but nothing could have been further from the truth. Her eyes were red like she'd been crying a lot, and her cheeks were pale. There was something empty and resigned about her expression, as though she'd given up on being happy. For a moment, when she'd smiled, her face had been utterly transformed, but then the smile faded and her face fell back into that melancholy expression, like there was nothing in the world worth smiling for anymore. That ex-boyfriend must have hurt her a lot to make her look like that.

"_Do you want to go and get lunch?" he asked, offering his arm in the gentlemanly way that all pureblood boys were taught. She smiled and took it._

"_I'd love to." He led her down the street and into a little café, where he pulled out her chair for her, waiting for her to sit down before he did. She couldn't help but grin at his manners. They were out-dated of course, like most of the traditions followed by the old pureblood families, but they were sweet too. He ordered for her, insisting that she would absolutely love the house special and she didn't protest, knowing that his taste was probably very good. _

"_Thank you again," she said once the waiter had left the table, "for helping me out that night. It's a little embarrassing really. I wouldn't normally do something like that. It's completely out of character for me. I just …" she tailed off, unable to find the right words, but Draco seemed to know._

"_You were upset," he said quietly, "You didn't think you could bear all the pain that you were holding inside, so you had one drink and that seemed to numb the pain a little, so that you could stand it a little better. And then you had another one and another, until you could forget everything and it didn't hurt anymore. But then you woke up in the morning and it all came back again, because nothing can make it go away forever."_

_Astoria didn't reply. She was a little stunned. He had described it perfectly, as though he had experienced it himself. Which he probably had, she supposed. What else would he have been doing in the pub if not drinking, and why else would he have a hangover cure in his house? It had been naïve of her not to realise._

"_Do you … do you get drunk a lot?" she asked tentatively, aware that it wasn't exactly a polite question, but needing to know. _

"_Most nights," he replied, his voice even, but watching her carefully, probably waiting for signs of repulsion and disgust. She felt as though she ought to be disgusted, but she wasn't. All she felt was a deep sadness. She had never thought of Draco Malfoy as a very nice person, but he didn't deserve this. Daph had been friends with him for years, and to see one of her classmates reduced to _this _was almost unbearable._

"_Why?" she couldn't help but ask._

"_Being alive hurts," he said simply, "And when I drink it doesn't hurt so much."_

"_Oh." She didn't know what to say to that. "What do your parents think about it? And your friends?" He gave her a pitying look._

"_I don't have _friends, _Astoria," he told her, "Nobody wants anything to do with me, and who can blame them? And I don't really see my parents much anymore." No friends? None at all? That was awful, though perhaps it shouldn't have been a surprise. But to have no friends to support you was terrible. Astoria didn't know what she'd have done without her friends and Daphne over the last week or so._

"_But why don't you see your parents?" she asked, "Surely the three of you should stick together? That's what families are for."_

"_Why would I want to see them? They dragged me into something I never wanted to be a part of, and my father spent my entire childhood bullying me and making it very clear that I never ever lived up to his expectations. And why would they want to see me? I disappointed them both by not being a coldblooded murderer who was willing to …"_

"_They love you, Draco."_

"… _torture and kidnap and murder all in the name of– what did you just say?"_

"_They love you."_

"_Don't be ridiculous. My parents don't _love _people. They would never do something so muggle-like." He spat out the words, making it quite clear what he thought of his parents' beliefs. The venom in his voice was surprising, and a little alarming. He truly did hate them._

"_You didn't see them at the Battle of Hogwarts, did you?" _

"_What do you mean?"_

"_At the very end. They were running through the fighters, screaming for you. They clearly couldn't have cared less who won, so long as you were okay. I saw a killing curse miss your mum by about a millimetre and she didn't even bat an eyelid. She just carried on yelling your name."_

_Draco was clearly speechless. He gaped at Astoria._

"_But they don't … they've never … I thought they didn't give a damn about me … they always … I always thought …" he stuttered to a stop._

"_I'm not saying they were the ideal parents," Astoria said, unwilling to defend Lucius Malfoy – whom she had always despised – any more than absolutely necessary, "but perhaps you should give them another chance." Draco looked at her for a long moment. He seemed to be battling within himself, but when he finished there was a light in his eyes, like he'd discovered something he'd long ago given up for lost. Hope, perhaps. She knew before he said it what decision he'd made._

"_Yes," he said firmly, "Perhaps I should. Thank you, Astoria."_

_She wanted to say that it was the least she could do after what he'd done for her. She wanted to say that there was no need to thank her, that it was a pleasure to be able to restore a little hope to his eyes. She wanted to say that if there was anything else she could do to help, anything at all, then he only needed to ask. Something about this sad, broken man evoked an instinct in her that made her want to reach out and help him, but she didn't quite know how. Of course, she didn't tell him any of this._

"_No problem," she said airily, "Anytime."_

"Right," said Draco determinedly, "Your turn. I think it's fairly obvious what's wrong with me, but why were _you _drinking yourself into oblivion? Something to do with a boyfriend, I presume." He saw her flinch at the word boyfriend, and almost regretted bringing it up, but she clearly needed to talk about it.

"Yeah," she said softly, less confident now that they were talking about her, "It was to do with a boyfriend."

"Tell me." Astoria was silent for a minute, obviously searching for the right words.

"His name is Matthew. I work at Flourish and Blotts, and that's where I met him. He was so incredibly charming and sweet and he chased me for weeks. I ignored him at first because I didn't think I was ready for a relationship at the time, but he just wouldn't give up, and eventually I gave up and went out with him. He was so different to the idiots I'd occasionally dated while I was at school. He was mature and thoughtful and he made me laugh. I began to fall in love with him. I honestly thought we would spend the rest of our lives together. We'd been together for almost two years, and were even talking about getting engaged. Then one day, out of the blue, he suddenly announced that he was in love with someone else, who he'd been seeing behind my back for the last few months, and that he was leaving me for her. I was … absolutely heartbroken … and I haven't seen him since."

"But that was over a week ago, wasn't it? Surely you've seen him at work?"

"I haven't been to work," she said ashamedly, "I haven't been able to face him."

"Why not? _You've _got nothing to be ashamed of. _He _should be avoiding _you._" Draco found himself talking fiercely. This girl had evoked an emotion in him he hadn't felt in a long time. Anger. Not towards her, of course, but towards the jerk who had broken her heart.

"Well … yes, but … I just …"

"But nothing! The guy's clearly an idiot. The most beautiful girl in London is in love with him and he decides to throw that away. Obviously he doesn't deserve you." She looked surprised at this way of looking at it. He couldn't believe he'd been the first to tell her this. Surely her sister and all those friends of hers had told her that Matthew wasn't good enough for her? Wasn't that what friends normally told people who'd been dumped?

"Yeah … I suppose," she paused, and then continued more confidently, "You're right. Matthew's not worth my time. It's time I stopped crying over him. Thanks, Drake."

Drake. She had called him Drake. She said it carelessly, not really thinking, but it surprised him. No one had ever called him Drake before. He liked it. It made him sound like a different person, someone carefree and ordinary and blameless. Someone who still had a life ahead of them. Someone with friends to give him the nickname in the first place.

"So tell me about working at Flourish and Blotts," he said, deciding it was time to move to a lighter topic of conversation. She chattered away enthusiastically, telling funny stories about some of the customers she'd served and the strange things she'd had to do. Draco found himself laughing harder than he had in a long time, or perhaps ever. He loved watching the way her face lit up when she was telling a story, and the funny expressions she pulled as she imitated irritable or eccentric or demanding customers. To listen to her, you would think every single day of work was a fantastic adventure, though he knew it couldn't possibly actually be like that. Some days _must_ be mundane and boring. She didn't make it sound like that, though. To her, the world was there purely for her amusement, and life was something to be enjoyed. He'd never seen it like that before.

_He didn't talk very much. Mostly he just sat and listened, but not in a way that made her feel like she was monopolising the conversation. It was clear that he liked to listen, and the longer she talked the more relaxed she felt with him. She loved to see the way his eyes sparkled when he laughed, and found herself thinking of more and more funny stories, just so she could be the one to banish that permanently haunted expression from his face, even if only for a moment._

_They talked for hours. When they had finished eating, they left the café and wandered aimlessly around London, talking and talking and talking. When she had finally run out of funny work stories, they exchanged stories about their time at Hogwarts, though they steered clear of any talk of Voldemort and the Death Eaters, chatting instead about their earlier years, when everything was easier. He had some highly amusing tales about the Slytherin Common Room, some of which she resolved to remember and use against Daphne if it was ever necessary, because Daph had done some rather embarrassing things in her first couple of years at Hogwarts. _

_Daphne wasn't the only one who'd been a part of many embarrassing incidents. Draco didn't shy away from telling stories about himself. Most involved Harry Potter and his friends, with whom Draco had apparently had some longstanding enmity. Most of the arguments and fights seemed a little ridiculous to Astoria, but she admired that he wasn't afraid to laugh at himself. She'd never met a guy before who was so willing to admit he'd been an idiot. Matthew had always been inclined to get very defensive when people made fun of him, and she didn't think she'd ever heard him voluntarily tell a story that showed him in a bad light. _

"_Don't you ever feel any sort of grudge towards Harry?" she asked at the end of a particularly bizarre story about mud flying out of the air, "Clearly it wasn't _all _your fault. It takes two to keep up that sort of hostility for that long."_

"_Nah," he shrugged, "Not really. I deserved most of it."_

"_But you used to hate him. Surely you can't have changed that much without a proper reason?" Draco took a deep breath._

"_You're right. I guess I would still hate him except that … well … I can't hold a grudge against a man who saved my life."_

"_Saved your life?" This was a story Astoria hadn't heard before._

"_Yeah, during the Battle of Hogwarts …" Draco talked for the next ten minutes, telling the story. This one clearly didn't come as easily as the funny stories that had gone before it. When he had finished there was silence for a couple of minutes as they just walked, both deep in thought._

"_I've never told anyone about that before," Draco said at last, "But it completely changed my perspective. The whole year I'd been starting to realise that I'd picked the wrong side, but it was when Harry saved me that I decided I couldn't be a Death Eater any longer. Not that I exactly got a chance to prove that, and I didn't go charging through the battle fighting heroically, but if the Dark Lord had won then I would have chosen to die with the fighters of Hogwarts. My loyalty was with them, though it took me long enough to realise, didn't it?" He stared at the ground. Astoria stopped walking and turned to face him._

"_The time doesn't matter," she said gently, taking his hands, "What matters is that you _did _realise."_

"_Yeah," he replied, but not as though he believed it. She didn't push it. Not yet._

_Glancing at her watch, Astoria suddenly realised it was five o'clock. They'd been out for hours! Her shift at work would have finished an hour and a half ago. She'd have to tell Daph that she'd gone out with friends afterwards, or something like that._

"_I've got to go," she said._

"_Of course." Had she imagined it, or did his face fall ever so slightly?_

"_Thanks for lunch. And for the advice. I had a great day." She meant it._

"_Yeah, me too."_

"See you around," Astoria called over her shoulder as she walked away. See you around. Better than goodbye. See you around meant he might see her again. She was good for him. As he walked home, he felt something inside him he hadn't felt in a long time. Some kind of hope. A purpose, even. For the first time he realised that his life didn't have to be like this. He didn't _have _to spend every night drinking and every day hating himself. He did it all voluntarily, and he could stop anytime he wanted.

When Draco arrived, he went straight to his room and retrieved the hangover potion, which he flung out of the window, watching it smash on the concrete below. He wouldn't be needing that anymore. He was choosing to alter the way he lived. Deciding to change.

"_Good day, Astoria?" Daphne asked as she came in._

"_Wonderful," she replied simply, realising as she said it that it was the truth. How strange. She'd never have guessed this morning that the day was going to be one she could describe as wonderful._

"_Well that's good," said Daphne, a dangerous edge in her voice, "Because I thought I'd pick you up from work today, and I arrived at the shop ten minutes early, but you weren't there. Isn't that odd? And, stranger still, your boss said she hadn't seen you all day. Now why would she say that, I wonder, when you promised me you would go to work today?"_

"_Sorry, Daph," Astoria said cheerfully, "I shouldn't have lied to you. But I'm going in tomorrow, I promise."_

"_Hmmm, somehow I don't entirely believe you. Unfortunately, I have to be at work tomorrow morning, or I would escort you to the shop myself, but rest assured that I _will _be picking you up at the end of the day. And if you're not there …"_

"_Yeah, yeah, you'll murder me in some gruesome and horrific way. Don't worry, Daph, I'm not hiding at home anymore. If Matthew thinks he can scare me into giving up the job I love then he's got another thought coming!" Laughing at Daphne's slightly stunned expression, Astoria flew up the stairs to her bedroom, where she lay on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. She was elated. She no longer had to lie around crying all day. She'd never _had _to in the first place. It had been entirely her own choice, and now she was choosing differently. Deciding to change. _


	5. Everything Worth Living For

**Everything Worth Living For**

"_It's great to see you back," Astoria's manager, Helen, said as she came in._

"_It's great to be back," replied Astoria, and she meant it. Breathing in the familiar smell of books, she remembered why she loved working here so much, and couldn't understand why she hadn't come back sooner. She always felt so safe here, so peaceful. Greeting her work colleagues cheerfully, she began to sort out a big pile of books that sat by the back entrance, knowing almost instantly where everything went._

"_Do we have any books on the origins of the very first runes used in magic?" one of the shop assistants, Mike, asked her, "Some stuffy old guy was in asking about it yesterday and I told him if he came back today I'd try and sort it out for him, but I honestly have no idea where to look. I don't think we have any on display, but I figured if anyone would know it'd be you." Astoria thought for a moment._

"_Storage room three," she said after a second, "Second shelf from the bottom, probably over on the left somewhere. There should be a couple of different ones, but the best is probably the one with the dark blue cover. "Ancient Runes And Their Early Uses" I think it's called." Mike grinned._

"_What did we ever do without you?" he asked. Astoria smiled. It was nice to feel valued, nice to know you were needed._

_At nine the shop opened. There was a steady stream of customers for the first hour or so. Astoria and Mike flitted around the shop, dealing with enquiries and finding some of the more obscure books that people requested, while Mike's girlfriend Sally and Astoria's friend and flatmate Katherine worked the tills. _

_Falling easily back into her usual habits, Astoria began to relax. What had she been so worried about? This was easy. Not scary at all._

_And then Matthew walked in._

"Draco?" If Narcissa had looked shocked when she saw her son on her doorstep two days ago, it was nothing to how she looked now.

"Mother. May I come in?"

"I … of course. Yes, come in." She led the way through to one of the smaller sitting rooms. They never used to use this one very much, but that was a good thing. Fewer memories in here.

"Should I … should I go and fetch your father?" Draco's mother asked nervously, and for the first time it struck him just how scared she always seemed to be of him now. That wasn't right. What sort of person had he become, that his own mother was scared of him? What sort of _family _had they become?

"No," he decided, "Not yet. I want to talk to you, Mother."

"Okay." She had been hovering anxiously by the door but now she sat down.

"I …" Draco took a deep breath, "I want to apologise. I've been behaving pretty badly since the War ended, and you didn't deserve that. And I shouldn't have yelled like that the other day, when I came to visit. I've been a fairly terrible son over the last couple of years and I'm sorry." There was a long silence. His mother didn't seem to know what to say. Suddenly she started crying. Horrified, Draco walked over to sit beside her, putting his arm awkwardly around her shoulder. She leant into him and sobbed, her shoulders shaking violently.

"S-sorry," she stammered eventually as the sobs subsided, "I didn't mean to … it's just that … I've been so worried about you and I felt so guilty …"

"It wasn't your fault," Draco said softly, more to stop her crying than because he actually meant it.

"But I should never have allowed your father to push you into things I knew you didn't really want to do. It was all very well for _me _to be dragged into all that Death Eater stuff – I knew what I was getting myself into when I married your father – but you should have had a choice. I'm so sorry, Draco. Do you think you can ever forgive me?" She looked up at him through tear-speckled eyelashes, and he felt his heart soften.

"Yes, I forgive you," he said, finding to his great surprise that it was completely true. That hard knot of anger inside him had dissolved, making way for a hollow sort of emptiness. He felt deflated, defeated. There was no one to blame anymore. No one but himself. Only he was responsible for his own actions, and only he should bear the consequences.

"Draco?" Lucius' cold voice broke into his thoughts, "What are you doing back here again?" His father sounded defensive, as though he were preparing for another fight.

"I came to apologise for the way I behaved the other day," Draco said a little stiffly, finding the words came less naturally when he was talking to his father, "And I …" he paused, uncertain as to how his father would react to his next statement, "I came to say that I forgive you and Mother for … for everything."

His father's mouth flew open, presumably to deny that he needed forgiveness for anything, but he stopped as Narcissa got up and laid a gentle hand on his arm. He took a deep breath.

"Thank you," he said slowly, "And I'm sorry for everything we put you through." The words were forced, and Draco got the impression he wouldn't be saying them at all if his mother hadn't talked him into it, but it was the best he could hope for. It would be a long time before the wounds would heal, and perhaps they would never be a perfect family, but this was the first step.

As he left, Draco's mother showered him with hugs and entreaties to take care of himself properly and come and visit again as soon as possible. Draco and his father didn't hug. He couldn't remember the last time they had. Probably not since he'd been five or six. They merely exchanged curt nods and very formal goodbyes. Draco could see his mother watching with exasperation, but she didn't say anything. Eventually the goodbyes were over and he walked down the driveway, away from all that had held him prisoner over the last five or six years of his life.

_The moment she saw Matthew, Astoria dropped the pile of books she'd been holding and had to bend over to gather them up again. When she straightened up, it was to a very tense silence. Matthew was staring at her, very pale, and everybody else had stopped what they were doing to watch the pair. _

"_A-Astoria," Matthew stammered, "I didn't know you were going to be here today." _

_Taking a deep breath, Astoria recalled Draco's words from the day before. _You've _got nothing to be ashamed of, he had said, _He _should be avoiding _you_. Drawing herself up to her full height, she looked Matthew straight in the eye._

"_I don't know if you'd noticed," she said icily, "But I _work _here. Why _shouldn't _I be here today?"_

"_Exactly," Mike agreed firmly, coming to sling an arm around Astoria's shoulders supportively, "Tori belongs here."_

"_And just because you've decided to ditch her for some slut doesn't mean the rest of us don't value her," Sally said, walking over to join them._

"_But I'm sure if you're not comfortable working with her then Helen could arrange something," Katherine piped up from the corner, where she'd been sorting out Potions books. _

"_What can I arrange?" Helen asked, popping her head around the door from one of the storerooms._

"_Matthew doesn't seem very keen on working at the same time as Tori, but we said you could probably sort something out, couldn't you?" Katherine explained. _

"_Oh, hello Matthew," Helen said absently, seeming to notice him for the first time, "Well, I suppose I could try and figure something out, though it might be a bit tricky. We need Tori here during all the really busy times, because we really can't manage without her expertise. You finish work at half three, don't you Astoria? And you don't work weekends. So Matthew could do the evening shift, and Saturday and Sunday. That's okay, isn't it Matthew?"_

_She smiled sweetly at Matthew, but the steely glint in her eye made it very clear that it would _have _to be okay, if he wanted to keep his job, anyway. _

_Matthew gulped._

"_Um … yeah, that's fine. I'll … I'll be back at four then, shall I?"_

"_Great. We'll see you later then, Matthew," Helen said brightly, waving cheerfully as he turned and left the shop. _

"_Are you sure you don't mind doing that?" Astoria asked nervously once he had left, "I mean, most of you were friends with Matthew before you knew me."_

"_Don't be silly, Tori," Sally said, hugging her, "We're all on your side. Matthew's a jerk. Isn't that right, everyone?" Katherine and Mike nodded their agreement._

"_We certainly are," Helen said firmly, "But I'd have made that decision regardless. You're the more valuable employee and I need you here as much as possible. Matthew may be charming and have a way with customers, but you're different. I don't think I've ever met someone with such and excellent memory and instinctive knowledge of books before. I really can't do with you."_

"_And besides," said Katherine, "You're a million times nicer than Matthew."_

"_Thanks, guys," Astoria said warmly, feeling a rush of affection for her friends._

"_Yes, well that's quite enough drama for one day," Helen said briskly, "Back to work everyone! It's starting to get quite busy out in the street, so we're bound to get a rush of customers fairly soon."_

_Helen was right. The next few hours were fairly frantic, with everyone having to work non-stop to get all the customers served. At around twelve, the business died down a little as people took a break from shopping to get lunch. Sally and Mike were just about to take their lunch break, leaving Astoria and Katherine – who would take their break a little later – to mind the shop, when the bell tinkled. Astoria glanced up, fixing on her sweet and charming "how can I help you" smile, but it wasn't a customer._

_It was Draco Malfoy._

_"Drake!" Astoria exclaimed, her face breaking into a genuine smile, "What are you doing here?"_

"_Well you said you were planning to come back to work today, so I figured I'd come and find out if it's going okay." He smiled a little nervously and she grinned back, touched by his thoughtfulness. _

"_It's going very well, actually," she told him, "Certainly a lot better than sitting around at home feeling sorry for myself. I'm so glad I listened to you." _

"_I'm glad I listened to you too," he said, "I went to talk to my parents today."_

_"That's great," Astoria was thrilled, if a little surprised, that her advice had been taken so seriously, "How did it go?"_

"_It was–" Draco began, before seeming to notice the three curious pairs of eyes that were watching them curiously, as well as a couple of customers who had looked up from their browsing to watch this new arrival._

"_You can tell me about it later," Astoria decided, lowering her voice a little, "How about I introduce you to my friends first?"_

From the moment he stepped into the shop, it was clear to Draco that he wasn't welcome here. Astoria's three friends greeted him very coldly, and he got the impression that if he hadn't been Astoria's friend they would have insisted he leave the shop immediately. The few customers who were in there _did _leave the shop as soon as they realised that he was staying.

Astoria, however, seemed completely oblivious. She chattered away brightly, introducing him to her friends and inviting him to hang around for an hour until she took her lunch break.

"Unless you're busy, of course?" she asked, "I just thought it might be nice to go and grab lunch together and you can tell me about how it went with your parents."

"I … well I'd love to but …" he grabbed her arm and steered her away from the others, lowering his voice, "Astoria, you're friends don't exactly like me. I'm not sure they'd be too keen on me hanging around. And I'm not exactly helping business in the shop."

"Nonsense!" she exclaimed with an innocence that was charming, if a little naïve, "Why should anyone mind you being here?" Draco sighed, a little exasperated.

"Astoria," he said with exaggerated patience, "I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm not exactly Harry "Boy-Who-Lived" Potter. People don't really like me." She looked up from the pile of books she was sorting and the hard set of her jaw and determination in her eyes made it clear she wasn't as naïve as he had presumed her to be.

"Sally and Mike are about to go out for lunch anyway," she said, "And Katherine will accept anyone who's a friend of mine. And as for the business, if a customer's so narrow minded and prejudiced that they'd leave the shop just because you're here, then they're not a customer we want to have anyway." He opened his mouth to protest, but she cut him off.

"And if my manager doesn't agree with me, then she'll have to decide how much she values me as an employee. Either you stay, or I walk out and don't come back. And somehow I don't think she'd want that. She needs me here."

She said it lightly, and he was struck by the ease with which she promised to leave a job she loved so much, just for him. He had no doubt she'd follow through with the promise if required, and yet she didn't even seem to think it a great sacrifice in comparison to her friend being ill-treated. Not that he thought it was him particularly; he got the impression she would make the same sacrifice for anyone she considered a friend, and not even think twice about it. Having been brought up among Slytherins, who would only ever do something like that for someone very, very important to them, and even then only after great consideration, he had never encountered someone like this before. He supposed Potter had come back to save his life, even after everything he'd done, but that wasn't quite that same. He was perfectly sure that Potter, and all of his friends, would quite happily have seen him thrown out of the shop, or perhaps even been the ones doing the throwing.

"Thanks," he said after a moment, the casual reply seeming to fail utterly to convey his gratitude at what she'd said, but being the only thing that could reasonably match her careless, light hearted tone.

"No problem. Don't think you're just going to get to sit around and do nothing for an hour though." She dumped a large pile of books in his arms. "Take those and follow me. We're taking them through to the storeroom."

Over the next hour, Draco learned a great deal about books he hadn't known before. Astoria taught him all about the system used to categorise books, and how to find a book for a customer, even if you'd never heard of it before. He mainly carried books around for her, and did a little sorting, but he learned a great deal more simply by watching her. She flitted easily from customer to customer, chatting lightly even as she searched for the most obscure of books, and patiently directing people towards the correct section. She had a way with people. Even the grumpiest, moodiest and most tired of customers would relent and smile at her constant chatter, silly jokes and casual flattery. He could never be like that. Never.

_Draco was very quiet during his hour spent at the bookshop. He was very helpful, performing any task she asked him to and even seeming to predict what she needed him to do before she asked, but he shrank away from contact with any other people. He seemed to fade into the background whenever a customer walked in, doing his best not to be noticed and slipping away into a storeroom if they showed any sign of recognising him. She wished she could tell him to stop being so scared of people, that they weren't all out to hurt him, but somehow she knew it wouldn't make a difference._

_When Mike and Sally got back, she grabbed Draco's hand and dragged him off to a little café where she often spent her lunch break. She knew the owner, and knew he wouldn't make a fuss about Draco being there, like many people probably would. She told him all about the confrontation with Matthew earlier, and he in turn told her about going to see his parents. Although she'd hardly known him for very long at all, she felt a warm swell of pride in him when he talked about apologising to his mother, and finally finding it in him to forgive them both. She'd often heard it said that this boy was pathetic and a coward, but the longer she knew him the more she began to doubt that there was any truth in these accusations. Perhaps he wasn't a hero and perhaps he hadn't stood up to Voldemort, but she knew the sort of strength it took to admit that you were wrong and to apologise to someone, and anyone who could manage that was anything but cowardly._

_He affected her deeply, this sad, broken boy with so much fear and regret in his eyes. She pitied him, but pity wasn't all she felt. He had helped her, not only when he took care of her that night when she was stupidly drunk, but also with the advice he had given her yesterday in Muggle London. He had helped her see that losing Matthew wasn't the end of the world, and that she had so much more in her life that made it worthwhile. For a little while she had been so devastated by the breakup that she'd forgotten about all the other wonderful things in her life, but he had reminded her of them, had reminded her of everything still worth living for._

She was a good listener, this strange, incredible girl who treated him as a friend and wasn't ashamed to be seen with him. She listened as though she cared, and as though she could see through the words themselves to their real meaning. She gave him hope that one day he might have a life worth living. For years he had thought his problems too big and too insurmountable to ever be dealt with, but she had helped to put it all into perspective. She had reminded him of the few things that truly did matter to him, the few things worth living for.


	6. For A Friend

**For A Friend**

Over the next few weeks, Draco changed. He visited his parents two or three times a week. His father had taken to shutting himself away in his study and speaking to no one, so it was mainly his mother he went to see. Their relationship was improving, and he found himself actually enjoying her company for the first time since he was very little.

In addition to this, he began to look for a job. While it was true that he _could _quite easily live on the family money indefinitely, it didn't feel right. It was time he did something for himself. It would be nice not to have to depend on his parents anymore.

Finding a job wasn't exactly easy, however. While he had excellent grades from school, and was willing to apply for just about any job, he had yet to find an employer who didn't take one look at him and refuse point blank to even give him an interview.

Astoria was very supportive of his attempts to find employment. They met up for lunch a couple of times a week (though he still wasn't entirely sure how this arrangement had come about; they had just started doing it) and she was always optimistic and encouraging, even when he was just about ready to give up.

"What sort of job would you _like_?" she asked him one day, "If you could have any job at all? What job did you want to have back when you were still at school?" This didn't really help. Now he thought about, he wasn't really sure what he had wanted to do when he left school. He had just assumed he would end up at the Ministry, like his dad had expected him to. What he _wanted _had nothing to do with it.

"What does it matter?" he asked Astoria, "I'm never going to get _any _job at this rate. No one wants to employ me, and who can blame them? I'm hardly an ideal employee." They had this conversation at least nine or ten times, and normally Astoria would shake her head sadly, clearly disagreeing with him but not knowing how to counter his argument. This time, however, her face lit up.

"I've got an idea!" she exclaimed. A little worried, Draco pressed her for details, but she wouldn't say anything more, instead embarking on a story about some party she had once gone to with her friends. He noticed that she still avoided saying Matthew's name, and could always tell when she had come close to it by the slight drop in her usually bright tone, but she was obviously managing to move on, and from the stories she told she clearly had hundreds of other friends. Sometimes he wondered why she bothered spending time with him at all, and often worried that it was just because she felt sorry for him. He didn't want to be the object of her pity.

When he asked her as much, she looked at him a little strangely, as though she had never had someone question _why _she was their friend before.

"I don't know," she said slowly, "I guess I just like your company. You're an interesting person to be around, Drake."

He was sure he must have given her a rather strange look then. Nobody had ever _enjoyed _his company before, except perhaps his mother. It wouldn't last, though. She'd realise what he was, soon enough, and then she'd disappear, leaving him along again. He ought to be used to it, ought to know not to become accustomed to having Astoria around, but somehow he couldn't help himself.

_He always looked so sad and uncertain, like he couldn't believe she was actually bothering with him, and was just waiting for her to get up and leave. She wouldn't though. He might be the most difficult friend she'd ever had, but he was her friend and that meant something, even if he didn't realise it yet._

_She really thought getting a job would do something to help him gain self-confidence, and she really had thought of an idea to make that happen. Immediately after work, she hurried round to the Leaky Cauldron._

"_Hannah!" she called, sliding into the busy pub and hugging her friend, who looked a little stressed and was yelling at one of the waiters to get a move on with the drinks for table two._

"_Hello, Astoria. It's lovely to see you. Danny! Stop standing around doing nothing and deal with that order! Sorry, Tori. Come through here and we can talk in a minute. Neville! Has anyone seen Neville? Just a sec, Tori. Where _is_ that husband of mine? Neville! Oh there you are. Neville, Tori and I are going through to one of the private parlours to chat; can you look after the bar for me for a few minutes? Thanks, sweetie." Hannah led the way through to another room, looking a little flustered._

"_Sorry about that, Tori. It's just been so stressful the last couple of weeks. One of our waiters quit, and it's a nightmare trying to find a new one so we're having to make do with less at the moment, but it means twice as much work for the rest of us. Honestly, sometimes I wonder why I don't just sell the pub and get myself a nice, relaxing job." Astoria grinned. She knew Hannah would never sell the pub. She loved it too much, in spite of anything she might say. Sometimes she envied Hannah a little. People had thought it was odd when Hannah and Neville got married aged only nineteen but, like the pub, Neville was perfect for Hannah. The two of them had a kind of happiness Astoria had never seen in anyone else._

"_Funnily enough," she said, remembering why she had come, "It's a job that I came to talk to you about."_

"_A job?" Hannah seemed perplexed, "But you love your job, Tori. Why would you want to be a waitress?" Astoria laughed._

"_It's not for me," she explained, "I'm asking for a friend. He's been struggling to get a job, and he's a very hardworking person. I know he'd be great for this. I'm sure he wouldn't object to working strange hours if you needed him to. I think he'd be perfect for the job."_

"_Alright then," Hannah agreed, "Bring him for an interview sometime on Saturday, and I'll see what I think."_

"_Thanks Hannah." The two women got up to leave, just as Neville walked in._

"_It's calmed down a bit out there," he told Hannah, then turned to Astoria, "Leaving already, Astoria?"_

"_Astoria reckons she's found someone to fill our empty waiter's job," Hannah told him, "Apparently he's hardworking and willing to work any hours, and Tori thinks he'll be perfect."_

"_Sounds brilliant," said Neville, slinging an arm around his wife's shoulders, "What's the name of this incredible person?" Astoria took a deep breath, knowing this might not go down well, but doing her best to speak carelessly._

"_Draco Malfoy."_

"What happened, Draco?" Mother asked one day.

"What do you mean?"

"What happened to make you change? Don't get me wrong; I'm absolutely thrilled that you're happier again, and that you're coming to visit us again and everything, but I just don't understand what caused it. It happened so suddenly."

"I …" Draco paused, debating whether to tell her about Astoria. He decided not to. She'd just read too much into it, and make out that the two of them were in love or something, rather than just friends.

"I just realised I wasn't getting anywhere," he said, which was partly true, "I realised I couldn't spend the rest of my life like that, so I changed. That's all there is to it."

"Hmmm." She looked unconvinced, but obviously decided not to press the matter.

Later that day, Draco began to question what exactly he and Astoria _were_. Obviously not in love. But she wasn't exactly like any friend he'd had before either. Then again, perhaps his friends hadn't really been _friends_. More like followers, really. Sure, he'd been devastated when Crabbe had been killed, but more because he'd felt responsible than because he'd really been close to the thuggish, dull-witted boy. It was impossible to truly be friends with someone you felt so superior to. And Goyle had turned against him after that, blaming him for Crabbe's death and their failure to capture Harry Potter, and then running off to fight with the Death Eaters.

So _was_ he friends with Astoria Greengrass? It was hard to tell really. Could two such different people be friends? She was so beautiful and perfect and good and he was … not. Then again, she wasn't completely perfect, and it was her moment of weakness that had brought them together. She knew what it was like to drink yourself into oblivion in the hope of forgetting something, and that meant they had at least one thing in common.

So they were friends. For the first time in his life he had an actual friend. He knew he ought to be thrilled about that. He _was _thrilled about it. It was wonderful. So why did he feel slightly – just slightly – disappointed? Why did he find himself adding a word in, saying they were _just _friends? After all, it's not like he could ever hope for them to be _more _than friends. Could he?

"_Draco Malfoy?" Hannah repeated incredulously, "You want us to hire _Draco Malfoy_?"_

"_At least give him a chance, Hannah," Astoria pleaded, "You haven't even given him an interview yet."_

"_I don't need to," Hannah snapped, "I went to school with him for seven years. What more do I need to know about him?"_

"_That he's changed."_

"_Yeah right. People like him don't change, Tori. If he seems like he has then he's deceiving you." Hannah turned away, arms folded, and Neville continued the conversation, more calmly._

"_Are you sure he would even want the job?" he asked Astoria, "The Draco Malfoy I knew wasn't the type who would want a job as a waiter. And doesn't he have all that family money to live off? Why would he need a job?"_

"_The Draco Malfoy you knew isn't the same as the Draco Malfoy I know," Astoria explained patiently, "And no he doesn't _need _the job, but he wants it. And I think it would be good for him. If he can't find some sort of purpose for himself soon then he's going to slip back into sitting around hating himself. I know you probably don't like him much, and maybe he doesn't deserve your help after some of the stuff he did, but surely you can be the bigger person and give him a chance?" Astoria was looking at Neville, but her words were directed at Hannah, knowing that Neville would never make a decision his wife didn't agree with._

"_It does seem childish to hold onto some old grudge," Neville admitted, joining Astoria's plea to Hannah, "And we can always fire him again if it doesn't work."_

_Hannah turned around and glanced between their entreating faces. She sighed._

"_Well if you can forgive him after everything he did to you, Neville, then I suppose I can hardly refuse," she said reluctantly. Astoria hugged her._

"_Thanks, Hannah. I owe you," she said gratefully._

"_Yeah, whatever," Hannah said, shrugging her off and hurrying away to check on the bar. Neville turned to Astoria._

"_You're going to a lot of trouble to help Malfoy," he said, "That's a lot of effort to make for a friend." _

"_Not really," Astoria smiled, but as she left she began to think about that. Not whether it was too much effort to make for a friend – because it wasn't – but whether "friend" was the right word to apply to Draco. To begin with he'd just been the stranger who'd helped her out when she was most vulnerable, and then he'd been the guy she confided in, simply because he was there at the right time, and because he seemed such an excellent listener. And then – once her own life was making a little more sense again – she'd begun to feel sorry for him. He'd seemed so lost and lonely and desperately in need of a friend, so she'd become his friend. And they'd been friends for less than a month, but already she couldn't remember what life had been like without their regular lunch dates and long conversations, in which she still couldn't quite get him to open up. She certainly opened up to him, however. She told him absolutely everything, though she wasn't entirely sure why. Perhaps it was simply his air of acceptance, and never ever judging her. Already she was closer to him than to many of the friends she had known for years. But was he _just _a friend? He couldn't exactly be more than that, could he? After all, it was far too soon after Matthew for her to even consider becoming involved with another guy. And besides, she didn't see him like that. Did she? _


	7. Go For It

**Go For It**

"I've found you a job!" Astoria seemed very excited as she bounced into the café where the often met for lunch. Draco couldn't help but feel apprehensive.

"What sort of job?" he asked.

"A job as a waiter. In the Leaky Cauldron. A friend of mine owns it now and she was complaining yesterday about how she was short of staff, so I suggested you."

"And your friend doesn't mind employing Draco Malfoy, former Death Eater?"

"Of course not!" She spoke brightly, but Draco couldn't help but think there was slightly more to it than she was letting on. He doubted her friend was particularly thrilled about having him as a new employee, and thought it had probably taken some persuasion on her part. He was very grateful, though he still couldn't understand why she was going to all this effort for him.

"I'm bringing you to meet her on Saturday," Astoria said, "Sort of like an interview, except they haven't had any other applicants, so you'll almost definitely get the job. This is so exciting!" He smiled, caught up in her enthusiasm. He had to admit it _would _be exciting, finally having his own job and earning his own money. His excitement was such that he found himself telling his mother all about it when he visited her that evening.

"A job as a waiter?" she asked, confused, "But why would you want to get a job as a waiter? Father and I are quite happy to continue providing for you. You don't have to go out and get a _job_." She said the word "job" like it was something vulgar, something that was for common people and people with no money, not the great Malfoy family.

"But I _want_ a job," he explained patiently, "I want something to do other than sit around all day, and I want to feel like I'm not depending on someone else to provide for me." His mother looked at him for a long moment.

"Yes," she said softly, "I understand." And it seemed she did, because she stopped asking questions after that.

_Astoria could tell Draco was nervous on Saturday when she met him outside his flat to walk to the Leaky Cauldron. She supposed she couldn't blame him. Job interviews were always a little scary, and it must be worse for him, knowing that people were prejudiced against him even before he walked through the door. She felt a little bad for not telling him that two of his former classmates would be interviewing him, but she knew he'd probably just have refused to come, and she really did think this job would be good for him._

_When they walked in the Leaky Cauldron was fairly quiet – this being fairly early in the morning – and a young waiter directed them through to one of the parlours. They stopped outside the door, and Astoria turned to Draco._

"_You're going to be absolutely brilliant," she said quietly, "Good luck!"_

_They pushed open the door and entered. Hannah was sitting behind a desk in an attempt to look professional, while Neville was perched on a table in the corner, looking much more relaxed. Draco took one look at Neville and went very white. He turned to glare at Astoria but she simply grinned, hoping to put him at his ease a little. It didn't really work._

"_Please sit down, Draco," Hannah said. Astoria had to admit she was doing her best to be professional and unbiased. Draco sat in the chair in front of the desk and Astoria went to join Neville, sitting on the table. Hannah began to ask Draco questions, finding out about his previous experience – none whatsoever – availability to work strange hours, and willingness to learn. Although he was very nervous to begin with, Draco seemed to relax throughout the interview, becoming much more confident and answering questions easily and calmly._

"_What do you think?" Astoria whispered to Neville, "Will she give him the job?"_

"_If he was anyone else I'd say yes for definite," Neville whispered back, "He seems just about perfect for the job, aside from his lack of experience. I think the only thing that would stop her hiring him is that he's Draco Malfoy."_

"_But you don't mind?" Astoria asked, "I thought he used to bully you when you were at school?"_

"_That was years ago. I'm not going to hold a grudge against someone for something that happened so long ago. I've moved on from that."_

"_Well that makes you a better person than most, Nev. I think you may be the first person I've met who _doesn't _hold a grudge against him. Even people who've never met him seem to hate him for how he behaved at school."_

"_I don't know if you heard, but it was Harry Potter who insisted the Malfoys be given a pardon rather than being sent to Azkaban. I figure if Harry can forgive him, after all the enmity between the two of them, then none of the rest of us really have the right to go on hating him." Astoria smiled. It was hard to believe that this sensible, generous, surprisingly wise man was the same Neville Longbottom Daphne used to describe as clumsy and stupid and pathetic, back when she first started Hogwarts. It wasn't hard to believe, however, that he was also the same man who had inspired hope among the students of Hogwarts during that dark year, and who was responsible for the death of Voldemort's snake. Neville Longbottom truly was an incredible person._

"_Alright, I think that's us done," Hannah said, standing up. She glanced at Neville, and some sort of unspoken communication passed between them. Eventually, Neville nodded. Hannah sighed._

"_You've got the job," she told Draco. He stared at her as though she'd just told him he was going to be sent to the moon. Then his face split into a grin._

"_Thank you," he said warmly, shaking her hand, "You won't regret it." _

"_I'd better not."_

Draco still couldn't believe it. He had a job. _He _had a _job_! A proper job, and not just some Ministry position with lots of bribing people to do things, like his Father had once had. An actual _job_. It wasn't something he'd ever imagined happening, not in a million years.

He couldn't help but feel pretty nervous, though Astoria kept insisting her had no reason to be.

"It's just going to be odd working for Hannah and Neville," he admitted to her, "I don't know if it's going to be too awkward, after us having been classmates, and with all the old enmity between Neville and I."

"Nonsense," said Astoria, "You're both adults; you can put all of that behind you. Neville already has: he told me so."

"Yeah, well it's alright for Neville," Draco muttered, "It's going to be _me _working for _him_, not the other way round." Astoria looked at him for a long moment, and then burst out laughing.

"You're just _proud_," she said, "You don't want to work for someone you used to consider beneath you."

"Of course I'm not!" protested Draco, "I just think it's going to be awkward."

"No you don't," Astoria was still laughing, "You think it's going to be humiliating to have to work for the person you used to bully. You and your stupid Malfoy pride."

Draco was about to retort angrily, but then he stopped and thought about it. Actually, she was right. He _was_ proud. It seemed ridiculous, after everything that had happened, to be worried about something as trivial as his pride. He started laughing too. It felt good, being able to laugh at himself. It wasn't something he'd really been able to do until recently. That ridiculous pride again, he supposed. There was just something about Astoria that allowed him to do it. Being around her made him take himself a little less seriously, perhaps because he knew she wouldn't think any the worse of him because of it.

"Your first real job!" Astoria said when they stopped laughing, "We should do something to celebrate."

"Do you want to go get a drink or something?," he suggested. He hadn't touched a drop of alcohol since giving it up, but he knew if he were with her he'd be able to drink sensibly, without getting carried away. She didn't look very enthusiastic.

"Nah," she said, "That's a bit boring. We should do something more unusual … I know!" she looked very excited now, "Have you ever been to a movie?"

_Astoria tried to explain the concept of films and cinemas to Draco as they walked through Muggle London, but he still looked rather perplexed._

"_So they're a bit like the moving pictures we have," he said eventually, "Except they act out whole stories."_

"_Sort of." She'd given up on explaining it further, and figured she'd just let him see for himself. Fortunately, he had some Muggle money in his pocket, because she'd completely forgotten to bring any, and so he paid for the tickets, waving away her offers to pay him back later. He also bought them a big bag of popcorn to share. The popcorn, like the concept of films, confused him greatly. She admitted she wasn't entirely sure how it was made – having only been introduced to cinemas a year ago herself, by a muggleborn friend – but encouraged him to try some._

_The film was a romantic comedy and, while they both found it very funny, the story was a bit too much like her own for Astoria's liking. She could certainly sympathise with the character when her boyfriend dumped her for another girl, though in this girl's case she ended up discovering that her best friend had been in love with her for years. There was a brief moment of conflict when her old boyfriend came back begging to be forgiven, but then she realised she was actually in love with the guy who'd been her best friend for so long, and the two of them lived happily ever after. Somehow, Astoria didn't think she'd be so lucky._

"_I'll walk you home," Draco said once the film was finished._

"_Oh no don't bother," Astoria protested, "I'm back staying with my friend again, and it's miles out of your way."_

_"Muggle London's no place for a girl to be on her own late at night," he said firmly. She considered pointing out that she could just apparate, but instead she merely giggled._

"_Is that chivalry, Draco Malfoy? I do declare, you're behaving like a Gryffindor!"_

"_Never!" he pretended to be shocked that she would even think such a thing, but offered her his arm in the most gentlemanly of manners and began to walk in the direction of her flat. The topic of his job – which he would be starting on Monday – soon came up._

"_Do you really think I should do it?" he asked, tone serious, "I mean, it's hardly going to be easy. People aren't going to like having me wait on them, and I'd hate to lose Hannah and Neville customers. And what if I'm really bad at it? I've never done anything like this before in my life."_

"_Don't worry about it so much," Astoria advised, "Just relax, and take everything as it comes. You're right that it'll be difficult, but the best things in life always are. Nothing worthwhile is ever gained without taking risks."_

She was very wise for someone her age; no one had ever given him advice like that before. His father had expected him to manage everything perfectly without even making an effort, and his mother had always tried to prevent him from taking risks. He had to remind himself that she wasn't completely infallible, and that she too was vulnerable and dealing with problems. Glancing across at her during the film he'd seen tears sparkle in her eyes; it really had been unfortunate that the film had such a similar storyline to the breakup she'd just gone through.

"I feel like I should be over him by now," Astoria admitted softly, seeming to read his mind, "But then I see something that reminds me of him and it all comes rushing back. I really hope I'll stop loving him one day, but I don't think it's happened yet. I guess it would be nice for some amazing guy to come along and sweep me off my feet so I'd forget all about Matthew, but somehow I don't think that's very likely."

"You need to let go of Matthew first," said Draco, surprising himself with his own insight, "It's not a matter of you meeting someone else and _then_ moving on from Matthew. Until you can destroy his hold on you, you're never going to be able to fall in love with somebody else."

"You're right, Drake," Astoria said, "Thank you. You've been a wonderful friend over the last few weeks."

They'd reached her flat now and were standing on the pavement outside, reluctant to part and let this perfect evening end. Draco felt more at peace than he had in a long time, probably years. In the light of the street lamp, he was struck by how dark her eyes were, and how beautifully her hair framed her face. She truly was the most stunning girl he had ever met, and he couldn't understand how Matthew could have been stupid enough to give her up.

_They were standing in silence now but it wasn't an awkward silence, rather a beautiful, hopeful one, full of potential. His eyes were calmer than they had ever looked before, less troubled and full of anguish. Then again, perhaps it was just the strange light that made them seem like that. The light was certainly doing strange things to his face, making his strong, chiselled features more pronounced. Was it her imagination, or was he leaning ever so slightly towards her? She leaned slightly closer in response, and was now able to feel his warm breath in the cool night air._

He leaned closer, captivated by her beautiful, delicate mouth. How had he never noticed before what incredibly red lips she had? Suddenly they seemed to dominate her face, hypnotising him slightly. Sense tried to prevail on him. Did he really want to do this? After all, she had only recently broken up with someone, and she probably still only saw him as a friend, and what girl would ever want to become involved with someone as messed up as him? He didn't lean any closer, but neither did he move away.

_Astoria heard her own advice running through her head: "Nothing worthwhile is ever gained without taking risks." Surely this was a risk worth taking? But was it? After all, there was a lot at stake here. She didn't want to ruin her friendship with him, and she wasn't really over Matthew yet. It wasn't fair to drag him into the mess that was her life at the moment, and make him deal with her stupid, confused feelings. She wasn't really sure what she _did _feel about Draco. She liked him – in fact she liked him a lot – but she wasn't sure whether it was just as a friend, or as something more. And she was fairly sure she was still in love with Matthew …_

"I should get going," Draco said, pulling away. He'd seen the confusion in Astoria's face, and he didn't want to put her through having to figure out what she was feeling. She clearly wasn't over Matthew, and anything she might think she felt for him was obviously just because it was late and it was dark and she was a little emotional. To take advantage of her when she was this vulnerable would have been as bad as if he'd taken advantage of her that night when she was drunk.

As he turned away, however, he wasn't entirely sure whether he'd done the right thing or not. Had he been doing it for her sake? Or was this just further proof that he was a coward? Would it have been braver to just go for it and kiss her, like part of him had wanted to do? Or was the braver decision to walk away, like he'd chosen to do, and not mess up her life any more than Matthew already had? He wasn't sure. He _had _done the right thing. Hadn't he?

_As she watched Draco walk away down the street, Astoria wasn't sure whether to breathe a sigh of relief, or burst into tears. She tried to tell herself that it was good he had stopped it before she got carried away, but some part of her couldn't quite believe that. She'd _wanted _him to kiss her. But that was wrong. She didn't want him to just be some rebound guy to help her get over Matthew. He meant more to her than that. She couldn't give up on their friendship just because she was overly emotional and not thinking straight. However much she might wish otherwise, she was still in love with Matthew. Wasn't she?_


	8. Happiness

**A/N: Hey, I just wanted to say that there's a poll on my profile about what story I should write next - if you've got a moment to vote and let me know your thoughts I'd really appreciate it :)**

**Enjoy the chapter!**

**Happiness**

"Are you happy, Draco?" his mother asked as he made himself breakfast. He'd come over to see her on Sunday night and had ended up staying so late that he decided just to spend the night. It was now Monday morning, and he was rushing in an attempt not to be late for his first day at work. He merely nodded in answer to her question, not really giving it much consideration, before grabbing some toast and heading for the door.

As he walked up Diagon Alley, however, he began to dwell on it a little further. His mother had merely been referring to his new job – or at least he thought she had – but he began to consider it in a deeper sense. _Was _he happy? What was happiness, really? Had he _ever _been happy? Since starting Hogwarts, end even before that, his life had revolved around trying to please his father, and had consisted of insecurity and bullying others in an attempt to boost his own ego, and never ever feeling like he was good enough. Even when his life had supposedly been perfect – loads of "friends", parents doting on him, half of Slytherin scared of him – he hadn't actually been _happy_.

And then he'd become a Death Eater, and the next couple of years had been pure hell. He supposed he'd been pleased when Potter won – but still not exactly happy.

And was he happy now? It was hard to say, not having any previous experience to compare it with. He was certainly looking forward to his new job, though at the same time he was absolutely terrified. And he'd stopped drinking, so that was an improvement. And for the first time he did feel like there was some hope for the future. Was that what happiness was? The knowledge that life was getting better, and the hope of things improving in the future? Somehow that didn't seem quite right.

He didn't get any more time to think about it. From the moment he arrived at the Leaky Cauldron and Hannah threw an apron at him, he was working just about non-stop. There was no formal training – simply a brief tour of the kitchen and an explanation of how the system worked and then he was sent out to wait on people.

To his great surprise, he found himself taking to it instantly. In a waiter's uniform, he was no longer a person with a background and a history; he was merely a waiter whose only purpose was to serve the customers. He worked all through the busy lunch period: taking orders, making polite conversation, joking a little to amuse the children, clearing tables, and always, _always _smiling. Few people recognised him – certainly not as many as he'd been expecting – and the few who did mainly ignored him after a couple of pointed remarks about how the family fortune must be severely depleted for him to sink as low as getting a _job_, like ordinary people did. These people were mainly old classmates as most of the wizarding community had heard of him but never met him, so wouldn't actually recognise his face. By his request, his name badge merely read "Drake" and this was what people addressed him as.

He took his lunch break at around three. His one regret about this job was not being able to meet Astoria for lunch anymore. While she took her break while everyone was getting lunch – because that was the quietest part of the day – for him that was when the Leaky Cauldron got busiest and he couldn't possibly be spared. However, he did swing past the shop to assure her that it was going very well and to promise to meet her for dinner that evening.

If he'd thought lunchtime was busy, it was nothing to the period from five o'clock onwards. Since taking over, Hannah had turned the Leaky Cauldron from a place where people mainly came for drinks to one of the most popular restaurants in Wizarding London, and even on a Monday evening, it was insanely busy. Between rushing to take orders, clearing and wiping tables in record time in order to get more people seated as quickly as possible, and apologising to impatient families who couldn't understand why their order was taking so long, Draco barely stood still for a moment in three hours.

He'd never enjoyed himself more.

_Astoria's day, on the other hand, had been rather boring. The highlight of the day was when Draco came by. She was very pleased his day was going well; after insisting that he take this job it was nice to be proven right. She was just hoping Hannah and Neville were as pleased as Draco was. She thought they probably would be._

_The whole atmosphere in the bookshop was a little more dismal than usual. Not for any particular reason; it just seemed everyone had woken up in a fairly dull mood and they were all now fed up with the day. Helen walked in at eleven, took one look at their gloomy faces and burst out laughing. They looked at her in surprise._

"_If you could _see_ your faces!" she laughed, "You look like somebody's died. Even _Astoria _looks miserable, and she's probably the happiest person I've ever met. I know it's Monday, but if you don't cheer up a bit people are going to start thinking Voldemort's risen again or something." _

_They all fixed smiles on their faces to please Helen, and the atmosphere did brighten a little with her present, but somehow no one could manage to muster up a huge amount of enthusiasm. Astoria found herself pondering Helen's question. Was she really the happiest person Helen had ever met? She probably did come across like that – she'd always had a tendency to fake being cheerful, even when she wasn't – and she supposed it wasn't surprising that Helen was taken in by that. Very few people were able to see through her façade, Daphne being the only person who'd ever been able to do it consistently._

_Was she happy, though? She had a wonderful job and loads of friends and a comfortable lifestyle: there was no reason _not _to be happy. But was happiness just about material things and popularity, or was there more to it than that? She had this strange, empty feeling, as though there was still something missing in her life. It could have been Matthew, she supposed, but even though she'd loved Matthew – and maybe still did – she wasn't sure she'd felt complete, even when she was with him. There was something else, something more important._

_It wasn't a question she was going to be able to answer in the near future, so she soon put it to the back of her mind and thought of lighter, more trivial things. Nevertheless, she couldn't dispel that strange, unsettled feeling. _

_Not wanting to spoil Draco's wonderful day with her strange mood, she made sure to fix on her brightest smile when they met at the little Muggle restaurant he had insisted she try. He seemed about to start talking about his day as they sat down, but then he looked at her properly and stopped._

"_What's wrong?" he asked sympathetically._

"_What?" asked Astoria, startled, "Why do you think something's wrong?"_

"_You look like you're worrying about something. What's bothering you?" She was silent for a moment, still surprised at how easily he'd seen through her act, and trying to find the right words to explain how she felt. _

"_I just … I feel like some part of me is missing, like my life's not quite … oh, I don't know. I guess I always thought that once I'd left school and moved out and had a job and my own independence I'd feel … happy. And not so long ago I had a perfect boyfriend, and I was in love with him, but even then I didn't feel right. Maybe I'm just being selfish, I mean, I have an amazing life. What could I possibly complain about? It's just … I don't know. It's not enough." Draco considered her for a moment._

"_Maybe you didn't feel right because Matthew wasn't _actually _a perfect boyfriend. Maybe you knew deep down that he wasn't the right guy for you, and maybe the thing that's missing in your life is a guy who will love you as much as you love him." Astoria sighed._

"_Yeah, maybe you're right. I'm just not sure guys like that exist. Anyway," she brightened up, "Tell me about your day. How did it go?"_

"It was amazing," Draco began, finding he was telling the absolute truth, "I can't believe I almost didn't go. It was one of the busiest and most hectic days I've had in my life, but I don't think I've ever done something that felt so worthwhile before …" He was off, describing every moment of the day in minute detail. He knew he probably ought to stop talking and let her get a word in edgeways occasionally, but he couldn't help himself. He found himself wanting her to know everything that had happened to him, to share in all the things he'd enjoyed. Some little voice at the back of his head tried to tell him that he was opening himself up too much to this girl, and that opening yourself up made you vulnerable, but he didn't listen. He'd spent his entire life guarding himself against other people, and just this once he wanted to relax and trust somebody.

He talked non-stop for about half an hour, and when he finished Astoria was looking at him with a very strange look on her face.

"What?"

"Oh, it's just …" she paused, "That's the longest I've ever heard you talk for. You're normally so quiet."

"It's probably the longest _anyone's _heard me talk for," he admitted. She smiled.

"It's nice," she said, "You should talk like that more often. Tell your mother everything you've told me next time you go and visit her. She'd like it." He nodded, in an attempt to please her, but somehow he didn't think he would. Astoria was the only person he could ever let his guard down around. He doubted he could be this relaxed around his mother.

When they finished eating, Draco walked Astoria home again. He felt on top of the world, like nothing could possibly go wrong on a day like this. He'd just done his first day of proper work, and for the first time felt like he'd earned the right to be happy. Perhaps as Draco the silly, childish bully and Draco the Death Eater and Draco the alcoholic he'd had nothing to be proud of, but he had a new persona now. In addition to all those others, he was Drake the waiter, whom Hannah had called a natural and little children found amusing and whom everybody smiled at. And better than that, he was Drake the waiter, who had just had dinner with one of the most beautiful women in London and was now walking her home.

When they reached Astoria's flat, they stopped again and stood outside. This time there was no moment of indecision. Perhaps caught up in the newfound confidence he'd gained today, or perhaps simply more impulsive than usual having let his guard down, Draco leaned towards Astoria and, very gently and very carefully, he kissed her.

_It was the softest kiss Astoria had ever had, very tender and infinitely sweet. He seemed nervous at first, ready to pull back if she rejected him, but as she kissed him back he relaxed and it became longer and deeper. When they finally separated they simply gazed at each other in silence, no words required. Astoria felt something click into place inside her. Her relationship with Matthew had been comfortable and often exciting and sometimes passionate, but it had never _ever _felt like this. This felt … right. Like her lips belonged on his. _

_He wished her goodnight and as he turned away Astoria realised something. For the first time that she could remember – and perhaps for the first time in her life – she felt complete._

Draco couldn't stop grinning as he walked through the dark streets of Muggle London. He passed through the Leaky Cauldron, waving cheerfully at Hannah who, to his great surprise, waved and smiled back as though he were a friend and not an old enemy. This didn't feel like his life. It felt like the life of somebody else, somebody good who deserved to work as a waiter and wave at his friends and kiss pretty girls goodnight.

"Yes," he said aloud, answering his mother's question, "Yes, I _am _happy."


	9. If I Said That I Loved You

******A/N: Hey, I just wanted to say that there's a poll on my profile about what story I should write next - if you've got a moment to vote and let me know your thoughts I'd really appreciate it :)**

******Also, thank you to my guest reviewer - obviously i couldn't reply to you personally, but your review meant a lot to me and I'm glad you're enjoying the story so much.**

******This is slightly earlier than I usually update, but I received some really lovely reviews for my last chapter so I figured I'd post the next chapter anyway. Enjoy!**

**If I Said That I Loved You**

_Astoria woke up in a very good mood, and it took her a moment to figure out why. Then it all came flooding back. Draco had kissed her! He'd kissed her and it had been … incredible. Perfect. The sense of peace that had flooded through her had been unlike anything she'd ever experienced before, even with Matthew. _

_The day flew by like a dream. She couldn't concentrate on anything, and more than one customer gave up on making sense of her dreamy, nonsensical answers to their questions and went to ask somebody else. It didn't take her friends long to figure out what was at the root of her strange behaviour._

"_Something happened with Draco, didn't it?" Mike asked with a grin._

"_How-how did you know?" Astoria asked, startled._

"_Please," smiled Sally, "We're not stupid. You've been falling for him ages. Whenever he walks into the shop your face lights up, and you get this faraway look on your face whenever you're thinking about him."_

"_Plus, you said you were going out for dinner with him last night, and when you came in – very late at night – you had a dazed look on your face and wouldn't respond to any of my questions," added Katherine._

"_Oh," Astoria supposed she shouldn't have been surprised by her friends' perception, "Yeah. Draco … Draco kissed me last night!" she burst out, unable to keep it to herself any longer. Sally and Katherine exchanged a smile and Mike rolled his eyes._

"_Took him long enough," he said._

"_Well I don't really like him very much myself," Sally admitted, "But I'm thrilled for you."_

"_If he ever hurts you, though," Mike said threateningly, "I will personally hunt him down and murder him. I couldn't do it with Matthew, cos he was still a mate of mine, but I'll have no such scruples when it comes to Malfoy." Astoria grinned._

"_Thanks, guys." _

_She was still rather distracted for the rest of the day, but her friends merely smiled fondly and did their best to cover for her. She did try to focus, but somehow she just couldn't manage to. All she could think about was seeing Draco again that evening._

Draco woke up with a grin on his face, one that didn't fade as he made breakfast and headed for work. His co-workers watched, a little bemused, as he strode in whistling and proceeded to fly from table to table, cleaning and sorting and chatting politely, all the time with that perpetual smile on his face. The mood was contagious, and when Hannah came in to see them when they were all clearing up after lunch, she could hardly believe how cheerful they all were.

As the end of his shift drew closer, however, Draco's mood took a slight downturn. Doubt crept in. What if he'd been too forward? What if Astoria hadn't wanted him to kiss her? Yes she'd kissed him back, but what if she was regretting that now? What if she was just on the rebound after Matthew, and didn't actually like him that much?

He began to wonder why he cared so much. It had just been a kiss. It didn't mean anything. It wasn't like he was in love with her or anything.

Except that he _did_ care, and it _had_ meant something. He'd opened himself up to her and allowed himself to care about her, and it had just struck him how vulnerable that made him. He hadn't let his guard down like this with someone in a very long time – perhaps not ever – and that gave her a kind of power over him he'd never wanted anyone to have. And perhaps that wasn't a negative thing in itself; after all, all the great war heroes and the most influential people in the wizarding world seemed happy to grow attached to and dependent on a great number of people – friends, family, girlfriends and boyfriends and husbands and wives. He wasn't like them, though. He was scared.

And then Astoria appeared at the restaurant door.

"Hey, Drake," she said, that beautiful smile lighting up her face. Draco had to try very hard not to stare. Why did it keep surprising him every time he noticed how beautiful she was? Perhaps it was simply that he couldn't believe someone as stunning as her would even want to be seen with someone like him. And it wasn't just her outer beauty. Something about her was just so pure and absolutely good; she radiated a sort of inner beauty that nobody who met her could fail to notice. He found himself smiling involuntarily just at the sight of her.

This didn't do much for his confidence, however. It seemed impossible that she could ever feel for him what he felt for her. How could she? She was beautiful and good and kind and strong, and he was … not.

"You ready to go then?" Astoria asked. Draco glanced at his watch. Five past seven. His shift had ended five minutes ago. Pulling off his apron, he waved goodbye to Hannah and some of the others and joined Astoria. They wandered down Diagon Alley towards the little street on which his flat was situated. Astoria slipped her hand into his and began to ask questions about his day. He answered automatically, but was finding it hard to focus on anything but her hand in his. Their fingers were intertwined, fitting together perfectly. Walking down the street hand in hand, they felt like a proper couple. Like they were meant to be together.

_Draco seemed a little distracted as they walked back to his flat. She had promised to teach him to cook after discovering that his skills were limited to toast and some very basic meals, so they were cooking their own meal tonight._

_When they got in, however, he cheered up a little. He truly was a terrible cook, with Astoria barely managing to avert disaster several times before the meal was finally ready. It was somewhat satisfying, though, to sit down on the sofa in the living room and share a meal they had worked together to cook. Draco talked enthusiastically about his day, having apparently enjoyed it no less today than yesterday. She found herself watching his face carefully, seeing the way his eyes shone as he talked, and the way his brow crinkled as he tried to recall some little detail in order to recount it to her perfectly._

_There was something truly beautiful about him, something she was sure most of the world would never see. In a sense it was a privilege to know that she was one of the few people with access to this side of him, but at the same time she wished everyone else could see what she could. Of course, he was still carrying around a lot of bitterness and hurt, and sometimes that made him defensive, but that didn't change to fact that at heart he was one of the sweetest, most vulnerable and most wonderful people she had ever met._

The way she looked at him as he talked wasn't something he had ever experienced before. It was like she could see through all the barriers he'd ever put up and right into his soul. And what's more, she didn't seem scared off by what she saw. He got the feeling that she saw every little part of him, and that she liked him regardless. That wasn't something he was used to. He'd always believed that in order to make people like him he had to put on an act and be the person they wanted him to be. Astoria wasn't like that, though. Was it possible she actually _did _care about him the way he cared about her?

They talked for hours before she finally insisted that she had to leave. She refused his offer to walk her home and said that she would just apparate. She got up to get her coat, but before she could leave he grabbed her hand to stop her. Something had been dawning on him over the last couple of hours, and it wasn't something he could ignore. This girl had touched his heart in a way that he hadn't believed anyone ever would, and it had suddenly struck him that he didn't think he could live without her. Perhaps she wouldn't return his sentiment, and perhaps it would hurt a lot if she rejected him. But that didn't matter. He couldn't stay silent. He'd never been one for taking risks, but this was one worth taking.

"I love you," he said softly. Astoria's head flew up.

"What did you say?"

"I love you," he repeated, bracing himself for the rejection that was surely coming. Instead, her face broke into a smile and she threw her arms around his neck, kissing him passionately. The kiss went on for a very long time, before they finally broke apart.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Astoria said, then turned on the spot and disappeared with a crack, leaving Draco slightly dazed, but on top of the world.

It wasn't until hours later that he realised she hadn't actually said she loved him too.


	10. Jealous Hearts

**********A/N: Hey, I just wanted to say that there's a poll on my profile about what story I should write next - if you've got a moment to vote and let me know your thoughts I'd really appreciate it :)**

**Jealous Hearts**

The next month flew by. Draco continued to work at the Leaky Cauldron, and no matter how long he worked there it never became boring. His co-workers adopted the name "Drake" for him, and only very occasionally referred to him affectionately as "our tame Death Eater". The regulars at the pub became fond of him, unable to resist his charm and infectious cheerfulness. Many wondered at how this wonderful young man could be the same Draco Malfoy, and Draco often caught Neville giving him a very odd, slightly puzzled look, as though he wasn't sure whether he was imagining it completely. There was still the occasional old classmate or relative of a Death Eater victim who treated him very coldly, or even spoke fairly abusively, but he could hardly complain about that. He couldn't deny that he deserved it, and was lucky that most people bothered giving him a chance at all.

He and Astoria saw each other almost every day, if only for a few minutes to say hi and catch up. They were now officially classed as dating, and he still got a thrill every time she introduced him to somebody as "my boyfriend, Drake". He'd told her he loved her several more times, but she still hadn't said it back. He tried to tell himself that it didn't mean anything, and that she simply wasn't quite ready to make that commitment yet. After all, she was still recovering from a break-up, and she probably wasn't ready to commit to someone and risk having her heart broken again.

Nevertheless, he couldn't help but remember Matthew, whom he had never met but who loomed large in his mind regardless. She had admitted to still being in love with him only the night before Draco had first kissed her, and somehow he couldn't stop wondering whether that was still how she felt. Surely not? She wouldn't be going out with him if she still harboured feelings for someone else. Would she?

_Astoria noticed sometimes that Draco was a little distracted, that he seemed to be debating something behind those troubled, grey eyes. Mostly he was happy and relaxed and was opening up more and more to her, telling her about the past and all the horrific things he'd been through and how trapped and alone and scared he'd felt, or laughing and joking with her, simply learning to enjoy life. Sometimes, however, it was as though he withdrew into himself, unwilling to connect to her the way he normally did. She didn't know what caused this, and she didn't know what to do about it, but she could only trust that it would improve over time._

_He kept telling her he loved her, and she had no doubt it was the absolute truth, and she was painfully aware that she was yet to say it back. She wanted to, but not until she knew it was definitely the truth – she cared about Draco too much to lie to him – and she couldn't quite guarantee that yet. While Draco was a truly wonderful guy, she found herself constantly thinking about Matthew. Not that she wanted to get back together with Matthew – or at least she didn't _think _she did – but something about him was stopping her from fully committing herself to Draco. _

_It was incredibly frustrating. Why was she letting an idiot like Matthew ruin her relationship with a genuinely sweet guy who would never cheat on her or break her heart like Matthew had? That was just stupid. And yet … something wouldn't let her forget about him. She was sure it would pass soon enough. These feelings for Matthew could hardly be permanent ones. After all, she wouldn't have let it get so far with Draco if she was still in love with somebody else. Would she?_

And then, one day, Draco couldn't take the confusion any longer. He had to know how Astoria felt about him, and whether it was worth remaining hopeful. Dropping by Flourish and Blotts on his day off, he offered to take her out for lunch, saying there was something important he needed to talk to her about. She was in a particularly good mood, humming cheerfully and chattering away about some very rare book she was trying to find for a customer.

They went to their usual café – the little one in Muggle London where they'd had first had lunch together – and ordered what they always ordered. The meal had a nice familiarity to it. He felt so comfortable in her presence, so safe. It was still hard to believe he could possibly deserve this, but he was starting to accept that the two of them were perfect together, and that perhaps he truly was lucky enough to be blessed with a girlfriend like her.

Nonetheless, he had come here today with a purpose, and he couldn't keep putting it off. He waited until they had finished their meals and were sitting and talking, and then he took a deep breath and began.

"Astoria," he said quietly, and the seriousness of his tone seemed to catch her attention, "We need to talk about something. I love you; you know I do. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I'm not denying that. I just … I'm not sure you feel the same way about me. I know I'm probably a pretty poor replacement for Matthew, and that you deserve better than _either _of us, but I really do care about you. I just wish … I wish you'd let me know whether there's a chance you'll ever love me the way you used to love Matthew. I don't care how long I have to wait, so long as I know that one day you'll be mine. But if … if you don't think that's possible then maybe we shouldn't carry on with this."

There was a moment of silence after he finished. Astoria seemed to be struggling to find the right words to reply to him.

"Draco, I–" she began, then her gaze shifted from his face to something behind him and her eyes widened. She stood up, her face very white. Draco turned to see what had caused such consternation. He sighed.

It was Matthew.

_Matthew stood in the doorway of the café for a moment, gazing at her, then walked towards them. He looked straight past Draco, barely seeming to register that he was there, and reached out his hands to her._

"_Astoria," he said softly, "Astoria, I've come to apologise. I've been a complete idiot. I gave you up for someone else, not seeing that you were worth a million times more than any other girl I'd ever meet. I've been so stupid, but I see that now. Please tell me it's not too late," he got down on his knees in front of her, somehow managing to look both remorseful and brave where any other guy would just look ludicrous, "I love you, Astoria. Please take me back."_

_It was so precisely like the scenarios Astoria had fantasised about when they first broke up that she had to pinch herself to check that she wasn't dreaming. No, sure enough, she was standing in the middle of a café with Matthew kneeling in front of her, almost like some sort of very twisted proposal, while Draco sat at the table beside her, watching the whole proceedings in disbelief._

_Draco. Of course. That brought her back to reality with a jolt. Things weren't how they had been a month ago, when she had dreamed about Matthew coming back to her. She was going out with Draco now. She couldn't just run back into Matthew's arms like nothing had ever happened. _

"_Matthew … Draco … I …" she looked between the two very different men in confusion. Why did things have to be so complicated? Draco pushed back his chair and stood up. He glanced down at Matthew, and then back at her. _

"_You never stopped loving him, did you?" he said, reminding her of the conversation they'd had not long after they met about how she felt she still loved Matthew, but hoped she would stop loving him soon. Something clicked into place and realisation flooded through her._

He saw the realisation dawn in her face.

"No," she said slowly, "No I never stopped loving him, but Draco–"

But that was all Draco needed to hear. He didn't want to hear her apologies and excuses, didn't think he could bare it. Unable to remain in here any longer, he turned towards the door.

"I wish the two of you every happiness together," he said, his voice dull, then strode from the café, ignoring Astoria's cries for him to wait. Turning on the spot, he disappeared with a loud crack, rematerializing in his flat. He had never been so happy to be back in his own little space. Sinking onto the sofa, head in his hands, he felt tears welling up in his eyes. How could this have happened? How could he have _let _this happen? He should have known not to let someone take on such significance in his life. Giving away your heart to somebody only opens you up to being hurt by them, and he should have known that.

He didn't blame Astoria, of course. She'd never claimed to love him, and he'd always known there was a risk of her choosing Matthew over him. It wasn't her fault. Matthew, on the other hand, he very much blamed. What right did this man have to break Astoria's heart and abandon her for someone else and yet still be able to win her back the moment he wanted her again, when Draco had loved her completely and unconditionally and still could not win her heart?

His feelings towards Matthew were bitter and more intense than he could every remember feeling before. He truly hated him, in a way he had never hated anyone, not even the once-despised Harry Potter, or his father whom he had blamed for so much of what had gone wrong in his life.

He almost went out drinking that night, but something stopped him. He had learned what it was like not to drown his sorrows every night and wallow in self-pity for hours on end, and he couldn't give that up now. He may not have Astoria anymore, but he wouldn't give up the things she had helped him to achieve.

Instead, he apparated to Malfoy Manor. His mother took one look at him and enveloped him in an enormous hug, then led him inside to sit down in one of the smaller sitting rooms.

"It was a girl, wasn't it?" she asked. Draco stared at her in astonishment.

"How … how did you know?"

"No one but a girl could have had you looking so happy over the last month or so, and no one but a girl could have you looking the way you do now." Draco sighed.

"Yes," he said heavily, "It was a girl."

"And?" his mother prompted him, clearly wanting to hear the story.

"And she still loves somebody else. That's all there it to it."

"Oh, Draco," she took is hands in hers, gazing at him with compassion, "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be," he replied shortly, "I shouldn't have got so attached to her. It was my fault."

"No it wasn't!" she exclaimed, standing up, "And don't you ever let me hear you talking like that again! Allowing yourself to care about someone is never a bad thing, and it most certainly _wasn't _your fault. I know Father and I were never the best role models, and letting yourself develop feelings for someone is always a risk, but that shouldn't stop you doing so. Perhaps it hasn't worked very well on this occasion, and perhaps it will hurt for a while, but if you handle it right you'll come out of this experience stronger and more capable of loving. This girl – whoever she is – has helped you during a time when you most needed help, and that's not something you should forget, even once she's no longer around to keep it up. You just have to learn to move on, letting go of the feelings that hurt the most and holding on to the things that you've gained."

When she finished speaking, they sat in silence for a while. Draco mulled over her words. She was right, of course. He would never go back to being the person he'd been before, and that was thanks to Astoria. He certainly didn't wish it had never happened. It had been the best few weeks of his life, and he wouldn't give that up for anything. And perhaps he _would _be a stronger person because of this.

He just wished it didn't have to hurt so much.


	11. Keeping Hope Alive

**A/N: I apologise for the shortness of this chapter. I'd forgotten I'd even written this chapter, but I think it's important that I keep it in, even if it's not exactly what you may have been hoping for. Enjoy!**

**Keeping Hope Alive**

The next few weeks were very hard ones. He couldn't say they were the hardest of his life – not after everything he'd been through – but they were hard in a way he'd never really experienced before. Every little thing reminded him of her. He couldn't sleep in his own bed without remembering the time she'd slept in it, couldn't walk down the street without bringing back some painful memory. He'd taken to apparating to work so that he didn't have to walk past the shop where she worked, and spending much of his time at his parents' house to avoid the chance of running into her by accident.

His mother continued to be more supportive than he had ever known her to be before. In the absence of his father – who remained in his study and refused to join them – their relationship deepened, unhindered by the necessity of conforming to Lucius' rules and living up to his expectations. Draco couldn't help but wish he'd been able to see this side of his mother when he was younger, but was aware it was partly his own fault. He'd been so focused on achieving his _father's_ approval and love that he'd failed to notice the one parent whose love didn't require winning, and had been available to him all along.

He started to work later and later at the restaurant, offering to cover shifts and work overtime in an effort to busy himself with something. After a couple of weeks of this, Neville tackled him about it. Draco was clearing up after a busy evening, the only person left, having offered to finish up in order that the others could leave. Walking into the quiet room, Neville sat on one of the tables.

"Mal- Draco," he said, "Leave that for a moment, I want to talk to you."

Nervously, Draco set down the brush he'd been using to sweep up and came over to perch on the table opposite Neville's. He still couldn't quite believe that Neville, the old victim of his bullying, would do him such an enormous favour, and found himself panicking every time he was called over by either Neville or Hannah, worrying that they'd changed their minds. He couldn't afford to lose this job. Not now that it was one of the few things keeping him going, making his life worth living.

"Drake – do you mind if I call you Drake? I know it's what the others call you. I reckon it's a good way of putting the past behind us, allowing me to treat you like a different person." Draco nodded numbly; surprised that Neville saw the same benefits as him to the name "Drake".

"Drake, are you okay?" Neville asked, his voice concerned, "I mean, I appreciate all the extra work you've been doing, but I'm not sure it's really very healthy. Do you want a couple of days off, or maybe you should work shorter days for a little while? Just to rest for a little bit. You've been very pale lately, and Hannah's been worrying about you. She thinks you're tiring yourself out."

"I'm fine," Draco said shortly. He didn't want to work less. That would just mean rattling around in his flat on his own, or walking endlessly around Muggle London, trying to avoid any of the places they'd visited on that wonderful first day.

Neville sighed.

"Look, Drake, it's not just Hannah's who's worried about you. I know you've just been through a break-up, though Hannah won't tell me much about it cos she says it would be betraying Astoria's confidence, but this isn't a good way to deal with it. You're going to make yourself ill."

"And why would you care?" Draco asked, looking Neville straight in the eye. It was a question he'd been eager to ask for a long time. "Why should you give a damn about my wellbeing? I don't know why you even gave me this job in the first place; I can only assume you did it as some sort of favour to Astoria or whatever. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate it, but you can stop now. You've done what Astoria asked you to, and you don't owe me anything else. You can stop pretending that you don't hate me."

Neville sighed again. He was silent for a moment, and seemed to be collecting his thoughts, finding the right words.

"I don't hate you," he said eventually, "And you're kidding yourself if you think you've ever had enough significance in my life for me to waste time and energy hating you. Well, maybe a bit in first year, until I realised I had something you didn't. I had friends I didn't have to prove myself to. They all knew I was a slow, clumsy, forgetful kid whose only special talent was the ability to get everything wrong, but they chose to be friends with me anyway. Whereas you put on this act all the time and projected an image of a smart, cool, talented guy who always had everything under control, and yet every one of your "friends" was using you. And I guess … I guess after that I felt sorry for you."

Draco bowed his head. He must have been pretty pathetic, that even Neville had pitied him. It struck him, too, that Neville had been a very perceptive person.

"And then as I got older," Neville continued, "I began to realise that there were similarities between the two of us. The way you behaved around your dad was the same way I behaved around my grandmother. I was always desperately trying to live up to her expectations and never quite succeeding. And I suppose it was good that all the things she wanted from me were at least good things. I think that if her dream had been for me to become a perfect little Slytherin and then a Death Eater, then I'd have ended up fairly similar to you, or I'd have tried to best to."

Draco snorted disbelievingly. Neville would never have ended up like him. He was too … _good_. There was something so perfectly pure and heroic about him, a bit like Potter. His grandmother's expectations had held him back for a little while, but nothing would have stopped him becoming a hero in the end. He was a _Gryffindor_, and that's what they did.

"And then the Carrows took over Hogwarts, and I was so busy with the DA and stuff I didn't really see you much," Neville went on, "But there were a couple of Slytherins in the DA, and they mentioned you sometimes. Daphne was one of them – Astoria's sister – and she told me about something you'd been doing. She said that you'd offered to take the detentions for the Carrows a couple of times a week, the ones where you were supposed to use the Cruciatus Curse on them. And obviously because you were a Death Eater the Carrows trusted you, but according to Daphne you just pretended to do it, and got the kids to scream a bit. That surprised me. I think that was when you really gained my respect. Considering you had to go back to Voldemort every holiday, and the chance of the punishment he would have bestowed if he'd found out, not only on you but also on your parents. I even considered approaching you at one point to ask you to join the DA, but I thought it would probably be too dangerous. The Carrows wouldn't dare to punish anyone too badly, which was why I could allow students to take the risk of joining, but in your case there was the danger of Voldemort punishing you, and that wasn't a risk I was going to ask you to take. But I appreciated what you were doing for the kids in detention. They came to feel like my responsibility over that year, and anything that prevented them being too seriously hurt was a good thing."

Draco found himself thinking back over that year. Faking those detentions had been the least he could do for those poor kids, and it had been nice to be looked at with gratitude rather than fear or disgust. He'd had incredible admiration for the DA, and the way they'd kept hope alive among the students. They'd kept _his _hope alive, to some extent.

"I'd have joined," he said at last, "If you'd asked me to join, I would have."

"I know," Neville said quietly, "That's why I didn't ask you."

They sat in silence for several minutes, each pondering their own thoughts. It was nice to think that he had been of some help during that year, and that he'd in some small way gained Neville's respect. It made him realise what a truly incredible person Neville was, to be able to feel anything but contempt for someone who had once bullied him. While Harry Potter had been incredibly generous in insisting the Ministry pardon his family – and Draco was very grateful – he doubted they could ever be sitting here having this conversation. Only Neville was capable of truly giving him a second chance like this.

"Shall we start again?" Neville asked, breaking the silence, "I've seen a different side to you lately, and I'd like to get to know this new guy, without all that rubbish from the past getting in the way. What do you say?"

Draco looked up with a small smile. For the first time since Matthew had walked into that café, he felt a spark of hope inside. Perhaps he had lost Astoria, but here he was gaining a friend he had never hoped to gain. He nodded. Neville stuck out his hand.

"How do you do?" he said with a grin, "My name's Neville."

Draco took his hand and shook it.

"Hi, Neville," he replied, "I'm Drake."


	12. Live Like No One's Watching

**Live Like No One's Watching**

"Draco, darling, could I ask a favour of you?"

Draco glanced up from the book he was reading to see his mother standing in the doorway of the little sitting room. He'd been occupying himself while she was upstairs trying to coax Lucius out of his study – where he spent most of his time nowadays – but was glad to have her company.

"Of course," he replied with a smile.

"Well it's just … I was wondering … there's this party at the home of an old friend of mine next weekend and she's asked me to attend. As you know, I haven't really been getting out much lately and, well, it would be lovely to see everyone again. I've been so nervous about going out because of how people are bound to be judging me and condemning me, but I think I'm finally ready."

"That's great," Draco said, genuinely pleased for his mother – who was naturally a sociable person and had clearly been suffering trapped in this house with his currently very unsociable father – but failing to see what part he had to play in this.

"Yes, it is. It's just that your father point blank refuses to attend the party with me and I'm not sure I'm brave enough to go out there on my own just yet. Would you … would you go with me, Draco?"

Draco's immediate instinct was to say that it was absolutely out of the question. He didn't want to stand around at some boring party – of the sort he'd been dragged to as a child – making polite, meaningless conversation with everyone and trying to pretend he couldn't see people's judgmental gazes and barely concealed whispering as they wondered how he dared show his face in public after everything he'd done. He couldn't go to that party. It was unthinkable.

But then he saw the expression on his mother's face. This was very important to her. It was alright for him – he had his job at the Leaky Cauldron and his friends there, who had recently taken to inviting him out with them sometimes – but she never left the house except to go out into the garden. Her (very well-paid) house-elf took care of any necessary shopping and errands, and she stayed at home looking after Lucius. It struck him how incredibly unselfish she'd been. This was the first time she'd asked for something for herself in … he didn't even know how long. She spent hours caring for his father, whom she would do almost anything for, but who6 did nothing for her in return, and had never once complained about it. In addition, she had put with Draco during his antisocial period when he'd only dropped in every so often and generally had only done so to start an argument, and then when he'd been upset about Astoria she'd supported him and made time for him whenever he'd needed her. Surely the least he could do in return was go to some stupid party?

And besides, it would probably be easier for him than it would be for her. After all, he'd had a lot more practice at this than her. He'd been working in the Leaky Cauldron for several months now, and had learned how to deal with the various different ways that people reacted to him, and had discovered that the reactions themselves were never as bad as the dread of them. His mother didn't know that, though, and this was an incredibly brave step for her to take. It was time for him to be the strong one and support her in this. It was time for him to be a better man than his father.

He was suddenly reminded of that conversation he'd had with Astoria about his parents. "They love you," she'd said, and she'd been right. Well, about his mother at least. He still wasn't sure about his father. He suddenly found himself feeling very ashamed of the way he'd talked about them to Astoria, who had been, at the time, practically a stranger. He was a Malfoy, and Malfoys stuck by their family, regardless of what they might have done. Of course, his predecessors had hardly done as wonderful a job as they might have liked to think they had, he thought sadly, thinking of his mother's sister, exiled for marrying a muggleborn. But that was going to change. He was going to make every effort to bring back all the _good _things the Malfoy name had once stood for.

"Of course I'll go with you," he said to his mother, "Just let me know what time to pick you up."

"Really?" she looked absolutely astonished, "You mean it? You'll go with me?" Draco cringed a little at what she must have been expecting from him.

"Absolutely. I'd be honoured to." He mock-bowed to her, kissing her hand, "And what time should I call for you, my lady?" She laughed, an occurrence that hadn't been very common lately, and was almost never inspired by him.

"I believe seven o'clock would be appropriate, sir," she replied with a little curtsy, and they both began to laugh again. Then, unexpectedly, she began to cry.

"What's the matter, mother?" Draco asked, aghast, "Did I do something wrong? What's upset you?"

"Oh it's just … I'm being silly … it's just that your father used to … he used to do that. My parents were so dreadfully stuck up and old-fashioned and they had all these ridiculous rules about how a "gentleman" ought to behave. So when Lucius was courting me – isn't that such a funny, old-fashioned word? – he used to behave like that, but he'd be ridiculously over the top about it. And of course _we _knew that he was joking, but my parents couldn't see it at all and thought he was absolutely wonderful, so we had to try very hard not to laugh. Sometimes, and dinner parties and things, he'd get worse and worse in an attempt to make me start giggling, and I'd have to keep a very straight face in front of all my parents' posh, important friends. It was our little private joke. And I know it's silly and sentimental of me to start crying about that but I just …" she subsided into sobs, and Draco pulled her into a hug.

"He'll come back to you," he said softly, "It's going to take him a little longer than us to adjust to this, but he will eventually. It's just that for years he's based his entire identity on power and influence and high social standing, and it's hard for him to lose that. He's not ready to accept that society has changed, and maybe he never will be, but he's going to realise that he still has you, and that that's what matters, more than any of that other stuff. It may not happen quickly, but I promise you that it _will _happen." It felt odd to be the one giving advice to his mother, and not so long ago he wouldn't have dared to make a promise like that, but in that moment he knew it was the truth. Narcissa looked up at him through tear-speckled eyelashes.

"When did you get so wise?" she asked.

"I don't know," Draco replied, "I really don't."

"_You're coming to the party with me this Saturday, right?" Daphne asked. Astoria looked up in annoyance from the book Daphne had just disturbed her in reading._

"_I thought you were going with Theo?"_

"_I am, but a load of his mates are going too, and a group of guys can be so boring to hang out with for an entire evening, and I was hoping you'd come so I'd have at least one girl to talk to. Please say you'll come, Tori!"_

"_But I'll be the only one without a date," Astoria sighed, "And I know perfectly well that when the dancing starts you'll go off and dance with Theo for hours on end and leave me to all the old men who couldn't dance well to save their lives, or worse, to sit at the side and not be asked to dance at all."_

"_Please, Tori," Daphne wheedled, "I'm sure one of Theo's mates would dance with you. They can't _all _have girlfriends." Astoria rolled her eyes. Theo's mates were mainly a bunch of imbecilic idiots who struggled to form words longer than two syllables, meaning they had trouble merely pronouncing her name, but she knew Daphne would keep on at her until she agreed, and Daphne could be very persuasive when she wanted to._

"_Oh alright," she agreed, "But I am _not _dancing with Goyle."_

The party had been described on the invitation as "a small, informal gathering" but Draco, with all his experience of parties of this sort, was unsurprised to discover on arrival that it consisted of around one hundred guests. Purebloods didn't do things by halves.

Not that this party was exclusively a pureblood one, as once would have been the case. Draco could pick out a good many muggleborns, as well as families who would once have been defined as "blood traitors". Things truly were changing.

He and his mother had paused at the doorway. She was very pale.

"You're going to be fine," he told her. She gave him a wan smile.

"I suppose so," she said, "It's just hard to believe that right now." He offered her his arm.

"Everything's going to be great," he said, "I'll make sure of it." She slipped her arm through his, and together they stepped out of the shadowy doorway and into the large ballroom.

_There was a gasp throughout the room. Astoria looked round from an unsurprisingly boring conversation she was having with a couple of Theo's friends to discover that the cause of the consternation was two people who had just stepped into the room._

_Her first thought was that they were a striking pair, the woman beautiful in a quiet, understated way that nonetheless held the promise that she could be absolutely dazzling if she wished, the man incredibly handsome._

_Her second thought was that she'd never seen Draco dressed so smartly before, but that it certainly suited him._

_Her third though wasn't really very coherent as it suddenly struck her that _Draco _was _here_. _

_For a split second she found herself incredibly jealous of the beautiful woman on his arm, before realising that, beneath that elegant beauty, she was much older than him, and was in fact Narcissa Malfoy, his mother. _

"_Astoria? Are you alright?" Daphne's voice forced Astoria to tear her eyes from Draco and assemble her face into something vaguely resembling calm._

"_Yes, yes I'm fine."_

_Nothing had ever been further from the truth._

Although the initial reaction was one of shock that Narcissa Malfoy had finally emerged from Malfoy Manor and re-joined the rest of the world, people lost interest much faster than Draco had expected, and his mother relaxed. She was soon flitting between her friends, laughing and talking as she always had. Although Draco was happy to see her returned to her natural place in life, he was at a loss as to what to do with himself.

Suddenly, across the room, he spotted an old friend from Hogwarts – Theo Nott. While most of his old friends weren't exactly eager to hang out with him anymore, he reckoned Theo would probably be happy enough with his company for a little while. Making his way slowly through the large groups of people, he headed towards his old friend.

Theo spotted him when he was still a little way away.

"Draco!" he called, walking towards him, "It's great to see you again. It's been ages since we last talked." They fell silent for a moment. The last time they had, in fact, talked was just before the Battle of Hogwarts, when Theo had said he was staying to fight with his girlfriend for the DA. Draco had told him that he was a fool, and was picking the losing side. They hadn't exactly parted on the best of terms.

"I'm sorry about … you know," Draco said quietly.

"Don't worry about it," Theo said, and that was it. No recriminations or anger, simply instant forgiveness. Draco found himself regretting having not made more effort to be proper friends with Theo when they were at Hogwarts.

"You remember Daphne, of course," Theo was saying, leading Draco over to the little group he'd been standing with, "And I don't know if you've met her sister, Astoria."

Draco froze. Slowly, he met Astoria's gaze. She looked less surprised than him; she'd obviously known he was here. Her face remained very calm, but he could see her debating something. All her emotion was in her eyes, and he'd learned to read those eyes better than most people.

"Draco," she said eventually, "We need to talk." Grabbing his hand, she dragged him away to a quieter corner of the room, ignoring the exclamations of surprise from their companions.

"There's nothing to talk about," Draco said dully as she turned to face him, "You never stopped loving Matthew. That's all there is to it. Talking of Matthew, I don't see him here tonight. Couldn't he make it?" He tried not to let bitterness creep into his voice. It wasn't her fault after all.

Astoria looked at him very sadly.

"Draco, will you listen to me, just for a few minutes? Just listen and don't interrupt and if you want to leave after I've finished then I won't argue with you." Draco sighed. He didn't want to hear apologies and explanations. That would just make it more painful. But when she looked at him like that he couldn't refuse her anything.

"Go ahead," he said, "I'll listen." She took a deep breath.

"I tried to come after you and explain that day," she said, "But you wouldn't wait, and then I thought that maybe you just didn't want to be with me, and I thought maybe it was better to let you go. But seeing you here tonight, I know I can't do that. I have to explain, even if it doesn't make a difference.

"You didn't let me finish, the day Matthew came back. I started a sentence but you didn't let me finish, and what I _wanted _to say was this: I never _stopped _loving Matthew, because I never loved him in the first place. I thought I did, but it was really just a kind of admiration because he seemed like such a perfect boyfriend, and I felt like I _should _be in love with him. And maybe I would have carried on thinking that I'd been in love with him, if it wasn't for that day. When he walked into the café and I saw him next to you, I realised that I wasn't in love with him – and never had been – because I finally knew what it was like to be in love. What I'd felt for him seemed ridiculously fake and superficial, compared to what I felt for you. I'm in love with you, Drake, and I'm sorry it took me so long to realise it. I think all that stuff with Matthew was holding me back, because I'd thought I loved him, and somehow I couldn't move on from that, but when I saw him it all suddenly became so much clearer. You were a friend to me when I most needed a friend, and you brought hope to my life when I thought I'd lost it. I love you, Drake, and I don't think I can bear to lose you. Please tell me it's not too late."

She stopped and looked at him. Draco was speechless. Of all the things he'd expected her to say to him, this hadn't been one of them. To be told that he was valued far above Matthew – in fact, to be told that he was valued at all – wasn't something he had been expecting, and it was hard to believe that anyone could ever be upset to lose him.

"I …" he began, then realised that no words could ever do his feelings justice. Very slowly, he leaned in and kissed her.

"Oi, Malfoy! Get your hands off my sister!" a voice broke into their perfect moment, and they sprang apart guiltily. Daphne was standing with her hands on her hips, Theo hovering nervously behind her.

"Would anyone care to explain this to me?"

Astoria stepped closer to Draco, and took his hand.

"Don't go all protective and silly, Daph," she said. This did nothing to calm Daphne down.

"You'd better not be using her, Malfoy," she said warningly, "We may have been friends once, but I wouldn't trust you with my _socks, _never mind my sister. If you hurt her–"

"I can assure you I would never dream of using Astoria. I … I love her, and I'd rather die than hurt her."

"Oh I'm sure that could be arranged," Daphne said threateningly, but her face had softened a little. She looked between the two of them. Draco was aware he had a rather soppy look on his face, but somehow couldn't bring himself to care.

"Oh alright," Daphne said resignedly, "But make sure you take care of her." Theo grinned and took a step forward.

"Speaking as someone who's been in love with a Greengrass for years," he said, "you have no idea what you've just let yourself in for, mate."

_After they'd talked to Daphne and Theo for a few minutes, Draco took her hand, saying, "It's about time you met someone," and pulled her away._

"_Mother," he said as they discovered Narcissa standing watching the dancers, "This is Astoria Greengrass. Astoria, this is my mother."_

_Narcissa looked her quickly up and down, and she had the rather disconcerting feeling of being completely analysed. Then she glanced at her son, and her face softened into a smile._

"_Astoria," she said, "It's a pleasure to finally meet you. Not that Draco's actually mentioned you by name before, but your impact on his life has been fairly obvious. Thank you for bringing my son back to me."_

_Somehow Astoria knew she wasn't talking about physically bringing him back to her, and she found herself instantly warming to this beautiful, gentle and yet at the same time very strong, woman._

"_It's a pleasure to meet you too," she said with a smile. _

"_Now if you'll excuse me Astoria," Draco said, turning to his mother, "I believe I am owed a dance."_

_Astoria watched as Draco led his mother out onto the dance floor. The intimacy between the two of them was obvious, and she found herself smiling as she watched Narcissa throw back her head and laugh at something Draco had said. It was a very open laugh, one that didn't match the composed, outwardly rather cold Narcissa Malfoy Astoria had known before the war. She was sure the old Narcissa _had _laughed like that, but not in public. Obviously the war had gone some way towards straightening out her priorities and softening her pride a little._

_At the end of the dance, the two returned to Astoria's side, Narcissa's cheeks flushed like she was seventeen again and finishing her very first dance, Draco smiling in a way that had become more common recently. _

"_And now I have stolen you away from your much younger and much prettier young lady for far too long," Narcissa said, gesturing to Astoria, "Draco, you must not neglect her. Astoria, he is all yours."_

"_I wouldn't dream of neglecting Astoria, Mother," Draco replied, and then, suddenly very sincere, "But you will always be beautiful, no matter how old you are."_

_He turned away then to fetch some drinks, and Narcissa moved off to talk to a friend, but not before Astoria saw the tears glistening in her eyes._

When he returned with the drinks, Draco found Astoria standing alone, watching the dancers with a little smile on her face. She took the drink from him and sipped at it absentmindedly. They stood for a few minutes in silence.

"You're so sweet with your mother," Astoria said eventually, "escorting her here and dancing with her and saying all the right things. I think she really appreciates it." Draco nodded sadly.

"I may be saying the right things," he said, "But I'm the wrong person to be saying them. She wants my father to be here. It ought to be _him _making a fuss of her and treating her like a princess and asking her to dance. She loves dancing, but it's _him _she wants to be dancing with, not me." Astoria nodded understandingly. Then, a smile brightening her face, she grabbed his hand.

"Talking of dancing," she said cheerfully, "I don't believe _we've _danced yet."

Draco pulled his hand away.

"Are you sure?" he asked, "Do you _want _to be seen dancing with me? I'm hardly the most popular person in the room." He'd been able to feel people's gazes on him all evening, their accusing stares and indignant whispering. It had been alright when he and his mother had danced, standing up together against the criticism, supporting one another, but he wasn't sure he wanted to subject Astoria to the disapproval and hostility that came with being associated with him.

Astoria sighed.

"Draco," she said, taking his hand again, "Just for once, will you pretend that there's nobody watching us? Just for once will you forget what everybody else thinks and live the way that _you _want to? Do it for me. Just this once."

And, just this once, he did.


	13. Moments Like These

**A/N: As anyone who's noticed the pattern in the chapter titles will have realised, we're now exactly halfway through the story. I hope you've enjoyed it so far, and if you've got a moment to review and let me know your thoughts on this chapter, and the whole thing so far, that would be very much appreciated :)**

**Moments Like These**

The months flew past in a wonderful haze, each day better than the last. Draco's job was great, and his friendships with his co-workers continued to improve, but none more so than his friendship with Neville. He discovered in Neville that unusual and highly admirable trait that allowed him to say that they were going to move on and forget about the past, and then to actually do so. With most people Draco thought it likely that they would have _said _they forgave him and were moving on, but that it would have taken considerable amounts of effort to actually do so. Neville truly treated him like a new person, and he was eternally grateful for it.

Altogether, he had more friends than he could remember ever having had before in his life. After the ball he and Theo returned to their old friendship, with considerably more enthusiasm and honesty on both sides than had been present previously, and as a result he found himself seeing more of Daphne than he had at school. In addition, Astoria introduced him to her rather abundant circle of friends, and he found himself making his first ever muggleborn friends. They truly were just like anybody else. Of course, he'd come to realise that long before this, but there was a difference between admitting something in his head and actually seeing it in practice. They were surprisingly fair to him considering the things he must have said about or even to many of them in the past.

He and his mother spent a significant amount of time together now, perhaps making up for the time they had lost while he was a child. His father became more and more reclusive, rarely leaving his study for anything and often speaking no more than a few words to his wife, and Draco found himself becoming the not entirely willing confidant of his mother. He wished he could do something to change his father's behaviour, and it hurt him to see his mother hurt, but there seemed to be nothing to do other than be there for her and listen to her. It wasn't much, but listening was one thing he was very good at.

Of course, Astoria was the highlight of every day, even the days on which he didn't actually see her. He'd never believed it was even possible to be this happy, and yet somehow he was. Astoria was truly an incredible person. Not that she was perfect. He would be the first to admit she had her flaws. A temper, for one thing. She'd seem absolutely fine and then something tiny would happen and she'd start yelling at him. And she was proud. She didn't like being the first to apologise. Neither did he, of course, but he'd been getting better at it lately. He told himself it was good for him to learn to say sorry. It was pride that had got him into such a mess in the past, and it was time he grew up.

So he was happy. Exhilaratingly so. And yet he couldn't quite seem to accept that. Some part of him – the part of him the believed he couldn't and didn't deserve to be happy – continued to punish him. He snapped at Astoria sometimes, made snide remarks to push her away. If he found himself drawing too close to her, enjoying her presence too much, he would say something he knew would hurt her or make her angry so that she'd leave. He always apologised afterwards, but he always knew he would do it again. He wasn't entirely aware of what he was doing, but he hated himself for it, and the more he hated himself, the more he wouldn't allow himself to be happy. It was a weird and twisted cycle that he didn't understand and couldn't break.

That didn't mean he was miserable, however. He was happy, or at least happier than he had been ever before in his life. He just wasn't as happy as he ought to have been.

_Astoria was happy. The months went by in a blur, each day creating a hundred new happy memories. Her job continued to be wonderful; her friends were a constant source of enjoyment, and of course she had Draco. _

_She was a very perceptive person, and she knew Draco wasn't completely happy. Not as much as she'd have liked him to be, anyway. She knew, too, that it was something he would have to work out for himself, and that there was no point in her trying to solve all his problems for him. All she could do was keep telling him that she loved him, and hope that he would realise one day that it was really true._

_He wasn't the perfect boyfriend. Far from it. Often he yelled at her, or picked stupid arguments, or said things he knew would wind her up. She wasn't entirely sure why he did it. She tried to tell herself to be patient and understanding, but sometimes that wasn't possible. Sometimes he infuriated her beyond belief: the way he would brush her feelings aside as though they meant nothing, the way he knew exactly what would hurt her most, that smug little smile he would get when he knew he'd got to her._

_He always apologised, though, and the look in his eyes told her he always meant it. That was something Matthew had never done. He'd never apologised. Not that they'd fought very much, but on the rare occasion that they had they'd just forgotten about it after a couple of days and gone back to normal in a sort of unspoken agreement that they'd moved on. It was nice to have Draco apologise, to have some acknowledgement of the fact that they'd gone wrong for a while, but that they were right again now. _

_Her relationship with Draco was so different to her previous relationship with Matthew that it was hard to compare them, but she found herself doing so anyway. He wasn't the perfect boyfriend, not like Matthew had been. It was better like that. Matthew had seemed perfect, and look how that had turned out. Someone who seemed perfect was obviously hiding something. Draco, on the other hand, seemed as though he was being completely open and honest with her. Well, almost completely honest. There was still something he was hiding, she could see that, but she wasn't going to push it. He'd been through a lot in the past, and he'd tell her when he was ready. _

It was on the first anniversary of their meeting that Draco finally tackled some of the issues that were bothering him. They were having a double celebration: Astoria's boss, Helen, had been transferred elsewhere, and Astoria had been promoted to manger. What had originally been intended to be a temporary job had become a much more permanent one, and she was thrilled. Draco, too, had recently been promoted to head waiter at the Leaky Cauldron, though he would be the first to admit his promotion wasn't quite as impressive as hers.

They were in their favourite restaurant – the one they'd gone to on their first official "date" – and had just ordered. Draco was biting back the urge to say something cutting about her promotion – which was still his automatic reaction when he knew someone had beaten him at something, but didn't want to admit it – and so was unusually quiet. While he loved being a waiter, he knew it was hardly an impressive job to have. It hadn't been so bad when Astoria was only a shop assistant, but now that she was a manger he felt a little overshadowed by her, and was trying very hard not to be bitter about it. To his credit, he was managing incredibly well so far, and had succeeded in being nothing but supportive and happy as she nattered on about all the new responsibilities she had now and what an honour it was and how blissfully happy it made her.

It was their special night, and her being happy made him happy (sort of) and so he made an extra effort to be nice.

"So I was thinking," Astoria began, "You've met Daph, and a lot of my friends, but it's been a year and you still haven't met my parents, and I've only met your mum, not your dad. And I know I'm not really very close to my parents, and you don't really get along with your dad anymore, but I think if our relationship is going to grow and move forwards then we really need to meet each others families." Her tone was serious and sincere now, and he felt a churning sensation begin in his stomach. This was the first time they'd actually sat down and had a serious conversation about "our relationship" and it made him nervous. He was going to have to make some sort of official commitment and, much as he loved Astoria, the idea of committing to someone like that scared him. Of course he knew he was committed to Astoria already, simply by going out with her, but that had happened more gradually.

This was different. This was her asking him to take a step forward with her, and some instinct inside him screamed at him not to do that. He didn't feel … ready.

"Astoria," he said tentatively, "I've got … something to confess. Something I've never told anyone about before."

"You tell me a lot of things you've never told anyone else," she pointed out, "Surely this can't be much worse than that." Draco looked down at his hands.

"This is … different," he said, "It's about Hermione Granger."

Astoria didn't say anything, but she indicated for him to go on.

"During that year," he began, speaking slowly, these memories painful ones to relay, "The year when the Dark Lord was living in our house. During that year, Harry Potter and his friends were captured and brought to our manor. The Dark Lord himself wasn't there – if he had been we probably wouldn't be here today – but my aunt Bellatrix decided to … interrogate Hermione. She tortured her horrifically. It was one of the worst things I'd seen in my life. Most of the people I'd seen tortured before that were Death Eaters or hangers-on – people I could claim to myself had known what they were letting themselves in for – people like me and my father. But Hermione … well we'd never exactly got on, but to see her treated like that purely because of her blood was just so absolutely _wrong _that it altered my whole perspective on things. It was at once the bravest thing I'd ever seen and the cruellest."

He stopped talking, and to his great astonishment Astoria gave a little laugh. Draco stared. Of all the reactions he'd been expecting, that hadn't been one of them. At his shocked face, Astoria explained:

"It's not that _that's _funny. It's just … well when you said it was about Hermione Granger I was slightly worried you were going to admit that you were secretly in love with her or something. When I heard that it was something completely different I was very relieved: that's all. I know that's very selfish of me, and I feel awful about being relieved that Hermione was tortured, but I guess I'm still a little worried about losing you."

Now it was Draco's turn to laugh.

"I did have a little crush on her at one point actually," he admitted, "Only because she was forbidden, I think, and because I knew it would never happen. Even if she'd agreed to go out with me – which she probably wouldn't have, even if I were the last guy alive – I'd never have been able to get over my stupid prejudice, nor would I have been brave enough to disobey my father so drastically. The crush disappeared after that day when she was tortured, of course. I think that was when I realised that, far from being inferior to me, she was by far superior. Coward that I was, I stood there and watched Bellatrix torture her, without lifting so much as a finger to help her. I wasn't good enough for her, and I never would be."

"But you're good enough for me?" Astoria asked, and he realised how that must have come across. It must have sounded as though he had given up on Hermione as being above him, and settled for her instead. Nothing could have been further from the truth.

"No," he said quietly, "I'm not. That's what I'm trying to say. I'm _not _good enough for you, Astoria, and you could do so much better than me. Every single day I'm with you I worry I'm going to let you down in some way, prove that I don't deserve to be with you. And the selfish part of me, the part that's desperately in love with you, wants to be with you anyway, but the part of me that loves you most doesn't want to see you tie yourself to someone who would never begin to live up to what you deserve."

_Astoria sighed. It was his father who had made him think like this, like he had to _earn _love and live up to expectations all the time. _

"_It doesn't work like that," she said, "I'm not in love with you because I think you're a perfect person, or because you've matched up to some sort of requirements I've got. I'm with you because I love you. Unconditionally. Of course love works best when it's returned, and when two people treat each other equally well, but that doesn't mean you have to be perfect all the time. People who are truly in love can forgive one another. Why do you think your mother still stays and looks after your father, in spite of how badly he treats her right now? It's because she loves him, and that can be a blessing or a curse, but either way it's not dependent on perfect behaviour, and living up to expectations and rules."_

_Draco lifted his eyes to meet her gaze, but he didn't say anything. Astoria took his hands across the table._

"_We all do things we're not proud of," she continued, "I don't know Hermione very well, but I think she's probably already forgiven you. I don't think she'd have expected you to try and help her – not when you were surrounded by other Death Eaters and would have been risking your life to do so. But if it's something that's particularly bothering you then maybe what you need to do is apologise to Hermione about it."_

"_I don't think …" Draco began, then stopped and started again, "You're right. That _is_ what I want to do … sort of. I don't know. I'm not sure I'm brave enough to face her. And her boyfriend hates me. I don't think he'd let me near her." The yearning in his voice told her that she'd hit on exactly what he wanted to do. _

"_Well, you always say that most of the things you regret were down to you being afraid to do anything else. So surely the best thing is to do something that scares you, and prove to yourself that you can." When Draco didn't reply, she continued, "Why don't you ask Neville? He's still friends with Hermione and her friends, isn't he?" _

_Slowly, Draco nodded._

"_Yeah," he said in a small voice, "Yeah, he is. I'll talk to him. Thanks, Astoria."_

"_It's what I'm here for," she said lightly, nonetheless touched that he appreciated her advice so much._

_She hesitated for a moment, then asked him a question that had been bugging her:_

"_You said earlier that you'd never have been brave enough to disobey your father and overcome your prejudice in order to date Hermione, because she was a muggleborn. What if _I _was a muggleborn, Drake? Would you still be going out with me?"_

"_Yes," he said firmly, "I would. Firstly, my attitude has changed considerably since then. The war changed my entire perspective on things. Secondly, I no longer care what my father thinks, not like when I was at school and my whole purpose was to impress him. And thirdly, I love you. I didn't love Hermione. It was just a silly crush and only really because it made me feel rebellious. But you're different. Blood status would never change my feelings for you."_

"_What if I was a muggle?" Astoria asked. She didn't know why she continued to torture herself like this, but she had to know. This time Draco didn't answer so quickly. She could see the conflict passing across his face as he considered the question._

"_I don't know," he replied eventually, "I'd like to think that I've changed enough not to let that bother me, but I don't know. Even my mother would probably be furious if I dated a muggle, and her opinion means a lot more to me than my father's now. I can't imagine never being able to see my mother again, just because of the woman I'd chosen to be with. But at the same time I can't imagine having to live my life without you. So I don't know, and I'm very glad it's not a decision I have to make."_

_Well at least he'd been honest, Astoria thought. It would have been very easy for him just to say, "Of course I would" because it would never actually be put to the test. She was glad he respected her enough to tell her his true feelings, and "I don't know" was better than an outright "No", especially considering how he'd been brought up. _

_The rest of their evening passed in relative calm, the two of them reminiscing fondly on the night they had met. _

"_I'll never forget the way I felt when I woke up that morning in your bed," Astoria told him, "And everything started to come back to me very slowly and … well I thought I'd done something very stupid. After all, what guy would bring me back to his house and let me sleep in his bed for any reason _other _than me sleeping with him?"_

"_What guy indeed?" Draco remarked, "But I've never exactly been inclined towards behaving like most guys."_

_Astoria laughed._

"_You most certainly haven't," she agreed, "And thank Merlin for that, because otherwise we probably wouldn't be sitting here together in this restaurant today." _

_He smiled gently, reaching over to take her hand in his._

"_I love you, Astoria."_

"_I love you too, Drake."_

_They might drive each other to the point of insanity, argue about the most ridiculous of things, and sometimes about less ridiculous things, and sometimes even push each other to wondering whether it was even worth the effort of carrying on, but it was at moments like these when she knew that it was. Moments when they gazed into one another's eyes and the world seemed right because they were together. Moments when they both knew that no amount of fighting could force them apart, and that they would both go through just about anything if it meant they could be together. _

_Moments when life was perfect._


	14. New Beginnings

**New Beginnings?**

"Neville? Do you have a moment?"

It was mid-afternoon, and the Leaky Cauldron was fairly quiet. Draco had just taken his lunch break and was due to start working again in ten minutes or so.

"Of course. What's the problem?" Neville set down the newspaper he had been flicking through and gave Draco his full attention.

"Not a problem exactly. I was just wondering … you're still friends with Harry, Ron and Hermione, aren't you?"

"Yep. We make it a point to meet up at least once a month for a meal, otherwise we probably wouldn't see each other very much. The three of them tend to be pretty busy nowadays. Ron likes to complain about how you'd expect saving the Wizarding World to entitle you to a break every so often, but apparently it just doubles the amount of work you're expected to do."

"Right. Do you … do you think they'd have time to meet up and … talk sometime?" Draco asked. Neville raised an eyebrow.

"Meet up with you? I'm sure they'd probably be able to make time; I'm not so sure whether they'd _want _to. I know _I've _seen a different side to you lately, but I'm not sure Ron's quite ready to be best buddies just yet. He holds grudges, I'm afraid, and even Harry has a tendency to hold onto things for a while."

"It's not that I want to be … best buddies," Draco said with a slight smirk, "I'm aware that the probability of that happening isn't much higher than zero. I just … well there are some things I'd like to say: stuff I'd like to apologise for. I was a bit of a prat in the past, and there are some things I need to … say sorry for."

It was hard to admit even to Neville, and he wasn't sure how his pride was going to hold up under actually having to say these things to the people themselves, but he knew Astoria was right. It was something he had to do.

Neville was watching him with an odd look on his face. It wasn't an expression Draco was accustomed to seeing on the faces of those around him. If he hadn't known better, he'd have said it was _respect_ …

"And here was me thinking that after you started dating a Ravenclaw (and former member of the DA), working as a waiter, hanging out with muggleborns and becoming one of my best mates you'd run out of ways to surprise me," Neville said wonderingly, "And yet here you are proposing to go and apologise to three people I probably wouldn't even dare to go near if I were in your situation. Whoever said Slytherins weren't brave?"

This didn't really help Draco's confidence, and he said as much. Neville laughed.

"Oh, it's not that I think you ought to be _scared _of them," he said, "I know they intimidate people a bit, but they're all very nice really. It's just that … well, it takes a lot of courage to apologise to someone you spent years hating, that's all."

"Yeah, I guess. I don't know if I'm going to be able to go through with it," Draco admitted, "But it's affecting my relationship with Astoria, stopping me from committing to her. And if this is what I have to do to change that then I guess it's worth it." Neville gave him a very thoughtful look, and seemed to be considering saying something, but eventually just promised to get in touch with Harry and arrange something.

"Thanks, Neville. I appreciate it."

"_I'm going to do it." Astoria looked up as Draco walked into the bookshop. It was his day off, and she'd been expecting him to drop by at some point. _

"_Do what?" she asked, returning to rearranging one of the bookshelves._

"_I'm going to meet them and apologise. Neville's set it up for me. I'm meeting them at three, at the Leaky Cauldron."_

_This time Astoria's head flew up and she gave him her full attention. She didn't need to ask who "they" were. It had been a couple of weeks since Draco had asked Neville about meeting Harry, Ron and Hermione, but somehow the news that the meeting was finally going to take place surprised her. Not that she'd thought Draco wouldn't go through with it, but just … well, maybe a tiny part of her _had _believed that he wouldn't go through with it._

"_Do you want me to come with you?" she asked, "I'm sure I could afford to take a bit of time off. After all, I _am _the manager."_

"_No," he replied, shaking his head slowly, "I think I should do this on my own. I just wanted to let you know that I'm doing it today." He glanced at his watch. "It's ten to three. I'd better go."_

"_Good luck." Somehow the words didn't seem enough, but Astoria wasn't sure what else to say. She wanted to tell him he'd be fine, but she couldn't. Not honestly. This was going to be hard for him, and she couldn't pretend that it wasn't. In the end she settled for a rather long kiss, before whispering gently in his ear, "I love you, Draco, and I'm so proud of you."_

_He turned to leave the shop, and she it was all she could do not to run after him and insist on coming with him. This was the bravest and most terrifying thing she'd ever seen him do – she hadn't been lying when she'd said she was proud of him – and it went against every instinct not to be there supporting him while he did it._

_That wasn't how it worked, though. She couldn't be there holding his hand, much as she wanted to. He was going to be fine, though. He had to be. _

Draco sat at the table, fidgeting nervously. He checked his watch for the tenth time in five minutes. Three minutes past three. He couldn't decide whether he was relieved that they hadn't arrived yet or disappointed.

"Malfoy." A voice behind him made him jump. He turned. It was Harry, just him. Ron and Hermione weren't with him. He stood up.

"Pot- Harry. Hi." It was odd: he'd been calling Harry "Harry" in his head for ages (he wasn't really sure why; it had just started happening automatically) and whenever he mentioned him to anyone else, and yet when faced with Harry himself, he instantly reverted back to the old habit of last names only.

"Hi." Harry smiled – an open, friendly smile – and offered his hand. Draco shook it and they sat down. Somehow, that was all it took. Any animosity the two of them might still have been feeling dissolved. Neville was right: they'd never be best friends. Only Neville seemed to fully possess the "forgive and forget" attitude required for that, and besides, too much had happened between he and Harry for them to be friends. It just wasn't possible. What was possible, however, and what seemed to be developing, was a sort of polite acquaintance between them.

"Ron and Hermione are running a little late," Harry explained, "Hermione got caught up in something at work, and Ron decided to wait for her, so I said I'd go on ahead and let you know."

"Right. Well I don't mind waiting. I'm not due to meet my girlfriend til around six, so I've got plenty of time."

"That's great. I'm sure they'll be along in fifteen minutes or so."

They lapsed into a rather awkward silence, neither sure what to say now that they'd grown up too much to lapse into the usual insults.

"So Neville tells me you're working here?" Harry said eventually, "That must be very interesting."

"It is," Draco agreed, latching eagerly onto one of the few subjects he could talk about at length, "I talk to so many different types of people. Absolutely everyone comes through here, from Ministry workers to tourists to kids on their way to collect their Hogwarts stuff for the first time. The best thing is seeing the muggleborn kids coming in for the very first time. You can always tell which ones they are by the absolutely astounded looks on their faces. Everything's so brand new and exciting to them, and it reminds you of just how incredible all of this really is, and how much we take it for granted. And of course they have no idea, but they're about to start what will probably be one of the best parts of their lives, and they have all of that ahead of them, and it's just so great to see that-" he broke off, realising that Harry was listening to him with a rather queer look on his face.

"Sorry," he said, feeling himself blushing, "You're probably not interested in all this stuff. Your job must be so much more interesting. Astoria always tells me that once I get started talking about my job I tend to go on for hours."

"No, it's okay," Harry said, waving away the apology, "It's interesting to hear about. It's just … well Neville's right. You _have _changed."

"Oh." Draco wasn't sure what to say to that. Fortunately, though it was hard for the terrified Draco to see this as fortunate, Ron and Hermione arrived at that moment and he was saved from having to answer.

"Hello, Draco," Hermione said politely. Ron merely glared pointedly at him and sat down in silence. Draco sighed. This was going to be difficult.

"You wanted to talk to us?" Hermione said, breaking a rather tense silence, "Neville said it was something important."

"Did … did Neville tell you what it was that I wanted to talk to you about?" Draco found his throat had gone rather dry. Hermione shook her head and his heart sank. That was just going to make this even harder. For a moment he considered just bluffing his way out of it – saying that it hadn't been important after all and leaving while he still could – but he knew he couldn't. If for no other reason, he couldn't let Astoria down. She believed that he was a good person – someone brave and kind, who was mature enough to admit that he'd been wrong and apologise – and in believing it herself she'd just about convinced him it was actually true. He couldn't let her, or himself, down now that he'd come so far.

"I wanted …" he stopped and swallowed, then started again, "I want to apologise. I was a bit of a jerk at school and later on I was … worse. I'm not apologising for all the petty arguments and things that we had – those weren't all my fault, and besides, we were just kids. But I … there are some things I need to apologise for. I'm not expecting your forgiveness, and there are some things we might never completely put behind us, but I need to do this."

He turned to Hermione.

"Some of the things I called you were … pretty unforgivable. I genuinely believed that your blood made you inferior to me, and that was completely wrong. I don't know if my upbringing is any sort of defence, but it did affect the way I saw people. I was blinded by prejudice and arrogance, but I can see things differently now. Several of my friends are muggleborns, and they're all wonderful people. And that time at Malfoy Manor …" all there of them winced, and he knew they knew what time he was talking about, "… I'm so sorry. I should have … tried to do something. Anything rather than just standing there and watching. I … I'm sorry."

Silence. Ron and Harry were listening in astonishment, mouths slightly open, and Hermione had tears in her eyes.

"Thank you," she said softly, "Thank you for apologising. Not that I blame you for what happened at Malfoy Manor. I knew what I was letting myself in for when I went up against the Death Eaters, and there wasn't anything you could have done. But it's nice to have it … acknowledged. And I know it must have taken a lot of courage to do this. And as for forgiving you, I did that a long time ago."

Draco felt something lifting off his heart, something he'd been carrying around for a long time. It felt incredible, liberating. It may have been one of the most terrifying things he'd ever done, but it had most certainly been worth it. Carrying things around with you just weighed you down, until the guilt became just about impossible to live with. Apologising, and receiving forgiveness, had made him feel free in a way he hadn't even imagined possible.

He found himself wishing he could share this discovery with his father, but he wasn't sure that would be possible. Lucius' guilt and denial went too deep. He didn't want to listen to anyone who told him otherwise, and Draco had never been one of the people he'd been most inclined to listen to, even at the best of times.

The four of them got up to leave.

"I hope you find more happiness than you did at school," Hermione said with a little smile, and Draco had no doubt that she meant it absolutely.

"Good luck with everything," said Harry warmly, shaking his hand.

"Yeah, good luck," agreed Ron, surprising all of them. They all turned to look at him.

"What?" he said defensively, "I'm not a complete jerk. If Hermione can forgive you then I can. I honestly wish you all the best."

"Thanks," Draco said sincerely. His three old enemies turned and walked away, and he stood where he was for a few moments, watching them go. He felt … strange. On one hand he felt humbler. They'd forgiven him without a second though, something he wasn't sure he'd have been able to do in their shoes, and that was a humbling experience. On the other hand, he was proud of himself. He'd done something that had terrified him, and that he'd never have believed he'd be able to do, and in doing so he'd redeemed himself somehow.

Well, he thought to himself, that went well.

"_I hope he's okay," Astoria said anxiously for the tenth time in as many minutes. Feeling that the shop could cope without her, she'd taken some time off to meet Hannah for a drink, and they were sitting in a little café just off Diagon Alley. Astoria had spent the entire time worrying about Draco, and if Hannah had been an impatient person she'd probably have got up and left by now. As it was, she merely rolled her eyes._

"_I'm sure he's absolutely fine," Hannah said gently, "Stop worrying about him. He's a 23-year-old man, not some little kid. He can take care of himself. All he's doing is having a conversation with a couple of old classmates. Nothing terrible is going to happen."_

"_You don't understand," sighed Astoria, "This is really important to him. Harry, Ron and Hermione may have been his enemies throughout school, but he's got a lot of respect for them, and this means a lot to him, more than even he is probably aware of. I'm just scared that if they're really horrible to him or whatever, it's going to destroy all the confidence he's built up."_

"_Well I don't know what they were like at school," said Hannah, "But since being married to Neville I've got to know Harry, Ron and Hermione very well, and they're anything but horrible. Ron may be a bit of a prat sometimes, and Harry's certainly got a temper, but they're all very mature people. I think they'll respect the courage it's taken for him to come and apologise – all Gryffindors are inclined to respect people more when they do something brave, I've noticed – and I think they'll treat him pretty well."_

"_I guess." Astoria still wasn't entirely reassured, but she was a little happier._

"_While we're on the subject of Draco," Hannah said, "I've got something I wanted to talk to you about. Neville's got a theory." _

_Astoria grinned. She'd come to realise that Neville could read people better than just about anyone else, and "Neville's got a theory" was almost always followed by some fascinating insight that nobody else could possibly have thought of, but that made complete sense once it was explained._

"_And what is this theory?" she asked._

"_He said it occurred to him after Draco asked about apologising to Harry, Ron and Hermione. He reckons Draco's using this obsession with obtaining forgiveness to hide some deeper issue. Not that apologising is bad in itself – and it probably will help him a lot – but Neville thinks there's more to it than that. He says that Draco tends to fixate on certain things that he has to achieve, as though achievement will somehow redeem him or prove that he's a good person or something, so that he doesn't have to deal with the real problem. Can you remember when he first brought up the idea of this apology?"_

"_On our anniversary, right after I asked him if he wanted to meet my parents," Astoria said, the memory coming back to her. It suddenly occurred to her that they'd never actually finished that conversation, after he distracted her by talking about Hermione. "Do you think he's having commitment issues?" _

"_I don't know," said Hannah, "I'm just repeating what Neville said. I just think maybe Draco's placing too much importance on this single action, and he's going to be in for a disappointment when it doesn't bring him the peace he's expecting."_

_Astoria was about to answer when the bell tinkled and she looked up to see Draco walk in, an enormous grin plastered all over his face. She didn't need to ask how it had gone, but simply leapt up and threw her arms around him._

"_I feel like a new person!" he exclaimed, "Like I've been given the chance to start all over again. A new beginning: that's what it is. A whole new beginning."_

_Astoria couldn't help but be swept up in his elation, but even as she listened to the entire story and congratulated him and celebrated with him she couldn't help but wonder: was it really a new beginning, or simply another step towards disappointment? _


	15. Of Lovers' Quarrels

**Of Lovers' Quarrels**

_Another few months went by without Astoria having any particular reason to worry about Draco. They still fought a little – what couple didn't? – and she hadn't yet brought up the conversation about him meeting her parents, and her meeting his father, again, but there was plenty of time for that._

_She found herself falling more deeply in love with him with every day. It scared her sometimes. She suddenly understood more clearly than ever why Narcissa stayed with Lucius, regardless of how he treated her. Previously she'd often found herself frustrated, wondering why Narcissa didn't just leave him if he was going to ignore and neglect her like that, but now she knew the strength of an attachment to someone that pulled you to them and meant you couldn't leave them even if you wanted to. She knew she would do the same for Draco. Not that she thought Draco would ever treat her like that but … well sometimes, when he was at his darkest, she saw the potential in him._

_It wasn't all depressing, though. In fact, that was the rare exception. Mostly she simply became happier and happier as their love grew, and something in her knew she would be with Draco for the rest of her life, and that she would enjoy every moment of it. She didn't tell him this, of course. In her experience, guys didn't like talking about the distant future, especially if, like Draco, there was the potential that they might have fears about commitment._

_A little while after the incident with Harry, Ron and Hermione, and Astoria's chat with Hannah, something that happened that rather unsettled her. Draco had invited her for dinner at their favourite restaurant – which they hadn't visited for quite a while – and she was hanging around at the Leaky Cauldron waiting for him to finish his shift. Aimlessly, she picked up a newspaper left on one of the tables by somebody and glanced at the front page. Then she gave a little gasp._

_On the front of the Daily Prophet, filling most of the front page, was an enormous picture of her and Draco, walking arm in arm down Diagon Alley._

_**Draco Malfoy's New Girlfriend: Gullible Victim Or Angel Of Redemption?**_

_Attempting to ignore this rather ridiculous headline, Astoria began to read the article. She skipped over the first couple of paragraphs, which detailed the crimes, conviction and eventual pardon of "the dastardly junior Death Eater, Draco Malfoy" and on to the part about her:_

In a shock discovery this week, the _Daily Prophet _discovered that the younger Mr Malfoy, who has kept a rather low profile for the last few years, is involved in what has been described by friends as a 'long term relationship' with the gorgeous Astoria Greengrass (21). This relationship has supposedly been going on for over a year, though the couple have been careful to avoid drawing attention to themselves. But does Miss Greengrass really know what she is letting herself on for, or has she, like so many girls before her, fallen prey to the rather dangerous charms of Draco Malfoy?

An ex-girlfriend of Draco, Pansy Parkinson, believes the latter. Talking to the _Daily Prophet _she reveals that she was once a victim of the alluring Draco Malfoy, and can sympathise with Astoria completely. "Just about every girl in the school was in love with him," she tells us, "so naturally I was thrilled when he showed an interest in me. But he never commits to anyone. He just uses girls and then throws them away. I just hope Astoria sees the real Draco before he breaks her heart."

_Scoffing at this ridiculous piece of journalism, Astoria skimmed through the rest of the article, in which the journalist wondered whether Astoria might be different to the rest of the girls, with "sources close to the couple" reporting that "the beautiful and inspiring war hero, Astoria Greengrass" has had "an incredible, redemptive influence on Draco, turning him into an almost unrecognizable person."_

_The article finished by concluding that redeeming Draco Malfoy was an impossible task, and that he was going to end up breaking Astoria's heart, though it commented that this was a shame because they were both so incredibly good-looking and made a beautiful couple. It was a superficial, ridiculous and terribly written article, but that didn't stop it from upsetting Astoria. To see her relationship cheapened for the entire world to see was … unsettling._

Draco could see that Astoria was upset about something the moment he arrived at the table she was sitting at, having finished work and changed into a suit for their date. Taking the newspaper that she wordlessly handed to him, he read the article quickly. It was typical of the gossipy, slanderous style of writing inspired by Rita Skeeter and carried on long after she stopped writing for the newspaper. Having had many such articles written about him a few years ago, after Harry first persuaded the Ministry to grant his family a pardon, Draco had learned to ignore them, but Astoria had had no such experience and was clearly upset.

"What a load of rubbish," he said, tossing the article aside dismissively and hoping she would forget about it. She didn't, however. She didn't exactly go on about it, but she was unusually quiet as they made their way to the restaurant and were shown to their usual table.

"Don't take any notice of it," he said after they ordered, "It's not a big deal. The Prophet print articles like that all the time, and nobody with a grain of sense believes a word of them. And Pansy just jumps at any opportunity to sell the press a horrible story about me. I suppose I didn't exactly treat her brilliantly back at school, but everybody knows not to believe anything Pansy says."

This didn't seem to cheer her up very much, and another worry occurred to him.

"You don't … _believe _the article, do you?" he asked tentatively, "I mean you don't … you don't actually think that I'm just using you? Because I'm not. You _must _know I'm not. All that stuff about me being a player – none of it's true. I haven't dated hundreds of girls. In fact you're the second, and actually Pansy and I were so on and off I'm not sure we really counted. And I didn't sleep with have the year, like Pansy seems to want people to think. In fact I've never … I haven't …" he tailed off, blushing. The phobia of talking directly about something like sex was a pureblood characteristic ingrained far more deeply than the manners or the unwillingness to actually work to earn money, or even the dislike of muggles and muggleborns, and it wasn't one he had quite managed to shake yet. Astoria, brought up in a similar manner, seemed to understand.

"It's funny," she mused, "I must have broken just about every rule my parents ever made, except for the one about sex before marriage. I know it's old-fashioned and probably a bit silly – and Matthew used to get very annoyed and try to pressure me into sleeping with him – but I never did. I want to wait until I'm married. I guess I should probably keep at least _one_ of my parents' rules, and so I'm going to wait until my wedding night. Besides, it seems … right."

In retrospect, Draco should have said something very different at that moment, and things might have turned out very differently that evening. If everyone behaved as they would have in retrospect, however, they would never make any mistakes, and it is from our mistakes that the best things often spring. And besides, if nobody made any mistakes then we'd all be perfect, and that goes against the basic foundation of human nature. After all, who would want to be perfect?

"But _do _you believe what the article said?" was what he actually asked, returning to the insecure worry he couldn't let go of, "Please tell me you don't believe all that rubbish Pansy spouted about me."

"Of course I don't believe it," Astoria snapped, calm and reflective mood gone, "How stupid do you think I am?"

Draco wisely didn't answer, and fortunately for them both their meals arrived at that moment, providing them with a reasonable excuse not to talk for a little while.

_Astoria could feel her frustration building up as she ate. All the little things that annoyed her about Draco – his insecurity, his inability to commit, the way he obsessed over the tiniest things and couldn't let go of the past – suddenly seemed very big and very important. Perhaps it was simply because she was having a bad week, and needed someone to take it out on. Perhaps she was in a particularly bad mood that evening. Perhaps she would have snapped eventually, and this evening simply happened to be when it was going to happen. All she knew was that she could suddenly only see all of Draco's faults, and none of the things she loved him for, and they had all become too much._

_I'll ask him about meeting parents again, she thought, and see how he answers. She was giving him one last chance to get it right, and if he didn't then they needed to seriously consider where this relationship was going._

_Some reasonable part of her knew deep down that it was unfair to expect Draco to pass a test he didn't even know he was sitting, but she was in too unreasonable a mood to listen to it._

"_So I was thinking maybe I could come round to Malfoy Manor this weekend," she said casually, "It's a bit ridiculous really, that I still haven't met your father. And then maybe at some point you could come to my parents' place at some point for dinner. They're looking forward to seeing you."_

_Draco went rather pale._

"_This … this weekend?" he asked, "Surely there's no hurry?"_

_That was it for Astoria._

"_No hurry?" she repeated sarcastically, "No there's no hurry … except that we've been together for over a year and I _still _haven't met your father. What's the problem, Draco? Is he really that terrible? Or are you, for all your fine words, still too scared to admit to Daddy that you're dating a Ravenclaw who hangs out with muggleborns and fought on the wrong side during the war? Are you ashamed of me, Draco, is that it? Am I not good enough to meet your father?"_

Draco could hardly believe what was coming out of Astoria's mouth. How _dare _she say something like that? How could she possibly believe that he thought that?

"Ashamed of you?" he spat back, temper flaring, "Well, you can talk! You didn't exactly seem thrilled to have your name linked to mine in the paper, and a picture of the two of us visible for everyone to see. Is it bad for your reputation, being known to be dating the infamous Draco Malfoy? Doesn't exactly look good, does it, for the wonderful war hero to be associated with a former Death Eater?"

"How _dare _you?" She stood up very quickly, her voice rising to a shriek. Just about everyone in the restaurant was staring at them now, but she didn't seem to care. "How _dare _you say that? Do you know how many arguments I've had with multiple friends who don't think I should be going out with you? Do you know how many times I've had to defend you, and tell them that you're not the terrible person they all think you are? And yet I've never _once _felt ashamed to be seen with you. But maybe they were right. Maybe the stupid Daily Prophet was right. Maybe it _was _stupid for me to go out with you, and to believe so naively that people can change. Maybe this was all just one stupid, big mistake."

Turning on her heel and dismissing the gawping customers of the restaurant with a contemptuous glare, she swept out the door.

Still angry, Draco threw some notes down on the table and left shortly after her. While walking back to his flat, however (walking did wonders for clearing his mind) he began to calm down and realise what an idiot he'd been. Why had he accused her of being ashamed of him? What on _earth _had he been thinking? If only he'd just denied being ashamed of her, and agreed to invite her round to meet his father, and to meet her parents. After all, she was right. They'd been going out for ages, and it wasn't like the commitment scared him, which was probably what she though. Far from it, in fact.

So why _had _he been so against the idea?

Unable to come up with a reasonable answer for this in his confused state of mind, he resolved to go home and sleep for a while. Perhaps things would look clearer in the morning.

_Astoria was very relieved when she remembered that her flatmate, Katherine, was away for a couple of weeks visiting family, and so wouldn't be there when she got back to the flat. She wasn't in a state to try and explain anything to a well-meaning but unhelpful friend. She just wanted to curl up under the duvet and cry for a few hours._

_It was odd – she had been absolutely desperate to confide in her friends and very grateful for their support after she broke up with Matthew, and yet this time she didn't want to see anyone. Then again, this wasn't an actual break-up. Was it? She wasn't really sure. It had been her who had walked out, not him, and so really it was up to her what this was. She just wasn't really sure what exactly she wanted right now._

_She was still very angry with Draco. The way he kept avoiding the issue of meeting parents was incredibly frustrating, and he shouldn't have said what he had about her being ashamed of him. Then again, as she calmed down she was beginning to realise that she had said some things she shouldn't have, too._

_Perhaps she'd be able to figure it out in the morning. Right now, she just felt absolutely exhausted. When she got back into the flat, she collapsed into bed and, without even having to cry herself to sleep, fell into unconsciousness. _


	16. Promises Broken And Promises Made

**Promises Made And Promises Broken**

"Draco, you look awful," was his mother's oh-so-comforting greeting when she opened the door to find him standing on the doorstep. He knew he looked a mess, but somehow he couldn't bring himself to care.

"Astoria and I had a fight," he said shortly.

"Oh, Draco, darling." She pulled him inside and enveloped him in an enormous hug. He tensed a little, still unused to so much physical closeness between them after a childhood of never showing too much emotion or affection, but then relaxed into her, burying his head in her shoulder and feeling about five. If only he still was, still young enough that she could give him a hug and promise to make everything better for him.

She couldn't, though. _He'd _mucked it up with Astoria, and there was nothing she could do about that.

They went through to a sitting room, and sat in silence for a little while. There was no need to say anything. Just knowing that she was there for him was enough. He began to wonder how different his childhood might have been if he'd been able to come to his mother when he was struggling with something, and know that she'd just hug him and be there for him, without judging or blaming him like his father had.

Not that he blamed her. It hadn't been her fault. Lucius had dominated the family, and he'd ensured that any sort of affection or "weakness" was eradicated as soon as it became apparent. Even if she'd attempted to show him some sort of love, Draco was sure he would probably have pushed her away in imitation of his father.

He wasn't sure if it was his father's absence, still locked away in his study, that had allowed his mother to behave differently, or whether the war had changed her the way it had changed so many others.

Perhaps it was a bit of both.

"Do you want to talk about it?" his mother asked eventually.

"Not … not yet," he said, "It's still too … too recent. I can't quite process it myself yet, and I'm not sure what it means. I'm not sure if she was leaving me for good, or if I should go and apologise, or if I actually _want _to apologise. I don't know if it's too late."

"It's never too late," was all his mother said. Then she glanced at the clock on the mantelpiece.

"Are you missing work today?" she asked. Draco looked too, then swore quietly. He was supposed to have been at the Leaky Cauldron twenty minutes ago.

"No, I'm not," he said, standing up very quickly, "I'd better go, Mother. I'll see you this evening probably. Thank you for … for being here."

"I made a promise the day you were born," she said quietly, so quietly he wasn't sure she was actually talking to him, but rather to herself, "Lucius and I both did. We promised we'd never let anything hurt you. Looking back, that was rather a ridiculous thing to say, and we've failed spectacularly. I just … please don't give up on Astoria. She did a better job protecting you from hurt than your father and I ever did, and I … when you were with her, I felt like perhaps at last you'd found the life you'd have had if Lucius and I had been better parents. The life you deserved. Please don't give up on that, Draco."

Making no promises – it was time people stopped making promises they couldn't keep – Draco kissed his mother quickly on the cheek and walked down the driveway towards the gates, outside which he could disapparate. He wished his father would come to his senses. Much as they didn't get on, his mother was pining away without him. This wasn't the first time she'd come out with something like that, rambling about some past memory or about her regrets and the things she wanted to apologise for. While it was hard to see how his mother could still love Lucius after everything, somehow she did, and she needed him desperately. It was something he could understand. He could only imagine how he'd behave if he lost Astoria, and he knew he couldn't let this split be a permanent one. He just wasn't sure how to fix it. Not right now.

When he apparated into the Leaky Cauldron, Hannah took one look at him and told him to go and sit in her office.

"You're not working in that state," she said firmly, "Go and sit down for a while. You look half-dead."

It was true that he hadn't exactly slept very well last night, and that he hadn't made much effort with his appearance this morning, but it was getting a little embarrassing to have people keep telling him how bad he looked. Wasn't it considered polite to avoid bringing up that sort of thing?

Knowing that resistance would be futile, Draco obeyed Hannah and went to sit in her office. Slumping into the sofa in the corner of the room, he buried his head in his hands, wondering what on earth he was going to do.

A few minutes later, Neville came in.

"It's Astoria, isn't it?" he asked. Draco nodded.

"Well, this is an unexpected turn of events," he said, "Last time I checked you were blissfully happy and convinced you'd be spending the rest of your life with her. What happened?"

Briefly, but leaving out nothing, however painful, Draco described the events of the previous evening. He hadn't been able to tell his mother, but somehow with Neville it was different. Neville had listened to a lot of his confessions over the last year – confessions about his childhood, and about the War, and about all the things he regretted, as well as confessions about his feelings for Astoria – and Draco had discovered that for someone so incredibly _good_, he was surprisingly understanding of those who weren't as perfect and unblemished as himself.

"How do you and Hannah do it?" Draco asked when he'd finished the story, "I mean, you got married so young, and everyone was sure you'd split up within months, and yet you never even seem to fight. How do you manage it?"

"Oh, we _do _fight," Neville said, smiling wryly, "Not so much recently, but when we first took over the Leaky Cauldron and were still finding our feet as a new couple and trying to recover from the War and everything, we used to fight constantly. Most of it was just meaningless bickering, but every so often we'd have a massive, full-blown argument, and sometimes I'd genuinely think it was over between us."

"So how did you fix it?" Draco asked, very curious now. It was hard to imagine Neville and Hannah fighting. They always seemed so happy together. Neville smiled again.

"I don't have some amazing piece of advice for you, Draco," he said gently, "There's no miraculous way of sorting everything out. When Hannah and I fight, we yell for a while, leave absolutely furious, and refuse to talk to each other for a few hours, days, weeks – whatever it takes. And then one of us apologises – normally me, because I realise that actually Hannah's right, as she almost always is – and then we talk it out for a while, and sometimes we end up fighting even more, but eventually we sort something out. Or we realise that we're being stupid, and just drop the issue. Relationships take work, Draco. You can't give up the moment the two of you disagree about something, or think it's over just because you both said some things you shouldn't have."

"So I should go and apologise?"

"Yeah, you probably should. And figure out some solution to the problem about meeting parents. Or at least try and explain your point of view to Astoria. Personally, I have no idea what the issue is, and if I feel like that, then she must be very confused."

"I didn't really understand it myself," Draco confessed, "But I think I'm beginning to. I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do yet, but it's starting to make more sense. I'll wait until this evening, though. My shift ends early tonight, I think, and hopefully by then I'll have had time to think about it. Thanks, Neville."

"Any time."

And he did have time to think about it, and indeed to figure out a lot of things. It was all a little clearer in his head, and by the time evening came he knew what he needed to do.

_Astoria woke to sunlight streaming through the windows and realised she had neglected to close the curtains properly last night. The light was hurting her eyes so she closed them now, but there was no way she would get back to sleep now. With a sigh, she sat on the bed, letting the events of the previous evening play through her mind. While it would often take her a few disorientated minutes in the morning to recall where she was, and what had happened the day before, that was not the case today. She remembered it all the moment she woke, and a heavy feeling settled in her stomach. _

_If she'd been hoping that her anger would abate overnight, or that things would make more sense in the morning, she was disappointed. Sleep had done nothing to help. _

_Pulling on an old pair of jeans and a baggy t-shirt that she often wore when she was spending a lazy day at home, she grabbed the phone and called in to say that she wouldn't make it to work today, and that they'd have to hold the fort without her. It was a little unfair on them, especially considering Katherine was away right now too, but what was the point in being manager if you couldn't take a day off every so often?_

_That done, she settled down to a day of eating her way through all the chocolate in the house, and crying over soppy, romantic movies. She banished the little voice in the back of her head that told her there were far more useful things she could be doing than sitting around feeling sorry for herself, and, as it turned out, it was actually a very beneficial way to spend the day. By five o'clock that evening she was feeling a good deal calmer, and had figured some things out._

_The first was that this wasn't a permanent break-up. It couldn't be, because she couldn't live without Draco. That sounded ridiculous and melodramatic – perhaps a product of all the romances she'd been watching – but it was the simple truth of the matter. This wasn't like with Matthew, when going on without him had seemed ridiculously hard. Going on without Draco wouldn't be hard; it simply wasn't possible. Her life without Draco in it wouldn't be her life at all. _

_The second was that she was still annoyed with him for being so difficult about the issue with their parents. Perhaps she shouldn't have been so quick to accuse him of being ashamed of her, but she just couldn't think of another plausible reason. Why else would he be so averse to letting her meet his father? And while she could understand that his father's approval had always been important to him, this just seemed a bit ridiculous. Surely he cared enough about her not to let the opinion of someone he claimed to despise affect their relationship?_

_And the third was that she wanted him to be the one to apologise. She knew it was probably unreasonable, and that she had behaved just as badly as he had, but somehow she felt that if he could swallow his pride long enough to come and apologise to her then she could forgive him for everything else. _

_It was just as she reached this conclusion that the doorbell rang. _

_She opened the door to find Draco standing there, drenched in the torrential rain she hadn't even realised was falling. It was so precisely like something out of the movies that she had just been watching that for a moment she wondered whether she was imagining him._

"_D-Draco?" _

"_You're wearing my t-shirt."_

"_What?" his remark was so completely unexpected that she wondered whether she'd heard him correctly._

"_You're wearing my t-shirt," he repeated, "The one I lent you after you stayed the night, the first time we met. I didn't realise you still had it."_

"_Oh." She looked down at the t-shirt, realising that it was, indeed, the one he had lent to her. She'd never got round to returning it, and had now had it for so long she'd forgotten where it had originally come from. It had been an automatic choice to put it on this morning, without even considering who it had once belonged to. It was the t-shirt she wore when she was tired or ill or upset, and just wanted to curl up on the sofa and feel warm and secure. It made her feel safe._

_Somehow she didn't think that was a coincidence._

"_Draco, I … what are you doing here?"_

_He took a deep breath._

"_I'm here to explain," he said, "I've been … confused, but I think I've sort of figured it out now."_

_She remained silent, not trusting herself to speak, and wanting him to go on._

"_I wasn't sure before why I was so reluctant to let you meet my parents, or to let you introduce me to yours. It wasn't because of any sort of worries about commitment, though, or because I was ashamed of you. Far from it. I know you weren't exactly thrilled about that newspaper article, but when I saw the picture of us on the front, and our names linked together for everyone to see, I felt so incredibly proud. While I still have no idea what I did to make you fall in love with me, it's the only worthwhile thing I've done in my life. I could _never _be ashamed of that. _

"_The truth is that I was ashamed of _me, _and of my family. I didn't want to introduce you to my father, because I was worried that he'd say something really awful, or that he'd treat you really badly. And I was scared of meeting your parents because I though that maybe they'd realise that I don't deserve you, and that they'd call me out on it and tell me that I have no right to date their daughter."_

_Astoria noticed the use of past tense, but didn't comment. Instead she took his hands carefully in her own and looked directly into his eyes._

"_And doesn't _my _opinion matter, Draco?" she asked softly, "I'm not ashamed of you in the slightest, and I can handle anything your father decides to say. It's time you stopped claiming you don't deserve me. Love doesn't work like that. None of us _deserve _love. It's an incredible blessing that we're lucky enough to have, and to reject that would be the most ridiculous, ungrateful thing we could do. I love you, Draco, and I thought that mattered more than past mistakes and people's opinions."_

"_That's what I realised," he agreed, "I've been thinking about it all day and I realised that denying myself, and you, a future of happiness because I was stupid in the past would be the worst thing I could do. I may not deserve you now, but from now on I'm going to do everything in my power to try and deserve you._

"_I'd planned a very different evening for us yesterday than the one we ended up having, and I think we're both a little to blame for the fact that it didn't work out the way I intended it to, but that's not important now. There was a reason I wanted us to go to that particular restaurant last night, and there was a reason I wanted it to be a particularly special evening. _

"_Over the year or so since we first met, you have changed my life dramatically. You saved me when I thought I was beyond saving, and you loved me when no one else would. You've changed me in a way I could never even have imagined a couple of years ago, and shown me a happiness I didn't think was possible. I still don't know why you're wasting your time with an idiot like me, but I do know that I'm very glad you are. Just seeing you smile and knowing that I'm the reason is … indescribably amazing. And if you'll let me, I'd like to spend the rest of my life trying to keep that smile on your face."_

_Drawing a little box from his pocket, he knelt down in front of her, water running down his face and dripping from his hair. _

"_I probably could have bought you a much nicer ring with the family money," he admitted, "But I didn't want to do that. I wanted it to be something that was entirely from me, so I've been saving up for months. _

"_Astoria Greengrass, you are the most incredible person I've met in my life, and I can't even begin to tell you how much I love you. I know I messed up yesterday, and I doubt it'll be the last time I'll mess up, but I promise that I will do everything in my power to fix it again if I do. I can't promise you that I'll never hurt you, or that we'll never fall out, or that our life will be perfect, but I can promise that I will never, ever stop loving you. Astoria, will you marry me?"_

_Astoria was barely aware of gasping, "Yes!" and flinging herself forwards into his arms as he stood up, but the next minute they were kissing in the rain and it was precisely like one of those romantic movies because everyone knows that surprise proposals and kissing in the rain don't happen in real life, except that this _was_ real and Draco was real and the all-consuming, overwhelming happiness that was overflowing in her soul was very, very real indeed. _

_She recalled a promise she'd made to herself a long time ago, just after she broke up with Matthew, to never allow herself to become so dependent on anyone ever again, and never to get so close to a guy that they could hurt you like that._

_Then again, some promises were meant to be broken._


	17. Quarrels Resolved

**A/N: A lot of people were asking after the previous chapter whether that was the end. I can assure you it most definitely wasn't, and that I intend to carry on for a little while longer. Thanks for sticking with this story, and thank you particularly to everyone who's reviewed.**

**Enjoy!**

**Quarrels Resolved**

_Astoria was nervous. _

_In fact, she was more than nervous. She was absolutely terrified. She wanted to tell Draco that this was a bad idea, and that they should wait a little while, but after the fuss she'd made about it that would seem a little hypocritical. _

_She could do this. She just had to grin and bear it._

"_You ready, Tori?" Draco gave her a small smile, taking her hand. Astoria grinned nervously back at her fiancée – fiancée! – and nodded._

_Draco rang the doorbell._

_Moments later, Narcissa opened the door, smiling radiantly when she saw them._

"_Astoria! How lovely to see you again. Do come in." She ushered them inside and through to a small sitting room. Astoria couldn't help but gape a little at the gorgeous manor. She'd been here before, but not since she was very little, and although her parents' home was very grand, it was nothing compared to the elegance and obvious luxury of Malfoy Manor._

_They all sat down, and for a moment there was an awkward silence, before Draco spoke._

"_Mother, we were hoping to speak to both you and Father." He was very formal, Astoria noticed. She had no doubt, having heard him speak very affectionately of his mother, that they genuinely cared about one another, but there was an atmosphere of formality between them that kept them apart. It was a shame._

"_To your Father?" Narcissa repeated, "I … I'm not sure if that will be possible. He hasn't come downstairs in … I can't even remember how long."_

"_I know," Draco replied gently, "But this is important, Mother. He needs to be here." _

_She hesitated for a moment, and then nodded._

"_Of course. I'll go and talk to him." _

_She rose and exited the room, and Draco and Astoria smiled reassuringly at one another. _

"_It's going to be okay," Astoria told him, trying to convince herself as much as him, "Your father's going to take it fine."_

"_I hope so."_

"_What's all this about, Draco?" They both looked up at the voice from the doorway. Lucius Malfoy stood there, glaring at them both. Something about him exuded power and authority, and Astoria couldn't help but shrink back in her chair a little. She could understand why Draco had always been so afraid of his father. He couldn't have been a nice man to grow up with._

_Draco, however, seemed undaunted._

"_Please sit down, Father," he said coldly, gesturing to the chairs. Stiffly, Lucius took a seat, and Narcissa perched nervously on the chair beside his._

"_As I believe you're both aware," Draco began, "Astoria and I have been together for well over a year now. And yet she's only met Mother once and Father I've never introduced you to her at all. I suppose I was a little apprehensive about you meeting her, which was silly really. I know better now, and that's why I'm officially introducing her to you."_

_He stood up, taking Astoria's hand and helping her to her feet._

"_Father," he said very formally, "It is my great pleasure to introduce you to my fiancée, Astoria Greengrass. Astoria, this is my father." He said it very seriously, but she could see a slight grin forming on his lips as he watched his parents register what he had just said._

_Narcissa was the first to react. Her eyes flew to Astoria's left hand as her lips silently formed the words "my fiancée, Astoria Greengrass"._

_She leapt to her feet with a little shriek._

"_Draco, that's wonderful! Congratulations, both of you! I can't believe … last time I saw you I was so worried. You seemed so upset and now you're so happy."_

_She enveloped Astoria in an enormous hug._

"_Thank you," she whispered, "Thank you for making him smile again."_

_Astoria nodded._

_Then they all turned to see Lucius, who had been silent for rather a while._

"_Congratulations, Draco," he said, a rather sarcastic note to his voice, "You've succeeded in making the biggest mistake you'll ever make in your life. You've fallen for a pretty face and been tricked into giving up your freedom. At least she's a pureblood, I suppose. The fact that she's also a traitor can't really be helped, really, can it? Just remember in twenty years time when you're married to a woman you can't stand, who isn't even good-looking anymore, that I warned you."_

_Narcissa gasped as if she'd been slapped, and collapsed onto a chair. Astoria turned to her, shocked at what Lucius had said. She'd known the relationship between them wasn't great, but to see him speak so coldly and cruelly about the wife who clearly loved him was worse than she'd expected._

_There was the sound of fist hitting flesh behind her, and a startled cry. She swung round._

_Lucius was lying on the ground, blood spilling from his nose, absolute astonishment on his face._

_Draco stood over him, fist clenched, face very white._

"_How dare you?" he spat, "How dare you talk about her like that? I can live with you treating _me_ badly. You've always been a shitty father, and there's no reason for me to expect that to change now. I will even accept you disliking Astoria, ridiculous and prejudiced though that is. We don't need your approval or your good opinion. But Mother has done nothing but love you. You've treated her despicably over the last few years, and yet she continues to take care of you, regardless of you showing her no gratitude whatsoever. You don't deserve her, and you never will, but the least you could do is try." He turned away from his father._

"_Mother, Astoria," he said, "Why don't we go and get some lunch? We could go to that lovely little restaurant that just opened up in Diagon Alley."_

_Astoria nodded, as did Narcissa, and the three of them made their way towards the door. Astoria glanced back at Lucius, still sitting on the carpet. He no longer looked so scary or authoritative. There were dark shadows under his eyes that she hadn't noticed before, and the wrinkles on his face seemed suddenly very pronounced. He looked old and tired, and in spite of herself, Astoria couldn't help but pity him. She turned and walked back towards him, offering him her hand. After a moment's hesitation, he took it and she helped him to his feet._

"_Why don't you join us for lunch?" she offered. Lucius looked at her in surprise. For a moment it seemed he would refuse, then he silently turned to face Narcissa._

"_Narcissa, I … I'm sorry. Draco's right. I've been such an idiot. But I swear I didn't mean what I said. I just … I don't know what I was thinking. I'm so sorry, Narcissa. I love you." He looked so absolutely woebegone and penitent that Astoria knew it was the absolute truth. She always knew, without having to hear the answer, that Narcissa would forgive him._

_She was not disappointed. Silently, very slowly, Narcissa nodded, blinking tears from her eyes. The two exchanged a look that seemed to carry more meaning than a thousand apologies ever could, and Astoria knew that it was resolved between them. Perhaps it would be a while before they could overcome everything that had come between and entirely restore their relationship, but it had begun._

_Now Lucius turned to Draco, his expression apprehensive._

"_Draco, you've grown up so much. You're a better man than I ever was, and you're engaged to a wonderful woman. I'm sorry I called her a traitor, but honestly that was a compliment. She was brave enough to stand up for what was right – more than I ever did. I wish you both the greatest happiness together. I … I'm sorry."_

_Draco was silent. Astoria decided to repeat her offer._

"_So you'll join us for lunch?" she asked. Lucius looked at Draco._

"_If you want me to. If you're not ashamed to be seen with me."_

_Draco shook his head._

"_Not ashamed, no," he said, "I learned a long time ago to pay no heed to what others think of me. You're welcome to join us if you wish to."_

"_I will. Thank you, Draco."_

_Astoria smiled._

Draco was nervous.

Actually, nervous was probably an understatement. He could feel his hands shaking, and was trying very hard not to show how scared he was. It seemed a little ridiculous, after everything he'd been through, to be scared of meeting his girlfriend's parents, but at this particular moment in time he'd have happily taken Voldemort's wrath over meeting Mr and Mrs Greengrass.

He couldn't help but compare himself to Astoria. Not only had both of his parents declared her the most charming young woman they'd ever met, she'd actually succeeded in repairing their marriage and reconciling them to one another on her very first visit to Malfoy Manor. How could he possibly hope to live up to that?

The answer, of course, was that he couldn't.

"Astoria! What a lovely surprise. Do come in, both of you."

The tall, blonde woman who could only be Astoria's mother showed them through to a small parlour, sending a house elf to fetch her husband. They sat down, Draco and Astoria on chairs beside each other, while her parents sat directly opposite them, giving Draco the rather unnerving sense that he was about to be interrogated.

"So what brings the two of you here?" Mrs Greengrass asked with a polite smile.

"Well, I decided it was about time you met Draco," Astoria began, "Mum, Dad, I'm sure you've realised by now that this is Draco Malfoy, who I've been seeing for over a year now. Draco, these are my parents."

"A pleasure to meet you," he said politely, and they nodded their agreement.

"And we also have some rather exciting news for you," Astoria continued, "Draco, would you like to tell them?" Shooting her a quick glare, Draco turned back to Mr and Mrs Greengrass.

"I'm aware that I didn't exactly do this the traditional way," he said, "And that I should have asked your permission first, but a week ago I asked your daughter to marry me, and she did me the incredible honour of agreeing to become my wife."

"Well, that's lovely," said Mrs Greengrass, "Don't you think so, honey?"

"Indeed," was her husband's response, "Congratulations. It's about time _one _of my daughters got married. I've just about given up on Daphne. Four years her and Theodore have been together, and he's yet to make an honest woman of her. Well done, Astoria."

As her parents began to discuss wedding dates and venues, Draco saw Astoria roll her eyes. He squeezed her hand and she smiled at him.

"We haven't really thought about dates yet," she told her parents, "We'll let you know once we've got some more definite plans."

"Of course, dear. Don't wait too long, though. There's nothing worse than a long engagement."

"Yes, Mum."

"_Well, that went pretty well," said Astoria as they sat down for lunch in a little café. They'd just escaped from her parents – who were determined to at least decide what the budget was going to be for the wedding – and were grabbing a quick drink before heading to a party Daphne was throwing in order for them to announce the good news to all their friends._

"_Better than I expected," Draco agreed, "Though I'll admit I was absolutely terrified waiting to meet your parents."_

"_I reckon they liked you," Astoria told him, "I think the fact that you didn't punch anyone probably helped."_

_Draco blushed. _

"_Yeah, I guess that probably wasn't the best thing to do while introducing my fiancée to my parents. But Father was really asking for it."_

"_It worked," Astoria said with a grin, "It's a shame that it took you punching him in the face for your father to finally gain some respect for you, and come to his senses regarding his wife and the marriage that was falling apart, but for some reason it did. I think it's good you finally stood up to him."_

"_It's something I should have done a long time ago," Draco admitted, "Not punch him in the face perhaps, but stand up to him in some way and tell him that Mother and I won't be walked all over anymore."_

"_Are he and your mother getting on better now, then?" Astoria asked. Having witnessed such a dramatic scene on her very first visit to Malfoy Manor, she was hoping that some peace might now be restored to the family._

"_Much better, yes," Draco told her, "They had to clear up a bunch of stuff first, obviously. Mother's been keeping a lot of stuff locked up inside for a long time, and I came into the house the other day to hear her absolutely screaming at Father. As far as I can tell, she yelled for hours until she'd just about lost her voice, letting out all the things that she's angry with him for but hasn't dealt with before. Father felt absolutely awful afterwards. He came to my flat – the first time either of my parents has visited me there – and he looked distraught. He wanted to know what I thought he could do to make it up to her. I think that must be the first time he's ever admitted to doing something wrong and come to me for advice."_

"_And what did you tell him?" Astoria was enthralled now._

"_I told him he should be with her, not sitting in my flat feeling sorry for himself. I told him maybe the two of them should start afresh. I told him how she'd been remembering the times in the past when he used to be so romantic and take her out dancing and bring her flowers and tell her she was beautiful. He took my advice – went out and bought the most enormous bouquet of flowers and headed home to apologise."_

"_And did it work?"_

"_Well over the last week they've been to two balls together, gone for several long walks in the countryside, he's bought enough flowers to fill the entire manor and they're sleeping in the same room again for the first time in years. I'd say it probably worked." _

_Astoria smiled. It was nice to know that, as she got her own happy ending, Narcissa Malfoy was getting hers too._

"_I hope that if we ever fall out in our marriage you'll remember to take your own advice," she said softly, smiling up at Draco. He returned her smile, offering her his arm as the exited the shop._

"_I hope I never have to," he said. _


	18. Rings

**Rings**

"Draco? Are you in there? We need to go over a few last minute details for the seating plan. Daphne's just about freaking out because she insists she needs you to check something, and she couldn't find you anywhere." Astoria's voice drifted through the door to where Draco was sitting on the bed in his old bedroom, knees pulled up to his chest, staring out of the window.

"I'm in here," he called, "Come on in."

"Yeah, I figured you might be," she said brightly, pushing the door open. Her face fell when she saw the look on his face and she came in and sat on the bed next to him.

"What's wrong?" she asked, "You getting cold feet? Cos I know the wedding's tomorrow but it's still not too late to pull out if you don't feel like you're ready yet."

She said it very sincerely, and he had no doubt that she absolutely meant it. If he'd wanted to cancel the wedding she'd have done so instantly, with no anger or accusations or frustration. She'd have been disappointed, but she'd have hidden it for his sake. That was what always amazed him about Astoria: her incredible unselfishness. She would bottle up her own feelings so as never to hurt anyone else. While mostly very confident, there was a tiny, insecure part of her that needed people to like her, and that meant she would go out of her way to be as nice to everyone as possible.

This was just one of many things Draco knew about Astoria that most of the world never realised. He could read her so well now, see the flicker of hurt in her eyes when somebody said something that upset her, even when her lips continued to smile, tell her mood the moment he walked into the room regardless of how well she hid it from everyone else. The more he came to know her the more deeply he loved her.

"No," he said, "I don't want to call off the wedding. I guess … I guess I just keep expecting _you _to suddenly realise that you want to call off the wedding, and that you don't want to get married to _me._"

She didn't say anything, simply waiting in silence for him to continue.

"I don't deserve you, Tori, and I'm scared I'm going to mess this up, like I've messed up everything else. Sitting here in this room, I remember so much that I wanted to do with my life, and so much that I aspired to. I thought that I wanted to be like my father, but something in me wanted more than that. Something in me knew that there was more to life than becoming a Ministry employee and a Death Eater, and knew that deep down I wanted to achieve real greatness. And what happened? I fell short, even of my father's standards. And if I can't even achieve his mediocre kind of success then how can I possibly expect to do better than that? I just seem to fail at everything I attempt. And it's all very well to mess up my own life through my inability to do anything right, but it's not fair for me to mess up yours too. I'm scared. I'm scared that I'm going to fail at this marriage like I've failed at everything I've done before, and you deserve better than that."

Astoria sighed.

"You're thinking about it completely wrong," she said patiently, "As long as you think of marriage as a task that you need to succeed at, it's never going to work. Being married isn't supposed to be something difficult. Potions essays are difficult. Advanced Transfiguration is difficult. Getting married is … well it's more like learning the alphabet. Perhaps it'll take us a little while to figure out at the beginning, but once we get the hang of it it'll just become a natural part of our lives. Something we couldn't imagine getting by without, and can't understand how we got by without before. Or at least that's how I imagine it. And there's no doubt we'll go through difficult things in our lives, but we'll be together and we'll always have one another to fall back on. That's how I see marriage as being. And so long as you really do love me, and really do want to spend the rest of your life with me, then there's nothing else worth worrying about."

Draco considered that for a moment. When she put it like that, it seemed considerably less scary and a lot less pressure. The idea that they were simply joining together in order to muddle through the rest of their lives together – rather than alone – was a nice one. He wasn't sure what exactly he had been so worried about. Astoria was right. This wasn't difficult. It was simple. Simple as learning the alphabet. Simple as ABC.

"_Oh, you look gorgeous, Tori!" Daphne gasped as Astoria turned around. Several of Astoria's friends had just spent the last three hours styling her hair, perfecting her make-up and helping her into her dress, and even she had to admit she looked pretty. Since she was little she'd fantasised, as most girls do, about her wedding day and what she'd wear and how she'd look. So far it was exceeding even her expectations. Her dress was beautiful, the arrangements for the day were all exactly how she wanted them, and although the guy she was marrying wasn't perfect, he was perfect for her. She could think of no one she would be happier spending her life with._

_Her stomach fluttered with nerves, but that was just part of the experience. She'd have been disappointed if she _weren't _nervous on her wedding day. Nerves always preceded the best experiences of her life: the day she started Hogwarts, her first kiss, her first kiss with Draco, her first day at work. It was good to be nervous. _

"_Are you ready, Astoria?" her dad asked, coming into the room, "Because it's just about time."_

"_I'm ready," Astoria replied, turning away from the mirror and towards her dad. He looked approving when he saw her appearance, but not proud and amazed, the way she had always hoped he would. Her dad was too perfect a pureblood to show actual _emotion_, even on his daughter's wedding day. _

_She tried not to let it bother her. Her dad had never been proud of her before; why should he start now? After all, the whole point of him "giving her away" was that she was leaving his family and starting a new one with Draco. Very soon she would be Mrs Malfoy, and she could leave her old family behind for good._

_Well, perhaps not the whole of her old family, she amended as Daphne took her place ahead of them as Maid of Honour. No matter where she went and who she married, Daphne would always be her best friend, confidante and adoring sister. Daphne had been the one to love her when her parents didn't and see her for who she really was when everyone else simply saw the mask she wore, and nothing would change the bond shared by the sisters. Nothing._

_Daphne turned to face her just before they walked into the hall, beaming radiantly._

"_You ready, Tori?" she asked._

"_Absolutely," Astoria replied._

Standing at the top of the hall, nervously awaiting his bride's arrival, Draco was beginning to panic. Neville, his best man, gave him a supportive grin.

"You'll be fine," he muttered, "I was terrified at my wedding. I was kind of worried I was going to throw up or something. But the moment Astoria walks through that door it'll all seem fine."

Draco nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He focused on taking deep breaths, reminding himself of what Astoria had said earlier. This wasn't a test or something he could fail at. He was simply agreeing to love Astoria forever, and that wasn't something that would be difficult for him. It was simple.

He found himself reciting the alphabet in his head, unsure why exactly he was doing it, but discovering that it calmed him down considerably.

A – B – C … and then, just as he reached R, the music began and he knew she'd entered the hall. He glanced over his shoulder at the woman he was about to commit the rest of his life to.

She was breathtaking. Neville was right. The nerves were gone. Vanished. All that mattered was that the most beautiful woman in the world was walking towards him, and that she was his. She loved him. And that cancelled out every past failure, every mistake. He couldn't possibly be as worthless as he'd believed himself to be, because if he was then she wouldn't love him. But she did, and that meant he'd achieved the greatest thing it was possible to achieve.

He wasn't sure why it had taken him this long to figure it out. He'd been so blinded by self-pity and self-loathing that he hadn't been able to see this truly incredible thing that had happened to him. But he wasn't blind anymore. He could see clearly now, and what he could see was that he was that he was the happiest man in the universe right now.

She gave him a little smile through the veil as she came to stand beside him. The Minister began to speak, but Draco was barely aware of what he was saying, too dazed by the sudden realisation of just how incredible this moment was. Somehow he managed to get through the ceremony on autopilot, speaking at all the right times and slipping the ring that Neville handed him onto Astoria's finger.

And then came the words that would seal the wonderful future that lay ahead of him.

"I now pronounce you man and wife."


	19. Start Of Forever

**A/N: I'm aware it's been longer than usual between updates - sorry about that. Life gets in the way unfortunately :( Anyway, hope this makes up for it :)**

**Start Of Forever**

Very soon, Draco and Astoria were surrounded by friends and well-wishers, all desperate to congratulate the happy couple. His parents were there immediately, of course. Narcissa had tears in her eyes as she embraced Astoria enthusiastically. Draco could see Astoria's parents standing behind her, looking rather disapproving at this public display of emotion. Once upon a time, he too might have been embarrassed by his mother's behaviour, but not anymore. It was simply a sign of how much she, and the whole family, had changed. The old Narcissa Malfoy would not have cried at her son's wedding, but neither would the old Draco Malfoy have been marrying someone like Astoria. And the old Lucius Malfoy would certainly not have stood beside his wife, beaming at his son in an open display of pride and admiration.

Once upon a time, they had been just like Astoria's family: cold, haughty and far too proud to show any sign of "weakness" in public. Not anymore.

Talking of things that had changed, Draco suddenly realised who was next in line to congratulate them: Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley. He had known they were coming, of course. Ginny was a friend of Astoria's, and as she and Harry were dating he had come with her.

Nonetheless, it was a little surreal to have the Boy Who Lived standing there, grinning a little awkwardly at him.

Ginny immediately threw her arms around Astoria, gushing about how beautiful she looked and how wonderful the ceremony had been. Draco turned to Harry.

"If someone had told me five years ago that one day you'd be at my wedding, I'd probably have hexed them senseless," he said with a little smile.

"Yeah, it's funny how life turns out," Harry agreed. There was a slight pause.

"Well, there's probably lots of other people you want to speak to," Harry said after a moment, "I just wanted to say … well, congratulations. I hope the two of you are very happy."

The look in his eyes and his very sincere tone made it clear that he absolutely meant it, and not for the first time Draco found himself marvelling at the man's incredible capacity for forgiveness.

"Thank you," he replied quietly, "I really appreciate it." And he did.

_Astoria was very pleased to see Ginny, as well as rejoicing in the surprisingly friendly conversation between Draco and Harry. She knew how much Harry's opinion meant to Draco, after Harry had saved his life and then spoken up for him afterwards in order to keep him out of Azkaban, and she was glad the two had found a sort of mutual respect for one another, even if they would never be friends._

_In addition, Ginny had whispered a very exciting piece of news in Astoria's ear when she leaned in for a hug. Glancing down at the rather gorgeous new ring that was sparkling on Ginny's finger, the two girls had smiled giddily at one another. It seemed another wedding was on the horizon, though Ginny had said she would wait until Astoria's was over before announcing it as she didn't want to steal Astoria's limelight. _

_Not that Astoria would have cared. She could not have been more happy, and couldn't care less about being in the limelight. Even her parents' cool attitudes as they congratulated her could make no dent in her happiness. She smiled up at her husband (Husband! She still couldn't quite get over that) and the look in his eyes perfectly matched how she felt. She thought back to the night they'd met. She'd been heartbroken, convinced that her life was ruined forever. Little had she imagined that the best thing that would ever happen to her was about to begin. _

_And he'd been in a worse state than her. Well, not that night. That night she'd been completely wasted, and he'd been sober. But her drinking was a one-time thing. He'd been drowning in remorse and self-loathing. The first time she'd realised just how deep his depression went, she'd truly believed there was nothing that could pull him out of it, nothing that could save him. She's longed to see even the glimmer of a smile in his eyes, but hadn't believed it was something that could actually be done._

_But she'd done it. Here he was, practically overflowing with happiness, and it was because of her. They'd both been miserable that night, but somehow they'd managed to save one another. The pain had been worth it, because it had been what caused them to meet. Any amount of pain would have been worth it to feel the happiness she was feeling today. _

_She knew Matthew was here somewhere. She'd sent him an invitation, him and his new girlfriend, to show that there were no hard feelings. After all, if he hadn't broken her heart, Draco would never have had the chance to mend it. She would always be grateful to him for that. _

After the seemingly endless congratulations were over, they all walked through to where they would be eating. The meal was a pleasant one, and Draco suddenly found himself very hungry, having been unable to eat very much this morning due to nerves.

Although often engaged in conversations with various different people on the table, Draco found himself constantly glancing at Astoria, who sat at his side looking truly radiant. His wife. _His wife! _He still couldn't quite believe it. She was his, and he was hers. No Matthew would ever steal her away from him.

She was sitting very close to him, and the proximity suddenly made him aware of just how thin the material of her wedding dress was, and just how tightly it hugged her body in certain places. He felt his cheeks grow hot and ducked his head a little, hoping no one would notice. It wasn't that he'd never thought about Astoria like that before. It was just … well tonight was their wedding night. Suddenly the things that had been forbidden before were … no longer forbidden. The nerves that he'd thought were gone for good began to churn his stomach a little, though now for a very different reason.

He was startled out of this particular train of thought when Astoria's father stood up to give his speech. It was incredibly formal, talking about how wonderful it was to see Astoria making such a suitable match. He then went on to state that he was pleased she was carrying on the pureblood line and upholding the family traditions. It was a very old-fashioned speech, and one that was embarrassingly inappropriate at a wedding with more muggleborn or half blood guests than pureblood ones. Draco could sense Astoria cringing beside him at her father's tactlessness, and was very aware of the uncomfortable looks being exchanged around the room. Mr Greengrass, on the other hand, was completely oblivious, and continued to talk.

Eventually, mercifully, the speech came to an end and he sat down again. There was a smattering of polite applause, and Draco heard Astoria sighed with relief. Draco squeezed her hand gently, trying to convey through the gesture that it wasn't her fault, and that everyone would understand that she didn't share her father's backward views.

He tried not to think about the fact that not so long ago he would have whole-heartedly agreed with Mr Greengrass' views. It was hard to believe really, considering how incredibly ridiculous they now sounded to him.

And now it was his turn to make a speech.

"I'd like to thank you all for being here today," he began, standing up, "It means so much to Astoria and me that you are all here to share this truly wonderful day with us, and we can't thank you enough for the way you have all been there for us, in various different ways, throughout our lives.

"When Astoria and I first met, I was a complete mess. Though, when I look back on it, it was actually _her _who was completely drunk that particular night." There was a murmur of laughter at this, though Mr and Mrs Greengrass looked rather disapproving.

"Hardly the best start to a relationship, really," he continued, "Her completely wasted and unable to safely apparate home. And me not really sure why I was bothering to help this nuisance of a girl who I barely knew, but knowing that I had to.

"We've come a long way since that night. Astoria has done the impossible. She made me smile when I thought I never would again. She gave me hope for the future when all I could see was a continued feeling of despair and self-pity. And most of all, she showed me how to love when I believed my heart was too badly damaged to open up to anyone. For that, my darling Astoria, I am eternally grateful. I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you. I love you."

He sat down. There was no smattering of polite applause this time. In fact, there was no applause at all. Just complete silence. Glancing around the room, he could see tears sparkling in many pairs of eyes. He couldn't help but feel a little gratified. It was the most honest he'd ever been in front of this many people. He turned to Astoria. She alone was dry-eyed, but the incredible tenderness in her eyes said more than a thousand tears ever could have.

"I love you too, Draco," she whispered.

"Well, I'm not entirely sure how to follow that," said Neville, standing up, "But I suppose as best man I'm expected to make a decent attempt.

"I guess this is when I'm supposed to tell you lots of funny stories about the groom. Unfortunately, I haven't properly known Draco for very long. I did know him while he was at school, but we didn't exactly get on very well. Not having been his friend means there are less stories to tell. Of course, there _was_ that one time he was turned into a ferret …" he trailed off, staring dreamily into the distance. There were a few titters around the room as people who had witnessed or heard about the incident recalled it, and people who hadn't pictured it in their mind. Draco glared at his best man, but it was half-hearted. The story _was_ quite funny, when you looked back on it.

"I'm sure I could think of quite a few other amusing incidents," Neville continued, "But it wouldn't be fair to revisit those. Because the Draco Malfoy who is getting married here today is not the Draco Malfoy I knew back then. He's changed considerably, to the point that it's hard to believe he truly is the same person, and that's in no small part thanks to the influence of Astoria. Astoria was not the only reason for Draco's transformation, however, and I think he owes more of it than he believes to the genuine goodness inside him. He's a great guy and a great friend and it's a privilege to speak at his wedding as his best man.

"Getting married is quite a commitment. It's a promise to love someone forever, to be with them forever, and I truly believe Draco and Astoria will do so wonderfully. I wish the two of you every happiness together, and I hope you will all join me in raising a toast to Draco and Astoria."

"To Draco and Astoria," was the chorus around the room as every glass was lifted in unison. Draco felt tears springing to his eyes, but forced them away. No matter how touching the speech, men did _not_ get emotional at weddings. And _Malfoy_ men most certainly didn't.

He glanced over at his parents. His mother was in floods of tears, dabbing a tissue ineffectually at her eyes. He didn't think he'd ever seen her so happy in his life, and he rejoiced at the fact that he could be the cause of it.

His father was rubbing his eyes, very pointedly complaining about how the heat had made them watery.

Draco smirked.

Perhaps Malfoy men _were _allowed to show emotions after all.

_Astoria had enjoyed every part of the wedding. She had enjoyed getting all dressed up, knowing that for one day only it was her right to be absolutely the most beautiful woman in the room. She had enjoyed seeing Draco's face when he first saw her walking down the aisle towards him. She had enjoyed saying "I do" and hearing him say it in return. She had enjoyed the wonderful meal and the beautiful speeches. And she had enjoyed Draco leading her out onto the dance floor for their very first dance as husband and wife._

_And now they had reached the part of the wedding she was most apprehensive about._

_The wedding night._

_After the dancing was over and the guests had apparated home or, in the case of those who were too drunk too apparate, had been found accommodation somewhere, she and Draco had taken a Portkey to a little hotel in Paris, where they would begin their honeymoon. _

_They had checked into their hotel room and were now sitting side by side on the double bed, an awkward silence hanging between them. Deciding it was the only was to break the awkwardness; Astoria leaned across to Draco and kissed him very gently. The kiss deepened and Draco put his arms around her, pulling her towards him. She melted into him._

_A little while later, they broke apart. _

"_Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to leave this to the wedding night," Draco blurted out, "It's quite a lot of pressure." Astoria smiled._

"_No it's not," she replied, "It's only you and me here. And I'm not sure this is the sort of thing you can get wrong." _

"_But it's just …" Draco looked endearingly nervous, and Astoria found that reassuring him did wonders for her nerves._

"_Think of it like this," she said, "My first kiss was unbelievably awkward. I was fifteen, and neither of us had any experience. But I got a lot better at it. I figure this'll be the same. And just think how long we've got to get better at it._

"_Like Neville said earlier, we've got forever. This is only the start."_

**A/N: I'm not sure the end bit turned out quite how I wanted it. I sort of wanted to convey how awkward it would be for both of them. I imagine them having been brought up in a very old-fashioned kind of way, and I think sex is something that pureblood families wouldn't really talk about much and so is something they'd both feel fairly uncomfortable about.**

**Anyway, let me know what you think, hope you all enjoyed the chapter :)**


	20. Together At Last

**Together At Last**

The first thing Draco saw when he woke up was Astoria's face, which was very close to his own. She was still asleep. Her hair was spread out across the pillow, more disordered than he had ever seen it before, and there were little smears of make-up on her cheeks where she hadn't washed it off properly the night before.

He didn't think he'd ever seen anything so beautiful in his life.

As though sensing his gaze, her eyelids fluttered open and she smiled sleepily at him.

"Good morning, Mrs Malfoy," Draco said with a grin. The words sounded foreign in his mouth, but he fully intended to say them enough times in the future that they would become entirely commonplace.

Her smile widened.

"You know," he said, "This isn't the first time you've woken up in my bed."

Astoria considered that.

"You're right," she said, "But it's the first time I've woken up with you in the bed beside me. I think I like it better this way." She paused, then added, "It probably helps that I haven't got an agonising headache this time, and that I can remember everything that happened last night."

They lay like that for a while, enjoying that simple yet wonderful experience of waking up together. Eventually, they got up, dressed, and headed out to a little café for breakfast. It was a sunny morning, and Paris seemed like the most perfect place in the world. Of course, Draco thought just about anywhere would probably have seemed perfect right now. It was hard to believe that there could possibly be anything wrong with the world on a day like this.

_They spent another few weeks in Paris, wandering around in a rather lovestruck daze. Astoria was aware that they were visiting some of the most famous landmarks and art galleries in Paris, and that she ought to be paying a little more attention, but somehow she couldn't bring herself to care. She enjoyed all the sightseeing, of course, but right now Draco seemed a lot more interesting than some old painting, or even the view from the Eiffel Tower, which she had wanted to see since she was about six._

_She was aware that this honeymoon stage wouldn't last forever, but she fully intended to enjoy it while it did. _

_After Paris they spent time travelling around a great deal of Europe. Astoria had always wanted to go travelling, but it had never seemed like the right opportunity to do so. However, Neville and Hannah had told Draco to take as much time off work as he wanted to, and she was taking all of her holiday time at once in order to allow them as long as possible. She didn't think she'd ever had so much fun in her life, nor felt so relaxed. It was nice particularly to be abroad, where they were less likely to be recognised. She had become fairly immune to the general staring and whispering that seemed to follow Draco everywhere when they were in Muggle Britain, and which had begun to follow her too with the articles being printed in the Daily Prophet about her and Draco, but she certainly noticed the difference now that they were away from it. It was nice to see him so relaxed, too. To see him stop worrying all the time about what people might be thinking of him, or whether people were judging every single move he made. _

_She didn't want the very extended holiday to end but, of course, it had to. Far too quickly it was over and they were back in Britain. This had its own charms, however. The thrill of meeting up with friends and being addressed as Mr and Mrs Malfoy didn't wear off for several weeks, and then there was the excitement of choosing a new home. They had been offered the chance to move into either the Malfoy or Greengrass Manor, as would normally be the tradition for young couples in such families, but had politely declined. Astoria's parents had been rather confused by this – after all, there was plenty of space in either manor – but Narcissa and Lucius had understood. Astoria and Draco were not a traditional couple, and they needed more independence, and to do things a little differently._

_For the first few weeks after they got back, they stayed in Draco's flat, but it was too small to be home to them both in the long term. They were looking for a larger flat, one they could buy together, as husband and wife._

_It was no easy task. They both had rather particular ideas about the flat they wanted, and it was difficult to find something that fitted all their requirements. For example, they had both decided that they wanted it to be in Muggle London, rather than Wizard London like Draco's current flat, but Astoria was insistent that it be close enough to Diagon Alley that they could walk to work every day. Draco had given her a very odd look when she said this, as though pointing out that a witch, with the ability to apparate or travel by floo, didn't actually have to worry about distances. They could have lived up in Scotland and still got to work in London quite easily._

_Astoria explained that she didn't actually like Wizarding methods of travel very much, and that she liked the walk to work in the morning. It was something she hadn't admitted to before. It was normally muggle-born children, who'd had less experience of Wizarding transport, who favoured methods such as walking. Pureblood children, who had been using the Floo Network and side-along apparition since they were old enough to do so (about three), were expected to find it perfectly natural. It was seen as a sign of good breeding not to stumble coming out of a fireplace or feel ill after apparating. _

_Draco, however, didn't look down on her for disliking apparition and the Floo Network. Instead he grinned and admitted that actually he'd never liked them very much himself. Astoria wondered whether perhaps all purebloods felt like this, and simply went along with what they believed was more normal in society. _

_Of course this made their search more difficult. In addition to this, Draco wanted the flat to be big and luxurious enough that his parents could come to stay sometimes, and Astoria's parents too if they wished to (though Astoria doubted her parents would ever do something as common as staying in a flat). When he had chosen his flat near Diagon Alley he had still been angry enough with his parents that he had chosen one with no spare room or space for visitors, but this attitude had of course changed now. _

_In the back of Astoria's mind, she also registered that an extra room would come in handy if they ever decided to add another member to their family. She and Draco hadn't talked about children yet, but she was sure it was something they would want to consider at some point. Probably not for a couple of years – they were still fairly young after all – but at some point. _

_Eventually, after weeks of searching, they found one that was perfect. It was a fifteen minute walk from Diagon Alley, had three bedrooms and was considerably larger than either of their previous ones. It was a little over their budget, but on this occasion they decided there was no harm in borrowing from the Malfoy family fortune. After all, it would all belong to Draco one day, and they'd been fairly independent up until now. _

Living with Astoria was brilliant. Draco had thought it might take a while to get used to after living alone for so long, but it was a lot easier than he had expected. They were both out a lot, what with having such demanding jobs, but when they were at home together it was incredibly natural and easy, as though this was how they ought to have been living all along. It was hard to believe he had ever been happy to come home to a dark, empty flat and go to bed alone. Now, since Astoria almost always finished earlier than him, she would be home already, flicking through the channels on the TV after an exhausting day, or curled up on the sofa with a book.

A couple of months after moving into the flat, Astoria and Draco received an invitation to Harry and Ginny's wedding. Astoria insisted they go, and it wasn't as bad as Draco had expected. He avoided anyone remotely connected with the Weasley family, but when he bumped into Hermione Granger at one point, fortunately without her boyfriend, she was perfectly civil. He even danced with the bride at one point. They made polite conversation for a while, then Ginny said bluntly:

"You're not actually such a jerk after all."

Once upon a time, Draco would have made some sharp retort, or at least been offended by this comment. As it was, he just laughed.

"Thanks … I think," he said. Ginny blushed.

"Sorry," she said, "I didn't mean that to come out quite so badly. I just still can't quite believe that the guy I'm dancing with right now, who's married to Astoria, is the same guy I cast a Bat-Bogey Hex on in fourth year."

"Don't try to, then," Draco said, "I'm a very different person now. Just pretend I'm not the same guy at all, and that he was some jerk you'll never have to see again."

Ginny nodded, and they danced in silence for a couple of minutes.

"You make her really happy, you know," she said eventually, "Astoria. At first I was a bit doubtful about my friend marrying the infamous Draco Malfoy, but then I saw how you looked at her at the wedding. You look at her like my brother looks at Hermione, like she's something precious and wonderful and you can't quite believe she's yours. I'm glad you two found each other."

At this point the song ended and Ginny disappeared, leaving Draco a little stunned by just how forward and honest the new Mrs Potter was. He liked her, though. Harry was a lucky guy.

When they arrived home, Astoria collapsed onto the bed.

"I'm exhausted," she said, "I think I must have danced with just about every guy at the wedding."

"Yeah, I noticed that," said Draco, who had danced a fair amount, but had still been left sitting at the side and watching rather a lot, "Should I be jealous?"

"Nah," replied Astoria, "You're still the best dancer I know." She kicked her shoes off. Draco sat down on the bed, taking his shoes off a little less carelessly.

"Ginny seemed very happy," he said, "She barely stopped smiling the whole evening."

"Yeah, well it's about time they got married," said Astoria, "I found out a couple of weeks ago that she's actually three months pregnant. She was terrified she wouldn't fit into her wedding dress, but luckily she hasn't really started to show yet."

Draco smiled, thinking that Harry and Ginny were lucky they were part of a far more modern kind of society than his family. Pureblood society might be trying to move with the times, but he knew that, had Astoria been showing signs of pregnancy earlier than expected, all his parents' friends would instantly have begun gossiping and calculating numbers of weeks, and throwing disapproving looks their way.

Not that he and Astoria would have cared, but of course Astoria would never have become pregnant before their wedding anyway.

Hearing that Ginny was pregnant got him thinking about something else, however. Up until now he hadn't really thought about children very much. He'd just sort of assumed that they were too young right now, and that they'd think about it in a few years time. But Harry and Ginny were the same age as them, and they were starting a family already. Was it possible that Astoria wanted children already? Would she tell him if she did? How was he supposed to know?

And did _he _want kids? Or at least, did he want them now? It had always been something he vaguely thought of as part of his life sometime in the future, but it was different when he considered it as something real and possible that could happen sometime soon.

Now that he really thought about it, he realised that he _did _want children. He loved living with Astoria, of course, but he wanted more. He wanted his own family. He'd never thought he could feel as much love as he did for Astoria, but now that she'd unlocked his capacity to love, he realised his heart had space for more. In fact, his heart had space for several more. For at least five generations, the Malfoy family had always had only one child – a son – but he thought he'd like to change that. A big family. Yes, he'd like that. And his parents would too. His mother particularly would love a few grandchildren to spoil and play with …

His mind drifted off into contemplation, but eventually he stopped himself. He mustn't get too carried away. Astoria might not even want children yet, and ultimately it was her decision. He would wait until she brought the subject up, and only they would he let her see his enthusiasm for starting a family. He would hate her to feel pressured into something she wasn't ready for simply because she thought it would please him.

Yes, he would wait. And he would just have to hope he didn't have to wait too long.

_Astoria unlocked the door of the flat, letting herself in. Draco was still at work, but would probably be back fairly soon. She'd just been at the Potter's house, talking to Ginny. It was only a couple of days now before Ginny's baby was due._

"_James Sirius Potter," Ginny had told her, "That's what Harry wants to call him. Talk about tempting fate. I've already resigned myself to the hundreds of owls I'll get sent once he starts Hogwarts. You can't give a kid a name like that and then expect him to be really quiet and obedient."_

_That hadn't been why Astoria had gone to visit, though. She'd wanted to ask Ginny's advice about something. Ginny had been helpful, but hadn't completely solved the problem for her. That was something she was going to have to do on her own. _

_Talking of which, Draco was supposed to be home by now. Where was he?_

_Just as she thought this, she heard the door opening. _

"_I'm home, Tori!" Draco's voice called. Astoria walked through to the hall to greet him. She thought she was doing a good job of keeping her nerves under control, but the moment Draco saw her his face took on a concerned expression. _

"_What's wrong?" he asked, "Are you okay?"_

"_I'm fine," she reassured him, "I just … I need to tell you something."_

"_Okay." He hung up his coat, then followed her back through to the living room, where they sat down on the sofa. He looked at her expectantly. She took a deep breath. How was he going to take this? She was almost positive he would think it was too soon. Would he be angry? Or would he just think of it as an unfortunate mistake, something they could sort out and then carry on with their lives as normal?_

_She looked down at her hands. She couldn't look at him, couldn't see the expression on his face when she said it._

"_Draco, I'm pregnant." _


	21. Until Now

**Until Now**

Draco stared at Astoria, trying to take in what she had said.

"You're … you're pregnant?" he repeated, "But how … I mean … the charm …"

"I think I must have forgotten to cast it one night," Astoria said miserably, still staring at the floor, "I'm so sorry, Draco. But it's only a couple of weeks in. I can still … get rid of it."

She said this so softly it took him a moment to figure out what she had said, and when he did he thought he had heard her wrong.

"No!" he said, then realised that maybe it wasn't his place to make that decision for her, "I mean, if you want to then … well it's your body. But our child …" he tailed off, unable to even comprehend the idea of getting rid of the child already growing inside his wife.

Astoria looked up for the first time, and the relief was evident in her face.

"No," she said, "I want to keep it. I just though … maybe you wouldn't. I mean, we haven't been married for very long, and we hadn't discussed children yet. And I'm not sure how we're going to manage. We both work, and I really don't want to quit my job and become a stay-at-home mum. I've always thought that maybe I would sometime in the future, but right now I just love what I'm doing so much, and I don't want to have to stop."

Draco saw tears welling up in her eyes and stepped closer to her, taking his hands in her own.

"You don't have to," he said quietly, "I will."

She stared at him.

"You'll … quit your job?" she said, "But you love working at the Leaky Cauldron! And you're … well you're a guy. Normally it's the mum who stays home."

Draco laughed.

"Actually," he pointed out, "normally in our kind of families a nanny is hired to look after the kids so that the father can work (though whether hanging around the Ministry bribing people to do things counts as work is debatable) and the mother can attend parties and socialise. But we're not exactly normal, are we? This way makes far more sense. You're currently earning ten times what I am, and your job means a lot to you. I'm just a waiter. It's good fun, yes, but it's hardly what I want to spend my life doing."

"But it was my fault for forgetting to do the charm," Astoria protested, "You shouldn't have to …"

"Tori, it's not your fault at all. I'm glad you forgot about the charm. I _want _to do this. I want to be a father."

She still looked doubtful, so he pulled her into a hug.

"You don't have to do this if you don't want to," he murmured into her hair, "It's your decision. But for my part, I couldn't be happier that we're going to have a child."

They stood like that for a few minutes. He gave her time. This was a big decision to make, and he didn't think she was quite as ready as him to be a parent. Not that she didn't _want _to be, but just that she probably hadn't really considered it much before.

Eventually she looked up at him. She was smiling.

"You're right," she said, "We can make this work. My parents won't approve of course. They don't like the fact that I work at all, and I think they were hoping once we had kids I'd stop. They definitely think a woman's place is in the home. But since when did either of us care about my parents' approval?"

"So we're going to have a child," Draco said, his voice brimming with excitement. Astoria nodded.

"We're going to have a child."

_Once they had decided they were definitely keeping the baby, Astoria started to warm to the idea considerably more. She'd been so scared of Draco's reaction before that she hadn't really stopped to think about her own opinion, but now that he was so happy about it she began to feel excited. She was going to be a mum! There was a person growing inside her, an actual live person, who was going to be her child. _

_Ginny's son was born a couple of days after their conversation. Astoria couldn't help imagining what her own child would look like as she held little James in her arms. James looked a lot like his father, but his eyes were definitely his mother's, and he had the same nose as most of the Weasley family. Who would her child take after more? Whose eyes would it have? And would it be a boy or a girl?_

_She couldn't wait to find out. _

Draco's parents were thrilled when they heard the news. His mother admitted that she'd been hoping to have grandchildren soon, and his father said softly that he hoped he could be a better grandfather than he had been as a father.

Draco felt he ought to assure him that he hadn't been a bad father, but couldn't do so honestly, so he just said he was sure they would both be wonderful grandparents. He genuinely thought they would. They were kinder now than when he had been a child, and less concerned with ambition and social status. In fact, his main concern was that he would have to stop them from spoiling the child too much.

_They waited a little longer to tell Astoria's parents. Not that she thought they would be annoyed, in fact quite the opposite. They would be pleased that she was finally doing something "appropriate" for a woman, and would assume that she would now quit "that awful job" and come and live at the manor with them._

_Eventually, however, it had to be done. As she had expected, they weren't thrilled when she told them that Draco, and not she, was going to quit his job to look after the child. The fact that her job was far better paid and would actually be able to support the family, whereas Draco's wouldn't, made no impression on them at all ("But we have plenty of money, darling. Neither of you have to work!") and eventually she gave up and simply left, saying that she had an engagement elsewhere. Her parents really were impossible._

Neville thought it was great when Draco told him, and suggested that Draco could still work weekends or evenings occasionally if he wanted to. Draco then asked him if he would consider being godfather (something he and Astoria had agreed on beforehand). To his astonishment, the calm, practical Neville became a little tearful as he said that yes, it would be an absolute honour.

_Astoria asked her sister to be the godmother. Daphne was very happy to be, and was looking forward to being an aunt. She admitted she wasn't sure her and Theo were very likely to have kids, but that she definitely wanted nieces and nephews._

"_As many as possible," she told Astoria, "I think you'll definitely have a big family."_

_Astoria wasn't really ready to think about more kids yet (one was scary enough) but she had to admit that, considering Draco's love of children, Daphne was probably right._

It began to feel very real after Astoria first began to feel the baby moving. Draco knew it was probably silly that he was more excited about feeling it kicking than Astoria was, but he couldn't help it. It just seemed so incredible that there was tiny child inside his wife's stomach. _His _child! He couldn't quite believe it.

_When the Healer first offered to cast the charm to determine the gender of the baby, they decided against it. Astoria looked to Draco, letting him make the decision, and he said it was rather it would be a surprise._

A week later, Draco changed his mind. It occurred to him that they'd be able to prepare better if they knew the gender. And besides, he'd never been very good at waiting for surprises. He'd always sat under the Christmas tree every Christmas, picking up the presents and trying to figure out what they were. He knew he'd never be able to wait until the baby's birth to find out.

_It was going to be a boy. Draco was ecstatic, and said that he'd been hoping it would be a boy. Astoria was sure he'd have said exactly the same thing about a girl, but she didn't challenge him on it. For herself, she'd be equally happy with either. It was her child, and that was enough. It was nice to think of it as a "he" now though. A son. She was going to have a son._

Draco set to work decorating the largest bedroom in the flat as a nursery. He wanted to paint it green and silver, but Astoria pointed out that they shouldn't be putting pressure on their son to end up in a certain house from the moment he was born, and he had to agree that she was right. He relented, and the nursery was a safe, neutral cream, though he couldn't resist buying a set of green cushions for the tiny cot. Astoria retaliated by putting up blue curtains in the window, and then Neville dropped round with a red and gold blanket as a gift for his godson. In the end, the nursery was a rainbow of colours.

"It's beautiful," Astoria said, "Our son shouldn't be reduced to one set of colours, and a single label. I like it like this. It's perfect."

Draco agreed with her. Rainbow colours for a rainbow child, a child who wouldn't be limited by the prejudices and discrimination that had caused a war in his parents' generation. It was perfect.

_And of course, once they knew it was a boy, they could begin to think about names. Astoria wanted to break from tradition and give the child a different name, one that wasn't tied to the Malfoy or the Greengrass family tree. But Draco disagreed, said that his son would be a Malfoy, and that he ought to be named like one._

_In the end, they compromised. Astoria searched back through the Malfoy family tree, and discovered a great-great-great-uncle called Scorpius, who had been disowned for running away and marrying a muggle. Reading his story, she couldn't help but admire the young man who had given up his wealth and his family in order to be with the woman he loved. The Malfoy family hadn't agreed, of course, and the name Scorpius had not been used by anyone ever since. She decided this would be a good time to bring it back into the family. She could only hope her son would be half as brave as his namesake._

_The name Hyperion came from her own parents. It was a traditional Greengrass name, and she agreed to use it as a middle name, just so that they would stop pestering her. It was an awful name, she thought, but what did middle names matter, really? They were never used in day to day life._

Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy. Deciding on a name really brought the child to life. Draco began to feel a little nervous for the first time. Was he ready to be a father? Wasn't a father supposed to be a good role model, someone a child could look up to? He could hardly claim to be that. And his own father wasn't exactly a very good example to follow. But perhaps he could learn from Lucius' mistakes. He wouldn't spoil his son, or try and push him into being someone he wasn't. Scorpius would be better than Draco. He could tell that already. It was time for a new, better generation to take the place of the old one, the one still scarred by the war and all that had taken place. It would be better for Scorpius. He would grow up in a peaceful world, a better world.

_Five months into Astoria's pregnancy, Ginny announced that she was pregnant again too. Based on their due dates, Astoria figured that Scorpius would probably not be in James' year at Hogwarts, but would instead be at school with the Potters' second child. She knew it was probably too early to think about things like that, and that there was no guarantee the two of them would be friends, but she was pleased about it anyway._

As the due date drew closer, Draco could feel his excitement building, as well as his doubts. Would he be a terrible father? Perhaps it was genetic. Perhaps, no matter how hard he tried, he was doomed to repeat the mistakes of his father, and every other Malfoy father before him.

Simple as ABC: that had become something of a motto for him and Astoria. It had certainly been true of their marriage so far, which had come as naturally as breathing. They'd actually argued less since getting married than they had when they were merely dating. But could having a child really be the same as that? Draco was sure it would be more difficult. Simple as ABC? Probably not.

_And then it happened. Astoria went into labour, and Draco rushed her to St Mungo's. Suddenly, all the doubts that she knew Draco had been feeling for months, which hadn't bothered her at all, washed over her. Maybe she'd be a terrible mother. Maybe she wasn't ready for this. Wasn't it a sign of what an awful mother she was going to be that she wasn't even willing to give up her job in order to look after her son? That she was instead leaving that to her husband?_

_Draco seemed to see the worry in her face. He squeezed her hand. _

"_You can do this," he whispered, "Simple as ABC."_

_She smiled._

"_Yeah," she agreed, "Simple as ABC."_

When they arrived at St Mungo's, Draco was asked to wait outside. He and Astoria protested, saying that they were a modern couple and that he wanted to be with her through this, but St Mungo's was still run according to a lot of old-fashioned rules. One of which was that father's were considered unnecessary to the process of giving birth and so were required to sit in the waiting room.

For Astoria's sake, Draco smiled and said that it was okay, and that he was happy to wait so long as they fetched him when the baby was born. It wasn't okay, not really. But Astoria needed him to be supportive right now, not start arguments with the Healers about whether or not their rules were out-dated.

To his astonishment, he discovered someone very familiar sitting in the waiting room, looking as nervous as he felt.

Ron Weasley.

"Weas– Ron," he said curtly as he sat down. Ron merely gave him a wan smile. He was very pale.

Now that he thought about it, Draco remembered Astoria saying something a while ago about Ginny telling her that Hermione was pregnant. But he'd never dreamed that the two of them would actually be in hospital at the same time. In fact, he'd barely thought about it at all except to register that there would be at least one Weasley in his son's year at Hogwarts.

The two of them didn't talk. They weren't friends and never would be, and neither of them were in the kind of mood where they would be capable of making small talk. It was a companionable kind of silence, though, probably the friendliest atmosphere that had ever existed between the two of them. They were both just waiting, unable to think about anything other than the women who were along the corridor somewhere, giving birth to their children.

When a Healer eventually came to the door, they both leapt to their feet simultaneously. They glanced at each other and smiled slightly, then turned back to the Healer, waiting for news. Whose child was it about? Was it good news or bad?

"Mr Weasley, Mr Malfoy, you may both come up now," she said with a smile, "Both babies are very healthy, and your wives would very much like to see you."

_Astoria gazed down at the little boy in her arms. He was so beautiful, and so delicate. Not so long ago, she'd read an article about the War, claiming that Voldemort had been defeated through the love of mothers. There was the famous Lily Potter, of course, and the way she had reduced Voldemort to little more than a ghost for so long, as well as allowing her son to survive, and ultimately go on to defeat Voldemort for good, through her sacrifice. And then there was her own mother-in-law, Narcissa Malfoy, who had saved Harry Potter's life by lying to Voldemort, for the sake of her son. And nobody who had witnessed it would ever forget the way Molly Weasley had duelled and defeated the infamous Bellatrix Lestrange because she had threatened Ginny. _

_At the time Astoria had dismissed the article, thinking of it merely as an amusing coincidence that the actions of those three mothers had been so important. But now, looking down at her own son, she wasn't so sure. The emotion she felt swelling inside her was more powerful than anything she could ever remember feeling before. She knew she would willingly die for him, or duel Voldemort's most faithful servant, or lie to Voldemort himself. She would do just about anything to keep him safe._

_She felt a sudden wave of gratitude towards Harry Potter for the fact that she would never have to do any of those things. Her son would grow up safe and out of danger. Until now she had thought the war had been terrifying for her, but that was nothing compared to how all those women must have felt who had children to worry about. _

_But the world was safe now, and Scorpius would be safe, and she didn't think she'd ever felt so happy in her life._

When Draco stepped into the room, his wife looked up at him and smiled. She was holding Scorpius in her arms, but she held him out for Draco to take. He took his son very gently, unable to believe that this beautiful, delicate child he was holding really belonged to him.

And just like that, his doubts melted away. If he could create something as wonderful as this little boy, he could do anything. Until now, he hadn't known it was possible to feel this much love. Not that he didn't love Astoria, of course, but this love was different. This love was unconditional and absolute.

He tore his eyes from his son's face in order to look at Astoria. There were tears in her eyes.

"I didn't know it was possible to be this happy," she whispered.

He looked down at his son again, and then back up at his beautiful wife.

"Neither did I," he agreed, "Until now."


	22. Very Much A Daddy

**Very Much A Daddy**

They were visited by both sets of parents while in hospital, but couldn't wait to get out and bring little Scorpius back to the flat. Astoria went ahead, telling Draco she would wait for him at the entrance, while he packed up her stuff and brought it with him.

When he arrived at the entrance, Astoria was deep in conversation with Hermione Granger (he could never remember to call her Hermione Weasley), who was also holding a tiny baby. The two women were giggling about something as they admired one another's children.

"Am I missing something funny?" Draco asked as he walked up to them. He had forgotten about Ron being there in the waiting room with him, but it suddenly occurred to him that the children must have been born around the same time.

"Come and meet Rose Weasley," Astoria said, gesturing to the child in Hermione's arms, "Isn't she beautiful?"

Draco had to agree that she was, though he dreaded to think what the daughter of Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger (sorry, Weasley) would turn out like when she grew up. As clever as her mother, no doubt, though with all the usual Weasley attributes.

"It turns out Rose and Scorpius were born within two minutes of each other!" Astoria exclaimed, "Isn't that incredible?"

Draco nodded, a little bemused by how excited this little fact seemed to make his wife. The two women dissolved into giggles again. Draco stared from one to the other, confused.

"Am I missing something?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Astoria sighed, "A boy and a girl, born on the same day in the same hospital into two families which have always been sworn enemies. It's fate!"

Draco's expression turned to one of horror as he realised what his wife was getting at.

"Don't be ridiculous!" he spluttered, "Rose and Scorpius … they're not even a week old and you're … that's absurd!"

"You're right of course, Draco," Hermione agreed, though something about her tone gave him the feeling he was being patronised, "I've never believed in fate and all that rubbish. A Malfoy and a Weasley? What a ridiculous idea."

She exchanged another look with Astoria, and they started laughing again. At that moment, Ron arrived with Hermione's bag, asking if she was ready to leave. Draco didn't think he'd ever been so relieved to see Ron Weasley in his life. This conversation was starting to make him a little uncomfortable.

Hermione and Astoria said goodbye, while Ron and Draco nodded curtly at one another, and then the two families departed.

Draco breathed a sigh of relief as they arrived back at the flat. He wouldn't have given up the last few days for the world, but the whole experience had been very stressful, and he was glad to be back home with his wife and his son.

His son. He could hardly believe it. This beautiful, fragile child was really his. Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy. His son.

_The next few months were exhausting. The two of them were lucky to get three or four hours of sleep a night, and had to be completely alert during the day. Astoria's sleeping pattern had always been very regular, and she'd been better than most people at waking up early, but that all went out the window. She slept whenever she got a chance, which often meant the middle of the day, when Scorpius decided to take a nap. _

_Narcissa was wonderful, often offering to babysit Scorpius during the day so that Astoria and Draco could get some rest. She confided to Astoria that she'd missed out on all of this when Draco was young, having let the nanny take care of him, and that she felt she was sort of making up for it now. She absolutely adored her grandson, and was the only person besides Draco and Astoria who could get him to stop crying._

_Astoria's parents were less sympathetic. They still thought the family should have moved into the Manor, and insisted that Astoria ought to employ a nanny. _

"_Nanny's are _paid_ to deal with all of this!" her mother would say, "That way you can have the energy to play with Scorpius and have all the more positive experiences with him. You're going to end up hating your son if you carry on like this, because your only experiences with him will be when you're tired and sleep-deprived and he's crying and unpleasant."_

Things got harder for Draco when Astoria finished her maternity leave and went back to work. She needed a decent amount of sleep now, so rather than taking turns, it was always him who got up in the night when Scorpius cried. It was him who had to be as awake as possible during the day, particularly once Scorpius began to crawl. He discovered very quickly just how dangerous their seemingly harmless flat could be, and began to baby-proof it as much as possible, but he still had to be aware of where Scorpius was at all times.

In spite of Mrs Greengrass' dire predictions, however, he did not find himself hating his son. Quite the opposite, in fact. The sleepless nights, the hours of pacing up and down with a crying baby, and the mini heart attacks every time Scorpius discovered some new way of putting himself in danger only cemented him in the knowledge that he would do it all a thousand times over for this wonderful child.

One of the most wonderful things about Scorpius was his smile. He smiled a lot. And he had the most infectious laugh. Even when Draco was at his most exhausted, hearing that gurgling, little laugh seemed to bring back all of his energy. It was impossible hear that laugh without responding. Lucius, who was still very guarded around most people, relaxed completely with his grandson, and even the Greengrasses had to fight to retain their stiff, haughty expressions.

Neville dropped by regularly to see his godson, but Draco didn't take Scorpius to the Leaky Cauldron for the first time until he was eight months old. He'd been worried all the noise and bustle would be overwhelming for the child, but in fact it was quite the opposite. All the staff who'd worked with Draco and the regular customers who knew him well gathered round and cooed over Scorpius, who seemed to absolutely love the attention. He responded to each person with happy giggles, and smiled contentedly as he was passed from person to person.

Eventually, however, he seemed to grow a little tired and started to cry. Hannah, who was holding him at the time, rocked him gently, trying to get him to stop, but eventually she admitted defeat and returned him to Draco.

The moment Scorpius was in his father's arms he fell silent. He relaxed into Draco's chest and his eyelids drifted shut. Within seconds he was fast asleep, a contended little smile on his face.

Draco felt a warm glow in his chest, and had to fight back tears. His parents loved him – he knew that. His mother had risked her life for him during the war. And Astoria loved him, too. But this was different. The automatic, unconditional acceptance from this child who didn't want anyone other than him was special. Scorpius was special.

_Astoria missed Scorpius' first word. She arrived home from work to find Draco beside himself with excitement. _

"_Tori, he spoke!" he exclaimed as he dragged her into the living room, "Scorpius spoke!"_

_He knelt down by the little chair Scorpius was on._

"_Come on, Scorp," he said, "Tell Mummy. Tell Mummy who I am."_

_Scorpius simply stared for a long moment, and Astoria was sure he wouldn't repeat the performance. Then his face broke into a smile._

"_Daddy," he said confidently, touching Draco's cheek, "Daddy."_

"_Isn't that brilliant, Tori?" Draco exclaimed, beaming at his son, "He knows who I am! Isn't he clever?"_

_Astoria felt a twinge of jealousy. She couldn't believe she'd missed this enormous milestone in her son's life. And why couldn't "Mummy" have been his first word? Why "Daddy"?_

_A tiny, bitter part of her wanted to point out that Scorpius was far too young to identify the word he was using with an actual person, and that he was undoubtedly just copying the word he'd heard Draco use the most while talking to him._

_But looking at Draco's shining face she couldn't possibly do that. She'd known this might happen. Draco had given up his job, as well as his social life and a lot of hours of sleep, to look after Scorpius. She'd been unwilling to sacrifice her job, and had known that would prevent her from being there for every single part of her son's life. And this clearly meant more to him than it would have to her. She wouldn't ruin this moment for him be being petty._

"_That's wonderful," she said sincerely, "You're a very clever little boy, Scorp."_

_She smiled as she watched Draco fuss proudly over his son. He deserved this moment. She knew he'd had a lot of different labels attributed to him over the years. Slytherin, pureblood, Death Eater, Malfoy: some were more positive than others. But no title had ever been as appropriate as the one bestowed by Scorpius. Daddy. She knew Draco still worried that he was a failure, but this was one thing he would never fail at. He was a very, very good Daddy. _

Astoria was there for Scorpius' first steps, which Draco was pleased about. He wanted to be able to share these experiences with her. They were both absolutely beaming with pride as they watched him leave the safety of Draco's arms to toddle across the floor and collapse into Astoria.

Of course, this made keeping track of him even harder. At least when he could only crawl his speed was restricted somewhat. Now that he could walk, Draco had to be more aware than ever of where he was at all times. On the plus side, his sleeping patterns were more regular now, which meant Draco was a little more awake.

_The time really seemed to fly past. Between work and Scorpius, as well as trying to make time to see her friends, Astoria barely noticed the months disappear. _

_Before she knew it, Scorpius was three years old. It was the first time they made a big deal out of his birthday, deciding to throw him a proper birthday party at the flat. Draco invited a couple of friends who had children the same age as Scorpius, and Astoria invited a great deal more, including Ginny Weasley, who now had three children. Her youngest, Lily, slept in her lap for most of the party, but James and Albus were friendly and very playful. Harry didn't come, for which she knew Draco was very grateful. The two might have made their peace, but Astoria didn't think they'd ever be willing to quite be considered part of the same social circle._

_The party was very much a success, and Astoria could tell that Scorpius had enjoyed it. Watching the way he interacted with the other children, however, she began to wonder whether perhaps the flat was big enough for more than just the one child. After all, Draco had always said he wanted a large family …_

Shortly after Scorpius' third birthday, Astoria informed Draco that she wanted to try for another child. He agreed immediately, and within a month she announced she was pregnant. Thrilled, they told Scorpius that he was going to have a little brother or sister, and started work on transforming the spare bedroom into a proper child's bedroom.

_When they found out it was going to be twins, Astoria was a little nervous, but very excited. She knew twins would be harder work, but thought it would definitely be worth it. The twins were both going to be girls, and she liked the idea of having daughters as well as a son. _

The pregnancy and birth went very smoothly considering they were twins, and soon Draco was gazing adoringly down at two little girls. His daughters. Faye and Lyra Malfoy: the names had taken quite some time to decide on. Even by the time the girls were born, they still had a list of potential names to choose from. But one look at them had made the decision so much easier. The names just seemed to … fit, somehow.

And although they made life so much harder, Draco loved his daughters dearly. He couldn't believe it had taken him so long to find this sense of completeness. All his life he'd been searching for approval and acceptance: from his father, from the people at school, from the other Death Eaters. And yet nothing had filled his life like these three beautiful children. No words of approval or admiration had ever made him feel worthwhile and important like that single word that had been the first one to cross his son's lips.

Daddy.


	23. When We're Together

**A/N: I was originally planning to have this story tie in with my story about Rose and Scorpius - As The Walls Fall Down - but that didn't really work. I still plan to keep a lot of the details the same, but Lyra and Faye weren't in that story, and I felt like they really belonged in this one. Technically it still fits in with canon as JK never specified that Scorpius was an only child, though she kind of implied it.**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter. We're getting pretty near the end now.**

**Let me know what you think!**

**When We're Together**

"Simple as ABC? _Simple as ABC! _Whoever came up with that phrase had _not _tried to teach a five-year-old to write!" Draco knew his voice was getting progressively louder, but couldn't quite seem to keep it under control.

"I take it the lessons still aren't going well then?" Astoria asked, clearly rather amused.

"I just don't understand!" Draco wailed, "He can recite the whole alphabet perfectly, and he can write each of the letters individually. But when I try to show him how to string them together into words, he just looks at me blankly. It ought to be such a simple concept! What am I doing wrong, Tori?" He collapsed onto the sofa, looking up at her pleadingly. She was a Ravenclaw; she was supposed to be smart. Surely she would have a better solution? But she just laughed.

"You were the one who signed up for this, Draco," she said, "You know there are always other options, if you don't think you can manage."

It was a Wednesday evening, and Astoria was home from work. Scorpius and the twins were fast asleep. It was also three months into Draco's attempt to home-school his five-year-old son. There weren't many alternatives when it came to educating magical children. Some muggleborn or halfblood parents would send their children to muggle primary schools, but Draco knew that wouldn't work with Scorpius. He'd been brought up in such an exclusively magical household, with parents who didn't really know much about muggles, that there was no way to guarantee he wouldn't let something slip. He was only five, after all.

The more common alternative within pureblood families was to hire a tutor. This had been what Draco's parents had done, which was the very reason he didn't want it for his son. His tutor had been nice enough, but had limited even further the amount of time he had spent with his parents. And besides, Draco and Astoria were still determined to be independent and live as much as possible on Astoria's salary, which was perfectly sufficient, but would never stretch to cover a tutor.

And so Draco had decided to teach Scorpius himself. It had seemed like a wonderful idea. Astoria had consulted some of her friends, who had directed her to a section of Flourish and Blotts which specialised in books for parents who were teaching their children. To Draco's annoyance, all the books seemed to assume that it was the mother who was teaching the children, and not the father. He tried not to let it bother him, however. He knew his situation was slightly unusual, but he wouldn't change it for the world.

But teaching wasn't as easy as he had expected it to be. Scorpius was very patient and attentive, but they had reached a block and just couldn't seem to get past it. It was frustrating. They were both trying their hardest, but sometimes it was really hard to keep from yelling at Scorpius when he still didn't understand.

Ignoring Astoria's suggestion to find an alternative, which they both knew was an unhelpful one, he stood up again and began to pace up and down the living room.

"What if it's my fault, Tori?" he said, "It must be! Scorpius is such a bright kid. I'm obviously just not teaching him properly. What if he never manages to read and write. It'll be all my fault!"

Astoria rolled her eyes.

"Don't be so melodramatic, Drake," she said, "You're putting way too much pressure on yourself. You've only been doing this for a few months, and Scorp's progress has been quite impressive. Give him a bit more time. Try and relax and just be patient."

Relax and be patient. That was the only advice she had for him? Draco was rather sceptical. Surely there was something more helpful she could tell him to do?

But it was the only advice he had. Worth a try, he supposed.

* * *

"_The – cat – ran – and – ju–" Scorpius stopped and looked up at Draco, "What's that word, Daddy?"_

"_Try and spell it out slowly."_

"_J – U – M – P – E – D. Jumped! The cat ran and jumped – up – the – tree."_

"_Well done! Shall we try the next sentence?"_

_Astoria smiled as she stood in the kitchen doorway. Draco and Scorpius hadn't noticed her yet, too focused on what they were doing to have heard her come in. They were sitting at the kitchen table, two blonde heads bent over a book. Lyra and Faye were asleep on the sofa in the living room, which was separated from the kitchen only by small partition, and every so often Draco glanced over to check on them. The flat had a tranquil atmosphere, and the picture was such a perfect one that Astoria was reluctant to disturb it._

_As Scorpius finished the next sentence, however, she decided she could hardly stand there, a silent spectator, for the entire night._

"_That's enough reading for today, I think!" she said. _

"_Mummy!" Scorpius cried, jumping out of his seat and running to hug her, "I managed to read _loads_ today! And Daddy says I'll be on to the Stage 2 reading books soon!"_

"_How was work?" Draco asked, standing up and leaning over to kiss her on the cheek._

"_Oh, the usual," Astoria smiled, "We got a whole shipment of "The Flying Book Of Flying" in today. It's a book about flying, but which unfortunately also has wings. Took us two hours to capture them all again when we accidently let them loose. We've got them all tied up now, thank goodness, but I don't think I'll be ordering more of those in a hurry."_

_She headed through to her room to change into something more relaxed, Scorpius clinging onto her arm all the while and chattering constantly. When she came back through, Draco was making dinner. She woke up Lyra and Faye and strapped them into their high seats, then helped Scorpius set the table. _

_Working seamlessly as a team, she and Draco each sat beside one of the twins, carefully steering the spoons to try and ensure that more food ended up in Lyra and Faye's mouths than on the table, their clothes and their faces. It was a hopeless task, really, but one that got a little easier as the girls grew older. All the while, Scorpius continued to chat enthusiastically about pretty much anything that came into his head._

_And Astoria reflected that there had really been no reason the regret spoiling the perfect, peaceful picture earlier. After all, this was just as beautiful a picture, and she was part of it._

* * *

"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Lyra and Faye! Happy birthday to you!"

The girls beamed as Draco and Astoria set down a cake in front of each of them. Scorpius, Lucius and Narcissa clapped enthusiastically. Lyra took a deep breath and blew out all the candles on her own cake, as well as those on her sister's. She sat back smugly, looking very pleased with herself. Faye, on the other hand, looked as though she might be about to burst into tears, so Draco quickly relit all the candles on both cakes and allowed Faye to blow them all again.

"I still think it was silly to buy two cakes," Draco said to Astoria as Narcissa and Lucius helped the girls cut their cakes, "It would have been different if we were having a proper party, but there's no way the seven of us will manage to eat that much cake."

"Draco, they're four now," Astoria said patiently, "We can't keep treating them like one person. It's important not to do that with twins. I'll put a charm on the cake to make it last longer, and we can eat it over the next couple of weeks."

"I can't believe they're four already," Draco sighed, watching as the girls argued over who got to open the first present. They argued about pretty much everything, but were inseparable regardless.

"I know what you mean," Astoria agreed, "It doesn't seem so long ago that we were celebrating Scorpius' fourth birthday, and the twins were still only tiny."

"And now Scorpius is almost eight, and it won't be long before I'll have to figure out how to teach three kids at once, rather than just one," Draco said.

"Good luck teaching Lyra and Faye to read!" Astoria laughed, "At least Scorpius is patient and good at listening. I don't think I've ever seen the girls sit still for more than three minutes without getting bored."

As if on cue, Lyra jumped up and started to skip around the room, waving the new toy wand her grandparents had bought her. Faye soon joined in, and before Draco knew it they had succeeded in roping his parents into a game of tag around the flat. He knew he ought to stop them, or at least encourage them to go outside before they broke something or hurt themselves, but watching their shining faces and happy giggles, he couldn't bring himself to stop their fun.

In a minute; he'd stop them in a minute. Not yet.

* * *

"_Mum, Dad, the post arrived! And look! My Hogwarts letter has come!"_

_Scorpius ran into the living room, waving the envelope at his parents, who were sitting on the sofa. Lyra and Faye were sitting on the floor, playing a game of wizard chess. Draco had taught them a little while ago, after Daphne had bought them a chess set for their birthday, and they now played at every possible opportunity. They were surprisingly good. Faye was bolder, willing to take risks and sacrifice pieces when necessary, but Lyra was sneakier. They were both pretty much as good as each other, and their games could get very competitive. Either of them could now beat Scorpius or Astoria easily, and Astoria reckoned they'd be able to beat Draco soon. When they worked together, playing as a team, they were pretty much unstoppable._

_Setting down the book she'd been reading, Astoria looked at the letter in her son's hand._

"_Well?" she asked, "Are you going to open it, or are you planning on waving it around for the rest of the day?"_

_Scorpius tore open the letter. His eyes skimmed over the words greedily._

"_I'm going to Hogwarts!" he cried, "I'm really, actually going to Hogwarts!"_

_Astoria refrained from pointing out that they had actually known he'd be going to Hogwarts ever since he accidently turned Draco into a ferret when he was six. It had been quite an impressive piece of accidental magic, which had taken Astoria several minutes to reverse. Draco had been very grumpy after he was turned back, but seeing how upset Scorpius was had relented and laughed along with Astoria, saying that it had been his own fault for giving Scorpius that book about animals. After all, how many six-year-olds even knew what a ferret was?_

_That was what her parents had done when she received her Hogwarts letter. They'd pointed out that it wasn't really anything to be excited about, as they'd already known she wasn't a Squib. But that wasn't the point. It was still exciting to receive the letter, even if you'd known for years that you were going to. _

"_I guess a trip to Diagon Alley is in order," Draco said, "How about next Saturday?"_

_The look on Scorpius' face was all the answer that was required._

* * *

They'd been to Diagon Alley as a family before, of course. But as he watched his son gaze excitedly in all the shop windows, it was obvious to Draco that this trip was different. It was the first time they had come purely with the purpose of getting things for Scorpius, rather than the entire family, and it was certainly the first time they'd come to buy school things for Scorpius.

Lyra and Faye soon grew bored of traipsing round shops to find all the things on Scorpius' list, and Astoria decided to take them to get an ice cream while Draco took Scorpius to get fitted for school robes.

"Another one for Hogwarts, I suppose?" said the assistant as they came in, "Come on up to the back, dearie."

Scorpius stood very patiently as the assistant fussed around him, taking measurements and pinning things in place. Draco couldn't help but think back to when he'd first been fitted for his school robes. His parents hadn't come with him; they'd had other "more important" things to do and had sent him on his own. And that had been when he'd first met Harry Potter. A faint blush came to his cheeks as he remembered how insensitive and rude he'd been. He felt a swell of pride as he watched his polite, sweet little boy chatting to the assistant.

When they came out, all that was left to get was the wand, and a pet. Draco let Scorpius pick out an owl, not even complaining when Scorpius fell in love with the most expensive bird in the shop. He knew his son hadn't done it on purpose, as he would have at that age, and any amount of money was worth it to ensure that Scorpius would write as often as possible.

Unsurprisingly, Scorp was most excited about getting a wand. The smile on his face when he found the right one on his second try practically lit up the shop, but Draco felt a little pang in his heart. His son looked so grown up, holding his very own wand. And now he was going off to Hogwarts. Between looking after him and playing with him and teaching him, Draco hadn't been apart from his son for more than a day at a time since he'd been born, and even that wasn't very often. He had no idea how he was going to let him go. For the first time, he saw the appeal of his parents' methods: hiring somebody else to look after your children and not being so close to them. It must have made saying goodbye considerably easier.

Not that Draco regretted his decisions. He wouldn't give up his relationship with his son for the world.

"What house do you think I'll be in?" Scorpius asked suddenly as they came out of the wand shop. The question caught Draco by surprise. He hadn't really thought about the issue much, and had never discussed it with Scorpius.

"Well I was in Slytherin, as you know," he said, "And Mum was in Ravenclaw. It does quite often run in the family, but not always. Me and Mum will be proud of you wherever you end up."

This answer seemed to satisfy Scorpius, who launched into a series of other questions about classes, teachers, Quidditch teams and Hogsmeade weekends.

Draco smiled. He didn't think he'd ever seen his son so excited about anything, and that was saying something, because Scorpius got excited about even the smallest of things. He was so incredibly easy to please, and it was clear that going to Hogwarts was going to make him very happy.

Yes, Draco was glad to see his son happy. But that didn't mean it wasn't going to break his heart a little to let him go.

* * *

"_So you've definitely got all your books? And don't forget you need to change into your robes before you get there. I packed them right at the top so they'll be easy to find. I've put some money in for when the trolley comes round, but try not to buy too many sweets. And remember–"_

"_Tori, leave the poor boy alone," Draco laughed, "You've told him all of this at least five times already. He won't forget."_

_Astoria sighed. She knew she was fussing too much, but it was easier than facing up to how nervous she was. It went against all her instincts to be sending her little baby off on his own._

_But he wasn't a baby anymore, she reminded herself. He was all grown up, and heading off to Hogwarts. _

"_Come on, you'd better get on the train," Draco said, "It'll be leaving in five minutes, and you want to get on before all the compartments fill up." He picked up his son's trunk and lifted it onto the train, then glanced around him. _

"_Where are Lyra and Faye?" he asked. Astoria looked behind her._

"_They were here a minute ago," she said, "Lyra! Faye! They must be around here somewhere."_

"_I've found them!" Scorpius said, leaning out of the window of his compartment, "They were hiding under the seat in here."_

"_Girls! Get out here right now!" Astoria called, trying to sound strict but failing miserably, as she always did with these two. Two very sulky little girls came out of the compartment and hopped off the train._

"_It was Lyra's idea," Faye said._

"_We want to go to Hogwarts with Scorp," Lyra explained, "It's unfair! Why does he get to go and we don't?"_

"_You'll get to go soon," Astoria said, "Just a few more years, and heaven help your teachers when you do!"_

_She reached through the train window to kiss Scorpius on the cheek._

"_Have fun, darling," she said, "And write and let us know how the Sorting goes."_

"_I'll miss you all," Scorpius said, tears springing to his eyes. Astoria had to resist the urge to pull him off the train and take him back home with them. She couldn't, though. He wasn't properly upset. It had obviously just hit him that he was going to be away from home for a long time. But once he got to school and started making some friends he'd forget all about his homesickness. _

"_We'll miss you too," Draco said, leaning in to hug his son, "But you'll love Hogwarts, and before you know it it'll be Christmas and you'll be home again. The time will fly past, I promise."_

_The train began to pull out of the station, and they all stood back, waving and waving until it was out of sight._

"_He'll be alright, won't he?" Astoria asked Draco, allowing the worry to creep into her voice now that Scorpius wasn't there anymore. Draco put an arm around her shoulders. _

"_Of course he will," he said, "He'll have a great time there, and I'm sure his time at Hogwarts will be much better than ours was."_

"_Yeah, yeah, can we go get an ice cream now?" Faye moaned, seeming to have decided that she'd been patient and listened to her parents' conversation for long enough. _

"_Ice cream!" Lyra agreed. Astoria laughed. She was sure Scorpius hadn't been this demanding when he was eight._

"_Ice cream it is."_

* * *

Draco was surprised by the excitement he felt when he saw Scorpius' owl tapping on the window. It wasn't as if Lyra and Faye weren't capable of making enough noise for ten people, but the flat seemed oddly quiet without Scorp's cheerful chatter and endless questions.

He opened the window, took the letter from the bird and ripped it open eagerly.

"Did I hear an owl?" Astoria asked, coming through to the kitchen. She smiled when she saw the letter in Draco's hands. "What does he say?"

Draco skimmed through the letter.

"He's in Hufflepuff," he said, "And he made friends with Albus Potter on the train. He really is trying to be as different from me as possible, isn't he?"

"I don't think he's _trying_," Astoria said gently, "But you can't have expected Scorpius to be in Slytherin, can you? And he's such a friendly person; he'll probably be friends with half the school by end of the year."

She read the letter herself before heading off to work. He set Lyra and Faye some schoolwork to do before going to sit in Scorpius' room to read the letter through again. Hufflepuff. He hadn't been expecting that. In spite of his words to Scorpius in Diagon Alley, he'd been hoping for Slytherin, or Ravenclaw like Astoria. He'd even been prepared for Gryffindor. After all, his friendship with Neville meant he had a great deal of respect for Gryffindors now.

But Hufflepuff. Back when he was at school, they'd been the house he'd respected the least, the ones he'd ignored most of the time. He'd supported Cedric Diggory in the Triwizard Tournament, of course, but that had only been to spite Harry Potter. He'd never really expected Diggory to do well.

And yet now his son was in Hufflepuff. It shouldn't really have been a surprise. Even just looking around this room. The room which had once been rainbow-coloured, for their rainbow-coloured child. Even back then, when it had been many different colours, yellow had been less represented than the other colours. And yet, Scorpius had changed that. He'd chosen new, yellow curtains when he was five, and a yellow box to keep his school things in. He'd painted his bookshelf yellow all by himself when he was nine. Little by little, the room had been overtaken by the Hufflepuff colour.

Not that Draco thought he'd done it out of any wish to be in Hufflepuff. Scorpius was just such a bright, sunshiny child that he'd always been drawn to the bright, sunshiny colour. He belonged in Hufflepuff, Draco couldn't deny that. And Scorpius could never have gone to Slytherin, not really. The constant backstabbing and power struggles would have upset him, and he was so open and honest himself that he'd never have learnt not to take everything a Slytherin says at face value.

Hufflepuff. It was a great house, really. After all, Hannah was a Hufflepuff. And as his friendship with Neville had strengthened, he'd come to depend on Hannah's patience and wise advice. The Leaky Cauldron was a different place since she'd started running it, and she was the heart of the place. People admired Neville, but they loved Hannah.

Yes, Scorpius could be like that. He _was_ like that. He was the sweetest, most affectionate child Draco had ever met, and he'd do well in Hufflepuff.

It was going to take Draco a little bit of time to get used to this. It would be hard to completely get rid of all the old prejudices that had once been such a permanent part of his life.

But he would. For Scorp's sake, he would.


	24. X-Ray Spells And Unexpected Pride

**X-Ray Spells And Unexpected Pride**

_Dear Mr Malfoy,_

_My name is Albus Potter. I've never actually met you but I'm very good friends with your son, Scorpius. I'm writing to you because I'm worried about him. He says you never really talked about the War much, but that his Grandad has told him lots of stories he is now discovering weren't really true. I think he's finding it quite difficult, learning that you weren't really much of a hero, no offence. Anyway, a lot of the other kids don't really like him much because of who he is. They make fun of him quite a lot, and make jokes about you in front of him and stuff. He tries to stick up for you sometimes, but can't deny the things they say, because he doesn't actually know what's true and what's not. I know you probably find it hard to talk about the War – most adults I know do – but I think it would really help if he could hear the whole truth from you. I think he's being bullied at the moment too, but he won't talk to me or Rose about it. I'm not sure what to do, but I thought you should know._

_Yours Sincerely,_

_Albus Potter_

_P.S. Please don't tell Scorpius I wrote to you. I don't think he'd like it much._

Draco sat and stared at the letter he had just received. His hands were shaking slightly.

"Dad? Are you okay?" He looked up to see Faye standing in the doorway.

"I'm fine, honey," he replied, trying to keep his voice steady, "Aren't you supposed to be doing your maths?" As they got older he was giving the girls more of a timetable, allowing them to work on their own and come to him whenever they had a problem, rather than him having to sit with them the entire time.

"I finished mine," Faye said, "And Lyra got annoyed cos I kept fidgeting and stuff while she was trying to concentrate. So I decided to come through here."

"Why don't you read for a bit or something then?" Draco suggested, "Just until Lyra's finished, and then we can have lunch."

"But I don't _want _to read," Faye moaned, "Reading's _boring_." Draco sighed. He missed Scorpius, who had always been happy to sit and read for hours, and was far more dedicated to his schoolwork. Lyra and Faye had much shorter attention spans, and had to be taught in smaller blocks with frequent breaks and activities that would capture their interest. It was fun, but rather exhausting sometimes.

Normally he would have played a game with Faye or something to pass the time, but right now he couldn't think about anything other than the letter. He needed some time to digest it and decide what to do.

"Start preparing some stuff for lunch, then," he said, "There's bread in the cupboard, and you can decide what you want in your sandwich."

"I could make the sandwiches myself!" Faye exclaimed, suddenly rather taken with this idea, "We'll have cheese sandwiches, and tomato! Except Lyra, cos she doesn't like tomato."

She wandered out of the room, deep in thought. Draco sighed in relief, then unfolded the letter and reread it for the third time.

He couldn't believe Scorpius was being bullied. It just didn't make sense. Scorp was such a likeable kid. No one who got to know him could ever feel any sort of animosity towards him.

But that wasn't the point really, if what Albus Potter said was true. Scorpius wasn't being bullied for his own actions. He was being bullied for Draco's. It wasn't right.

His immediate instinct was to storm up to the school and demand that something be done to stop the bullying. But that would probably only make the situation worse, and would definitely embarrass poor Scorpius, who would blame his friend Albus for telling him.

His second, slightly more reasonable, idea was to write to Neville. He'd been thrilled when he'd heard that Neville was taking up the post of Herbology teacher. Letting Scorpius go off to Hogwarts on his own hadn't been quite so hard when he'd known his best friend would be there to keep an eye on him.

But what could Neville do? He wasn't even Scorpius' Head of House, and it was unlikely he would know who the culprits were. And even if he did, they would probably assume that Scorpius had told on them to Neville, which wouldn't help his attempt to seem less like Draco.

He wished Astoria were here. She would have a better idea of what to do. But she was on a business trip to France. He could write to her, he supposed, but he didn't think he could stand waiting for a response. He wanted to do something now.

Really, the best thing he could do was take Albus' advice. Scorpius needed to know about the War, and not just the official version he had taught him as part of his History course. Draco had to share his own side of the story. It was going to be hard, though. Scorpius had always looked up to him so much, seen him as his perfect, wonderful Dad who was always right. He didn't want to give that up. But he had to. Scorpius was going to hear the whole story at some point anyway, and it was better that he hear an accurate version.

With a sigh, Draco set down the letter, which he would reply to later, and headed through to the kitchen to rescue Faye's disastrous attempt at making sandwiches.

* * *

"_Astoria, thank goodness you're here." Draco looked exhausted as he jumped up from the seat by the hospital bed._

"_How is she?" Astoria asked, glancing down at her daughter, who was currently asleep. _

"_She's fine," Draco said, "The only reason they decided to keep her in hospital at all was her age. Fixing broken bones can be more complicated with young children, since they're still growing. But the Healer says she'll be able to leave in the morning."_

"_So what happened? Your mother didn't really explain in her owl. She just said Lyra had broken her arm and that you'd taken her to St Mungo's." _

"_She fell off her broom," Draco explained with a slight smile, "Not surprising, really. She and Faye were showing off, competing to see who could perform the most ridiculous stunts. I'm so glad I put a charm on their brooms to stop them going above a certain height, otherwise she'd have fallen from a lot higher."_

_Astoria looked down at Lyra fondly. She and Faye were such daredevils, and so competitive, that it was a miracle they hadn't ended up here sooner. But it had practically given her a heart attack when she'd heard her daughter was in hospital. She took Draco's hand and squeezed it gently. She was impressed by how calm he'd remained. He smiled at her, and they shared a moment of relief that the injury hadn't been worse, which it could so easily have been._

_Meanwhile, Faye was chattering away to the Healer._

"_That spell you used to check where her arm was broken was cool," she said brightly, "How does it work? Is it a bit like an x-ray?"_

_The Healer looked bemused. He glanced at Draco and Astoria, but they merely shrugged, having no idea what Faye was talking about either. _

"_What's an x-ray?" he asked her._

"_Oh, it's this machine that muggles use to find out about broken bones and stuff," she explained, "The boy in the flat under ours was telling me about it. He broke his leg a few months ago, and he had to go about in a wheelchair for ages. But apparently the x-ray was really cool. He got to see a picture of his leg, with all the bones and stuff showing so they could see where it was broken. Is the spell a bit like that?"_

_Astoria exchanged an amused look with her husband, deciding to leave the Healer to deal with the questions._

"_X-rays …" she laughed, "Whatever next?"_

* * *

"Scorp, I need to talk to you." Draco knew his son had only just got home, but he needed to get this over with. Something in his tone must have made Scorpius worried as he abandoned his unpacking, looking nervous. Draco sat down on Scorpius' bed, gesturing for his son to join him.

"Is this about Potions?" Scorpius asked, "Because I know I'm not as good as you were at it, but I'm getting better. Rose has been helping me, and my marks have been going up a lot."

Draco was momentarily thrown by this unexpected outburst. Scorpius looked so genuinely worried that he felt his heart clench. He'd hoped to prevent Scorpius developing this need for approval that he'd had with his own father, but somehow he hadn't succeeded.

"No," he said, "It's not about Potions. I'm not sure I was ever that good at it anyway. The Potions Master was a friend of my father's, which was probably the main reason I always got such good marks. I certainly never tried as hard as you do."

"Oh," Scorpius looked relieved, and then worried again, "So what _is_ it about?" Draco took a deep breath.

"It's about the War," he said slowly. Scorpius was silent for a long moment.

"Oh," he said again.

"I've only ever taught you the version of the War that's in all the History textbooks," Draco began, "And I know your Grandad has told you a lot of things about the Malfoy family's role, but most of those probably aren't very accurate. And by now I'm sure you've heard a lot of things about the Malfoy family at school which probably are more accurate. But I want you to hear my version."

"Okay," Scorpius agreed, "That would be … good. I've kind of wanted to ask you about it for a while, but I didn't want to … well I'm glad you're going to tell me."

And so Draco told him. He talked and talked and talked. Astoria had taken the twins out to do some flying practice on their brooms (which now had a lot of safety charms on them) so there was no interruption. And so he talked. It was strangely liberating to let it all out. He hadn't ever talked about the War in this much detail before. The person he'd told the most to was Astoria, but he hadn't had to explain quite so much to her because she'd known a lot about it already. Scorpius hadn't lived through the War, hadn't known what it was like to be a part of that.

At the same time, it was absolutely terrifying to be so incredibly honest. It was like those x-rays Faye was so fond of talking about, stripping back the outside mask to show what was really going on inside. And he was so scared of what Scorpius might think when he knew the truth. He didn't look at his son's face as he talked, staring instead at his hands. He wanted to put off knowing for as long as possible. Put off seeing the judgment in his son's eyes that he saw in the eyes of so many others.

He didn't leave out anything. He knew Scorpius was only twelve, but he was mature for his age, and Draco thought he could deal with it. He talked about his family's beliefs about blood purity, and about how he'd thought he believed them for so long. He talked about his father being thrown into Azkaban, and about the pressure to step up and redeem his family's honour. About how excited he'd been originally to be trusted with such an important task, but how he'd quickly realised what being a Death Eater was really like. About how he'd had to continue to protect his parents, but how he hadn't been able to kill Dumbledore. About that awful year when Voldemort (whose name he was only beginning to be comfortable to say now) had lived in the Manor. And about the final battle, when Harry Potter had saved his life and he'd realised he didn't want Voldemort to win, and that he'd rather die than go back to living under his command.

When he finished his throat was dry and he was trembling slightly. Reliving all that had been harder than he'd expected it to. His life now was so incredibly different.

Slowly, he lifted his head to look at Scorpius. Until the moment he looked up, he was expecting disgust and contempt to be written across his son's face, but the moment he met Scorpius' eyes he realised that his son probably wasn't even capable of those emotions. Scorpius looked … he wasn't even sure he could define the expression. He waited in silence for Scorpius to say something.

But he didn't say anything. Instead he leaned forwards and threw his arms around Draco's neck.

"I love you Dad," he whispered as he hugged him tightly, then he drew back again and said confidently, "And I don't care what the others say. I'm _proud _that you're my Dad. You're just as brave as Rose's parents, and Al's, and Professor Longbottom. I wouldn't swap you for the world. You're the best Dad anyone could have, and I'm not ashamed of being a Malfoy anymore. I'm proud of it."

And with that he jumped off the bed and ran to the front door to greet Astoria and the twins, who had just arrived. Draco remained sitting on the bed, slightly stunned. He wasn't sure what exactly he'd done that Scorpius considered so brave, but he didn't care. His son wasn't ashamed of him, he was proud to have him as a Dad.

It was probably pathetic that Draco depended on his son's approval as much as he'd once depended on his father's. But that didn't matter. Scorpius was proud of him. And that was all that mattered.

* * *

"_Draco, it's a letter from Scorpius!" Astoria took the letter from the owl and tore it open eagerly. Scorpius wrote less and less often now that he was in second year, no doubt very busy with schoolwork and with his friends. She couldn't wait until the summer, which wasn't too far off now. It felt like far too long since she'd last seen her son. _

"_Let me know if it says anything interesting," Draco called through, "I'm a bit tied up at the moment."_

_Astoria scanned through the letter. It was about subject choices. She'd forgotten that they'd be choosing soon. Scorpius didn't say much about what he actually wanted to take, but seemed to be more worried about what other people thought he should take. Apparently he'd received a letter from Lucius advising him on the subjects most appropriate for getting a job at the Ministry. Clearly Scorpius didn't want to work at the Ministry, and certainly not in the capacity Lucius was hoping for. She sighed. Her father-in-law had certainly improved his views on things, but he was still very old-fashioned sometimes, and didn't quite understand that the position of the Malfoy family in society had changed. He ought to have realised from the fact that Draco had worked as a waiter and then become a stay-at-home dad, but he was determined to "redeem the family name" through Scorpius._

_Astoria personally thought Scorpius could do a lot better than simply living up to the Malfoy standards. _

_She knew Draco would want to reply to the letter. What he would decide to say she wasn't so sure. She hoped he wouldn't try to steer Scorpius' decision too much. Then again, it was a parent's decision to give advice, and having been his teacher for years, Draco would probably know what sort of subjects Scorpius would be good at. _

_She headed through to her bedroom to show Draco the letter, and realised that she ought to have taken his earlier words more literally. He was tied to a chair in the middle of the room, while Lyra and Faye danced around him, laughing and waving his wand in the air. _

"_What happened?" she asked, "How on earth did they manage that?" Draco grinned._

"_I'm not sure exactly," he said, "These two are very sneaky." She was sure she could hear a hint of pride in his voice as he said that, though he tried to frown disapprovingly. "However," he continued, "What they are forgetting is that I am a Slytherin, and therefore equally sneaky." He stood up from the chair, the ropes falling away from him. Lyra and Faye froze, staring at him._

"_But we made sure we had your wand!" said Lyra, who was currently holding it, "How did you get out without a wand?"_

"_Those new time-delayed joke wands are really rather handy. Who knew the Weasleys could be good for something after all?" Draco said with a smirk, as the wand in Lyra's hand squawked and turned into a rubber duck. "Did you really think I'd keep my wand in such an obvious place as my back pocket?" He withdrew his real wand from his sleeve and brandished it at the girls. They simply stared at it, and for a moment it looked as though they might burst into tears, but then they both started laughing. _

"_We'll get you next time, Dad!" Lyra threatened, and she pulled her sister out of the room, already whispering urgently in her ear._

_Draco laughed and turned to his wife._

"_What's Scorpius saying?" he asked. Astoria held out the letter._

"_It's about subject choices," she said. Draco scanned the letter quickly, his face darkening as he reached the part about his father's advice._

"_Can you keep an eye on the girls?" he asked, "I need to reply to this." Astoria nodded. She just hoped his answer was going to be helpful, and not put more pressure on Scorpius than he already seemed to be feeling._

_A week later, they received another owl, informing them that he had chosen Care Of Magical Creatures and Muggle Studies. She watched Draco's face carefully as he read it, expecting him to react in some way to what must have been the last subjects he would have wanted his son to choose._

_He didn't frown once, but wrote a quick note saying he completely approved of Scorpius' choices. She knew that must have been hard for him, just as it must have been hard for Scorpius to choose subjects that he knew Draco didn't really like. _

_She had never been so proud – of her husband _and_ of her son._

* * *

"So how's Scorpius doing?" Draco asked Neville. They were sitting in the Leaky Cauldron. It was a Hogsmeade weekend at Hogwarts, and Neville had taken advantage of the opportunity to come home for a visit, which he did as often as possible. Draco had waited as long as possible, talking casually about Lyra and Faye, and about how the Leaky Cauldron was doing, and about Neville's work. But now he had to ask. Scorpius' letters always sounded very upbeat and he seemed to be enjoying school, having just moved up into third year and started his new subjects, but it was hard to know for sure.

"Well, as I'm sure I've told you before, he's a natural at Herbology," Neville said, "And all the other teachers rave about him. Even in the subjects he's not naturally good at, he tries so hard and is always so patient and polite. The sort of student every teacher loves to teach." Draco beamed proudly. He knew Scorpius was all of those things, of course, but it was nice to have it recognised by others.

"And what about … the other students?" he asked hesitantly, "I heard he was being bullied a little back in first year. Did that continue?"

"I heard about that too," Neville said, "But I didn't hear about it until much later. Apparently he began to stand up to them and they stopped pretty quickly. Particularly after Rose Weasley threatened to hex them all. And then a little later he rescued a Gryffindor first year from a group of bullies, which immediately gained him the loyalty of my entire house. Apparently he's seen as a bit of a hero, especially by the first years. And his best friends are Albus and Rose, but I've seen him chatting to people from all the houses. You're son's quite a popular kid."

Popular. That was a funny word. Draco had considered himself popular, back when he'd been at school. He'd had plenty of followers and admirers. And people hadn't really dared to cross him. But somehow he doubted Scorpius' popularity was like that. In fact, it sounded like Scorp was popular for standing up to people like Draco and his friends.

His son certainly was different. He might look like a Malfoy, but that was where the similarity ended.

Then again, perhaps he was just a different kind of Malfoy.

A better kind of Malfoy.


	25. You're Beautiful

**A/N: Well, this is the second last chapter of this story, which I'm kind of sad about. A couple of people have been asking if I'll do a sequel. I think I see "As The Walls Fall Down" as the sequel to this, even if some of the event don't completely match up, so I don't think I will. However, I do plan to write a prequel about Lucius and Narcissa, so look out for that. **

**You're Beautiful**

"_We're going to Hogwarts! We're going to Hogwarts!" Lyra and Faye danced excitedly round Draco and Astoria, chanting the words in unison, until Astoria began to feel a little dizzy. Her daughters might be eleven now, and heading off to Hogwarts, but sometimes they didn't seem a day older than seven. _

"_Yes, yes, we know," Draco said patiently, "But if you don't shut up then your mother's going to have an awful headache and might not be able to drive properly, in which case we might reach the station late and then you'll miss the train." The girls fell silent at this sobering thought, and Astoria threw her husband a grateful look. _

_With the twins now helping, they soon got the trunks safely stacked in the boot of the car, followed by the three children. Lyra and Faye were chattering away excitedly, asking Scorpius all sorts of questions about Hogwarts, most of which he avoided with a mysterious, "You'll find out soon enough."_

"_I wonder what house we'll be in," Lyra said. She and Faye pondered the question for a minute. _

"_Not Hufflepuff," Faye said, "We're far too smart to be in Hufflepuff."_

"_Oi!" Scorpius retorted, batting playfully at her, "Hufflepuff's _are _smart!"_

"_Perhaps we'll be in Ravenclaw," Lyra continued, ignoring him, "Ravenclaw's are smart."_

"_Nah, too boring," Faye argued, "We'd have to study all the time if we were in Ravenclaw!" She looked disgusted by the very thought, and this time it was Astoria's turn to glare at her. _

"_So either Gryffindor or Slytherin," Lyra concluded, "They'd both be good." _

"_Yeah," Faye agreed, "Gryffindor or Slytherin."_

_Either Gryffindor or Slytherin. That was an odd decision to come to, considering the houses had always been mortal enemies, the complete opposite of each other. But now that Astoria thought about it, it wasn't so surprising really. After all, it was the similarities between the two houses that were really the cause of their enmity. _

_They arrived at the station in plenty of time. Of course, Lyra and Faye had been here plenty of times before to see Scorpius off or pick him up, but they were far more excited this time. This time they wouldn't be waving the train off and then returning with their parents. This time they would be on the train, and they were sure to remind everyone about that fact as often as possible. _

_It would be different for her and Draco too, Astoria knew. Their one consolation while waving Scorpius off had always been that they still had two children at home with them. But not anymore. The flat would seem very empty with just the two of them._

_There were no emotional goodbyes from Lyra and Faye. They just weren't the type for that. They'd always been more independent than Scorpius, perhaps because they had each other. _

"_See ya!" Lyra cried, jumping onto the train and pulling Faye with her._

"_We'll write when we get the chance!" Faye said, before being dragged off down the corridor. Astoria smiled fondly after them._

"_Keep an eye out for them," she said to Scorpius, who hadn't yet got onto the train._

"_Of course," he said, hugging her briefly, and then his father, "I've got to go – I said I'd meet Rose and Al."_

_He jumped onto the train, which pulled away shortly afterwards. _

"_Can you believe they're so grown up?" Astoria asked, turning to Draco, "Lyra and Faye setting off to Hogwarts for the first time, and Scorp going into fifth year."_

"_It'll be strange not to have them around," Draco agreed._

"_What are you going to do now?" Astoria asked. It had suddenly occurred to her that this must be harder for Draco than for her. At least she had her job. Looking after the kids had been Draco's job for the last fifteen years._

"_Well Hannah offered to let me come back to the Leaky Cauldron," Draco said, "But I'm not sure I could go back to being a waiter now. That's a job for young people, not for a middle-aged father. But I was talking to some friends the other day who said they knew some people who were having the same difficulty we had about teaching the kids. They can't send their children to a muggle primary school, can't afford a tutor, and they both work so neither of them can commit to full-time home-schooling. And I was thinking there must be a lot of people within the Wizarding World who face the same issue. So what if I were to start little classes for those children? I'd charge far less than a tutor, and I'm sure the children would benefit from learning as part of a group. It would be a bit like a school, but less formal."_

_He looked at her, obviously seeking her approval. She smiled. She hadn't seen him this excited about something since he'd first started teaching Scorpius. _

"_That's a great idea, Draco," she said, "You're brilliant with children, and I know of at least three different couples who'd be thrilled to take you up on this. You should go for it."_

* * *

Tap. Tap. Tap. Draco looked up from the table, where he and Astoria were sitting eating breakfast. It was a Sunday, which was the only day the two of them were ever able to eat together in the morning, without Astoria having to rush off to get to work on time.

"I think that's Lyra's owl," he said, getting to his feet to let it in. Astoria looked up with interest.

"I think you're right," she agreed, "It's about time the twins wrote to us. We must have had at least three letters from Scorpius already, and I really would like to know what house they've gone into."

Draco skimmed through the letter, then sat down very quickly.

"I think they've been waiting to tell us all their news at once," he said, "This letter's from both of them. Apparently they've had three detentions already. And they don't seem very apologetic about it either. In fact, I'd swear they're actually _boasting _about it."

Astoria shook her head fondly.

"We'll have to write a very disapproving reply, of course," she said, "But honestly I'm not very surprised. I do feel sorry for their teachers, however."

Draco had to admit he wasn't surprised either. The one thing he didn't miss from his days teaching the twins was trying to think of more and more imaginative forms of discipline, ones that might actually get through to the two troublemakers.

"What about their house?" Astoria asked, "Which poor Head of House is stuck with them for the next seven years?" Draco took a deep breath. This was the part of the letter that had surprised him the most.

"Lyra's in Slytherin and Faye's in Gryffindor," he said, "I'm not sure who the Slytherin Head of House is, but if anyone can handle them then I suppose that Neville can. I wish him luck in that."

"Different houses," Astoria mused, "Well I didn't expect that. They've always been so inseparable. I suppose it'll be good for them, though, to make some different friends. And can you believe that with children in three of the four houses, not one of them made it into Ravenclaw?" She pretended to look offended, and Draco laughed.

"I guess you're the only Ravenclaw in the family," he said, "But Scorpius is the only Hufflepuff, and Faye is the only Gryffindor. What a strange, mixed family we are." It was very odd, and once upon a time the idea that his family would have anyone but Slytherins in it would have horrified him. But now he had all four houses represented, and he couldn't bring himself to be upset about that. It was quite nice, really.

"Any other news?" Astoria asked. Draco nodded.

"They're both on their respective Quidditch teams," he said, feeling a little glow of pride as he imparted this particular piece of news, "Apparently neither of their captains even wanted to let them try out because they're only first years, but they refused to leave the pitch until they'd been given the chance. I think both captains probably only agreed to try and get them to leave more quickly, but the moment they saw them fly they were both signed as Chasers."

"That's great!" Astoria exclaimed, "And they deserve it, after all the practicing they've done over the last few years."

"Yeah," Draco agreed, "But I dread to think what Slytherin versus Gryffindor Quidditch matches are going to be like. They both get so competitive." He sat down to read the letter again. He was so proud of his girls.

* * *

"_Draco, leave all that paperwork and come and eat!" Astoria pretty much had to drag her husband through to the kitchen. He'd been very distracted lately. The school idea had been far more successful than they'd ever expected. He'd had to rent out premises near Diagon Alley to use, because there were far too many children to fit in their little flat, and had hired a second teacher. He was currently applying to the Ministry of Magic to try and get funding to expand the project, and was hoping that one day it could be run like the Muggle education system, without parents having to pay for their children's schooling._

_But today was their wedding anniversary, and Astoria was determined that the two of them would spend at least a few hours together. A meal together in the kitchen was hardly romantic, but it was better than the takeaways on the sofa they'd been eating more and more of lately. _

_She thought Draco had probably forgotten about the anniversary, what with everything that had been going on lately. She didn't blame him, not really. They'd been married for seventeen years now. It wasn't practical anymore to expect romance all the time._

_But Astoria couldn't help but feel a little frustrated as they sat down to the meal, both wearing their usual, casual jeans. Would it have been so hard for Draco to book a table at a fancy restaurant, as he had for their anniversaries back in the first few years of their marriage? And she could have dressed up, and he could have worn a suit, and just for the evening she could have felt young and beautiful again._

_She had to force back the tears as she looked up from her meal to Draco, who had set his fork down and was contemplating her._

"_There's something missing," he said thoughtfully, then drew a little box from his pocket and set it on the table in front of her. She knew a look of surprise must have come onto her face, because he laughed._

"_You didn't really think I'd forgotten, did you?" he asked, "Happy Anniversary, Tori."_

_Carefully, she lifted the lid of the box. Inside was a beautiful, heart-shaped locket on a silver chain. She opened the locket. In one half was a picture of her and Draco on their wedding day, while the other half held a picture of the three children, taken a few years ago. Scorpius was waving enthusiastically at the camera, while the twins pulled faces at each other. _

_She sighed. Draco immediately looked worried._

"_What's wrong?" he asked, "Don't you like it?" _

"_It's gorgeous," Astoria said, "It's just … well I look so pretty in that picture. And I love the kids, I really do, but I miss being pretty and young and swept off my feet by how much you were in love with me."_

_Draco was silent for a long moment, and Astoria felt tears well up in her eyes. She felt guilty for ruining the anniversary like this, especially after Draco had got her such a wonderful gift. Then Draco got to his feet, picked up the locket and carefully fastened it around her eyes. Standing behind her, he wrapped his arms around her._

"_You're right," he said, "You were very pretty on our wedding day. I've never seen such a gorgeous bride. But when I look at you now I don't see somebody pretty, or even gorgeous. I see somebody beautiful. You're beautiful, Tori, and I'm more in love with you now than I ever was then."_

_His voice was low and sincere, and in it Astoria could hear the man she had fallen in love with so many years ago. But more than that, she could hear the man she was in love with now, and it was a deeper love than she could ever have felt back then. It was a love with seventeen years worth of memories to strengthen it, and she knew she would never give that up, even to return to that wonderful wedding day. _

_Because on her wedding day, everyone would have agreed she was pretty. But that meant nothing compared to the fact that right here, right now, sitting at the kitchen table in jeans and an old t-shirt, with her hair a mess and no make-up on, in Draco's eyes she was beautiful._

* * *

"And Potter passes to Malfoy, who takes off down the pitch, dodges her sister, narrowly avoids a Bludger, and she shoots … aaaand she scores! That's quite a team James Potter has put together this year! People weren't sure about his decision to take on young Faye Malfoy, what with her only being a first year and having her twin sister in the opposite team, but boy has she proven them wrong! So that's sixty-fourty to Gryffindor, with the Malfoy sisters having scored thirty goals each. And Slytherin is in possession, heading up towards the goalposts …"

Draco thought this was probably one of the most gripping games of Quidditch he had ever seen, though that might have been because he had a daughter on each team, and wasn't really sure who he ought to be supporting, so found himself cheering whenever anyone scored a goal. Lyra and Faye were both flying beautifully and mostly the scores stayed fairly even, though Gryffindor were always slightly ahead. They had a stronger team of Chasers, and Draco had to admit that James Potter was a very good captain.

He had come to Hogwarts to see the Quidditch match at the request of the twins, and had consented because it was one of the few opportunities parents had to see their children during term time.

"And Malfoy scores again, bringing the score up to one hundred and fifty-eighty to Gryffindor. Gryffindor are really starting to pull ahead and Slytherin are going to have to start making an effort if they want to catch up."

To Draco's astonishment, the Slytherin team didn't immediately panic and resort to the dirtiest tactics possible, as they always had back when he was on the team. In fact, as he watched Lyra swoop around the pitch, he realised she didn't look concerned in the slightest. Watching carefully, however, he noticed that the Slytherin team began to play more defensively. They didn't seem very worried about scoring goals, but preferred to do everything they could to prevent Gryffindor from scoring more.

Automatically, he found his eyes drawn to the Seekers, the position he had once played. Both Seekers were well above the action, circling lazily around above the pitch. As he watched more closely, however, he realised there was a significant difference between them. The Gryffindor Seeker looked younger, and clearly less experienced. He was obviously happy to let Gryffindor score as many goals as possible before trying to find the Snitch, which would mean less responsibility riding on his shoulders.

The Slytherin Seeker, on the other hand, was doing a very good impression of looking calm and uninterested, but was also very alert. His body language remained relaxed, but his eyes darted around the pitch.

As Gryffindor scored again, prompting an enormous cheer from the spectators in red and gold, the Slytherin Seeker glanced down at his captain with a slight, questioning jerk of his head. It was such a tiny gesture that Draco was sure he would never have noticed it had he not been watching the Seeker at the time. The captain gave a tiny nod, then gave Lyra a look. She smiled, intercepted the Quaffle between two Gryffindor Chasers and set off on the most complicated manoeuvre Draco had seen in the game so far. Immediately, most of the Gryffindor team set off after her. While impressed by her skill at flying, something seemed slightly off about what Lyra was doing. Up until now she had simply grabbed the Quaffle and got it into the goalposts as quickly as possible. She hadn't wasted her time with all this fancy flying. What was she doing?

Eventually, she lobbed the Quaffle towards the Gryffindor Keeper, who caught it easily. It was a sloppy throw, and Draco couldn't understand why she looked so triumphant. Following her gaze, he felt a smirk creep onto his face.

On the opposite side of the pitch, the Slytherin Seeker had his arm in the air, the Snitch grasped firmly between his fingers. The Gryffindor Seeker was still miles away, having been too caught up in watching Lyra to notice his opponent take off. And everyone else, including the commentator and the entire Gryffindor team, had also been so focused on Lyra that they'd been unable to warn him.

"And Slytherin wins with two hundred and thirty points to one hundred and sixty! Impressive tactics from the Slytherin team! I'm sure nobody saw that coming." The commentator was shaking his head, and Draco found himself cheering along with the Slytherins. He was very impressed. That was how Slytherins ought to play, not with blatant cheating but by sneaky tactics and taking advantage of the arrogance of the opposite team.

As he made his way onto the pitch to congratulate Lyra, Draco found himself surprised again. The Gryffindor and Slytherin teams were shaking hands, laughing and congratulating one another on a good game.

"Should've known we couldn't trust you snakes to play a nice, honest, straightforward game," James Potter was saying cheerfully, "But we'll get you next time. A trick like that can only work once, whereas us Gryffindors have actual _talent_."

"Yeah, a talent for not being able to see your own hand in front of your face!" Lyra said, and everyone laughed, while James swiped at her playfully.

"Well done, girls," Draco said when he finally got the attention of his daughters, "That was some pretty impressive flying today."

"Thanks, Dad!" Lyra said, "I think Scorpius should be somewhere around. He said he'd like to see you while you're here."

As if on cue, Scorpius pushed his way through the crowd, greeting various members of the two Quidditch teams by name, commiserating with the Gryffindors and congratulating the Slytherins.

"Hey, Dad," he said, "Good game, wasn't it? I was sitting with the Gryffindors because of Al and Rose, but the Slytherins were very impressive."

Draco agreed, and the two of them caught up briefly. There wasn't much to say because Scorpius still wrote regularly, but it was nice to see his son in person. Draco didn't have a favourite child, of course, but he'd always been closest to Scorpius, perhaps because he was less independent than his sisters.

The conversation didn't last long, however.

"Sorry, I'd love to talk for ages," Scorpius said, "But I'm in charge of organising the party tonight, to celebrate the Quidditch match. You guys are all coming, right?" he said, turning to the two Quidditch teams, who were still discussing the match. They all agreed enthusiastically. Draco frowned.

"But you're in Hufflepuff," he said, "Why are you organising the Slytherin party? And why are the Gryffindors going?" Scorpius gave him a very odd look.

"It's not just a Slytherin party," he said, as though that ought to be obvious, "Anyone's invited. We always have one after Quidditch matches. It started when Rose and me discovered the Room of Requirement, back in second year. The teachers know that we do it, but they don't know where, so there's not much they can do. As long as it doesn't get too wild, and we get the younger years back to their dormitories before curfew, they don't really mind. It's always great."

"And you always organise it?" Draco asked. He was struggling to grasp the concept of all the houses celebrating together after a Quidditch match. It just seemed so odd.

"Yeah. It makes sense, really. I'm in Hufflepuff, so it's really easy to get food from the kitchen. And I know most people, so that helps. Anyway, I've really got to go. Tell Mum I said hi."

He hugged Draco and then walked away, stopping regularly to talk to people. Due to it being a Quidditch match, everyone was very much dressed in their house colours, but there seemed to be no distinction when it came to Scorpius. He greeted members of all four houses the same, with a friendly smile and an individual comment for all of them. He was now too far away for Draco to hear his actual words, but he could see the way people's faces lit up when they saw him, particularly the younger students, who all seemed to adore him.

It was so different from how Draco had been at school that he felt a twinge of something which couldn't quite make up its mind as to whether it was pride or envy.

"Scorpius is quite something, isn't he?" said Neville's voice from behind him. Draco turned to look at his friend, and then back at his son. His inner battle was won and it was with a voice brimming with pride that he replied to Neville.

"He certainly is."


End file.
